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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect people to turn up on time?

68 replies

Teapot74 · 10/03/2015 11:45

Not to a dinner party, or on the odd occasion, but everyday??? I always see the same people drifting into school late without a care in the world. It drives me potty! I used to be a teacher and found it very disruptive when you are trying to get the day started. It can't be setting a very good work ethic to the child.
I personally think lateness is utter rudeness and arrogance. "I am more important than you, so you can wait for me"

OP posts:
championnibbler · 10/03/2015 11:48

YANBU.
in my experience, the truly ignorant are unapologetic constant latecomers.

vienna1981 · 10/03/2015 11:49

Certainly not unreasonable. Persistent casual lateness is downright bad manners. I once mentioned this in a job interview when I was on time and the interviewers were ten minutes late. I wasn't having a pop at them but I didn't get the jobAngry .

Morelikeguidelines · 10/03/2015 12:44

Yanbu.

Although I think there are some thing like baby groups that have to allow for a bit of lateness.

Generally it is very rude.

At my DD's school you cannot be late - if you are late then you have to go around the front via the school office. As a result hardly anyone is late.

gabsdot45 · 10/03/2015 12:55

I hate lateness. It's is rude, rude, rude. I'm not talking about the one off traffic jam or alarm clock fail that can cause the occasional late arrival. Some people are just always late for everything. It's so rude. I have a friend like this. When we meet, I purposely time myself to be 15 mins late and I'm always there first.

vienna1981 · 10/03/2015 20:18

Sometimes it doesn't pay to be punctual. I am usually the first to arrive at the office and usually the last to leave. Conversely one of my workshy colleagues always arrives last and leaves first. Not a word from our supervisors or management. Set of twats.

chickenfuckingpox · 10/03/2015 21:34

i told my family my wedding was an hour before it actually was as they were chronically late (my granddads funeral my aunt was curling her hair and doing her make up in the car and she was driving too) who knew they would actually show up on time for once ive a lot of pictures of my family looking peeved on my wedding day with neither me or my oh in them Grin

MoanCraft · 10/03/2015 22:30

My SIL and Bil constantly turn up late for family events and my mil just says 'oh well, you know what they're like' it drives me mad.
My SIL and her family turned up at the church just as I was walking in myself! I was fuming.
Yadnbu.

OwlinaTree · 10/03/2015 22:36

I don't think people who are always late think they are more important than everyone else, I think they are just bad at time management. You are reading too much into it!

mineofuselessinformation · 10/03/2015 22:41

YANBU. I too used to tell xh that the very few that he bothered to attend, including hospital appointments for dcs event was half an hour earlier than it was so we stood a chance of being on time.
One of the things that truly enraged me after we were divorced was him telling me he was deliberately late - because he didn't like me telling him what to do. (FFS Angry)
People who are consistently late are selfish and entitled.

CliveCussler · 10/03/2015 22:43

Yanbu, I hate being late for anything. But, I still managed to marry a man and give birth to a child who are late for absolutely everything.

Drives me bonkers.

queenofthepirates · 10/03/2015 22:43

God I loathe lateness-I had a guest turn up 90 mins late for Christmas dinner last year-she was lucky to get food! She tried to turn up 30 mins late yesterday so I politely sent her a text telling her I'd made other plans so not to come over. I doubt it will make a jot of difference but it will have relieved my blood pressure. It's such a selfish habit to assume the world is waiting for you.

CliveCussler · 10/03/2015 22:45

I agree Owlina, it comes as a complete surprise to dh and dd that they are late.... again.

KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon · 10/03/2015 22:45

This is why people are late. There's rarely an exception.

MiL likes to be an hour late for everything. Last time we were going out (meeting people at a set time) she was swanning around in a towel waiting for her moisturiser to soak in 30 minutes after we should've left. We've stopped inviting her anywhere.

to expect people to turn up on time?
SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 10/03/2015 22:48

YANBU as an every day occurrence.

One-off lateness (with a suitable apology) is understandable & can happen to even the most organised of folk. Routine lateness is rude & annoys the hell out of me.

muminhants · 11/03/2015 10:54

YANBU - it drives me mad. We all have problems once in a while if there is more traffic on the road than anticipated because of an accident or a train delay but on the whole, people can be on time.

What annoys me even more than the people who are late are the people who are say running a course, who then delay the start for the late-comers. I think that shows an enormous amount of disrespect for those who bothered to turn up on time (assuming that there isn't a problem