aibu to think the school can get fucked telling me what i can and can't put in packups

[InTheWhiteRoom]

ds is 8

he came home with a letter saying his pack up today was inappropriate. it was a very patronising letter "we promote healthy eating" and all that shit.... i can only assume this is because as I put a marshmallow in his pack up. a SINGLE marshmallow. along with his sandwich (cheese salad on granary) 2 bits of fruit and a yoghurt.

aibu to think I am the parent and I decide what goes in lunches?

jeez anyone would think his pack up was a can of coke and a packet of biscuits.

YABVU to think that because you're the parent, you decide what goes into the school lunches

Schools have gone mad. Perhaps we should have farms for children, parents pop them out and then bugger off, leaving the state to be in charge.

FFS, GENERALLY people are aware of healthy eating, target families that actually need help, and leave the rest of us alone!

My DS1 has school lunches. Chicken nuggets, burgers, hoe-hoes (what ever the hell they are), ice cream, cookies etc.....

And yes, I'm on a school rant, as we get stupid 'marks' home for DS as one time he put a piece of rice in a straw and blew it out during lunch. Yes, just like small children are inclined to do. I don't want to have to sign a behaviour chart for it. I've had enough of the nit picking and form checking. How about schools go back to the business of teaching children knowledge, reading, writing, maths etc... and leave parents to the business of raising children in terms of food, behaviour et al.

....actually and I find where we are, parents of other DC have to shoulder some of the blame. Little Jonny goes home and says HRN DS blew some rice out of a straw. Next minute, Parent of Jonny is on the phone to school complaining about it. Yes they're that petty. At least that's the reason I hear from the school that they have to mark every single behaviour that doesn't fit in their 'ideal member of society' box.

**I'd send a short sharp letter back going something along the lines of:

Dear school

it was one Marshmallow. Get over it.**

Love that! I'm putting it in my arsenal for school meeting next week.

"It was one grain of rice in a straw, get over it."

royal

I have never understood why schools think it is ok to even serve DESSERT with school lunches. Sticky toffee puddings, ice cream, chocolate cake etc are all served up at my local Primary.

How many of us grown adults would choose to have a dessert with our own lunches FFS? Its ridiculous.

Schools need to start practicing what they preach before laying down the law on lunchboxes.

East Midlands, and it's pack up here.

Both my DCs have packups, as they don't like the dinners.

Actually, I do recall at least one lunchbox thread where a poster had said her DC's school was trying to confiscate her child's food, even though her DC had to have a special diet (high fat, IIRC) for medical reasons.

I'm sure it's been mentioned by more than one poster that they've had issues with their child's school over lunchbox content.

So I wouldn't be too sure that schools are capable of realising that the nutritional info sent out as part of the "Healthy schools" campaign is aimed at your average healthy child, and shouldn't be treated as gospel for every chhild.

Fair enough fryone but I can't imagine any child being prescribed a diet high in chocolate and sweets. And you can't pass chocolate off as high fat. Avocado and walnuts are high fat, chocolate (unless 70% or over) doesn't really have any benefits for someone on a high fat diet.

I often wonder about the MNetter whose child had multiple allergies and whose lunchbox was a carefully prescribed mix of cheese and stuff and how the school had told her that a new child was due to start in sept who also had multiple allergies including dairy and so she could no longer send in her usual lunch for her DS. I sometimes wonder how that one worked out.

Ahem. Can I just point out to various people upthread who've opined that 'teachers' should butt out of your dc's pack ups, that we're nowhere near them &, beyond general human compassion for those kids who are being fed crap, have no interest in their contents?

You want to take that one up with a) whoever's written the Healthy School Policy (unlikely to be a classroom teacher) & b) the dinner ladies who are attempting to enforce it.

The teaching staff are either working through lunch, running clubs, or sitting on our bums in the staffroom troughing choccy biccies.

Again, schools are perfectly entitled to confiscate just about anything from a student. Permanently depriving them of it is slightly more problematic - which is why I was once solemnly handed a name-labelled ziplock bag containing the single chocolate coin I'd put in dd1's pack up....

The school is being massively OTT. Granted if the packed lunch was persistently unhealthy with nothing but crisps, chocolate, sweets and fatty products then the school has a duty to inform the parents that they have concerns bout the health and well being of it's pupil. It is neglectful when you are denying your child a healthy diet. But as we all know, kids and healthy diet often don't mix well!!!

We promote healthy lifestyles at my school but at the end of the day, that is all you can do. We have kids who have a sandwich but then cake, chcoocolate snack bar, crisps and maybe a yoghurt. Most kids won't eat the sandwich and we don't force them. Forcing a child to eat something they don't want will NOT encourage healthy eating. Denying a child a small treat demonises the treat and will make the child crave it more or even hide it.

School nutrition has gone too far.

Bake some fairy cakes with marshmallows inside.....

Hide the marshmallow in half a wholesale pitta bread.

wholesale pittas? you cheapskate!

Or possibly wholemeal

Maybe, write a letter back saying something along the lines of, when you pay for my child's school dinner, you can decide what goes in it, but until that point. Foxtrot Oscar!

alternatively, write a written request for a nutritional breakdown of the meals they provide, then compare it to the nutritional info of your marshmallow. then write a letter pointing out the differences. followed by 'Foxtrot Oscar!'

My dd once came home shame- faced, with a stern little note because I sent her with a fruit yoghurt for break- time snack.Yet they regularly eat (beige fat-fest followed by chocolate custard) rubbish for school dinners. Dd loves them.....

Schools love a good Foxtrot Oscar letter.

Provides useful advance warning of the sort of parent likely to suddenly lunge at you over the desk, come Parents' Evening.

Also gives the staffroom something to laugh at over our biscuits.

so a parent that writes letters is likely to be violent and uncontrolled? who knew?

No, SunnyBaudelaire,the ones who write polite letters raising sensible concerns are usually OK.

I had lunch at school with DS8 today.

I sat there hoping and hoping that someone would take away his Girl Scout cookies but sadly they allowed him to eat it, although I could see one or two dinner ladies looking envious...

I hate lunch box policing. Obviously the motives for doing it are good, and it is sad that there are some kids whose parents genuinely send them in with terrible crappy stuff.

But in practice, the policing is inconsistent and often poorly-informed or downright hypocritical. Banning chocolate in packed lunches, for example, then offering school dinner puddings which are stuffed full of sugar is just ridiculous. I suspect it is sometimes partly done to persuade more kids to have school dinners.

It's fair enough to ban sweets imo, as they have little nutritional value, but only if schools stop dishing them out as rewards and stop putting sugary crap on the dinner menu.

I once went to a tasting session run by the new caterers at my dc's school. I tasted the flapjacks hesitantly as they were labelled 'sugar-free'. They were delicious. I asked the cook how she made them taste so nice without sugar. She said brightly 'Oh we use golden syrup' I mean, wtf?!

Dd often has marshmallows in pack lunch. They are dairy free and a for a milk allergic child, they make a marvellous pudding. (Especially melted between two hobnobs)

"tbh I never did like stupid rules and never adhered to them and never will"

Good, and I hope you're teaching your DC the same, OP, because you know who followed rules blindly without ever questioning them, don't you!

I remember reading on here someone got told off for sending a "full fat yoghurt" aka yoghurt in for her dd lunch. Ridiculous

Dear parent
It was one marshmallow. Get over it. Just because your child is fed well, beautifully presented, articulate, loved etc etc etc does not give him or you the right to break school rules.

Or perhaps you'd like a note n the newsletter
Dear bad parents, you are obviously too thick to feed your kids so please stick to an apple, ham sandwich and yoghurt. Good parents may of course continue feeding their kids whatever they like because teachers can tell just by looking that they are well looked after and you're an amazing parent.

These rules can't just apply to 'those who need the support' they have to apply to everyone.

I do agree that its inconsistent but its a rule. All this frothing is middle class angst at the idea that someone dares question their clearly superior knowledge and experience. Schools dictate dress, behaviour, attendance. How is food any different? Feed them what the fuck you like the rest of the time.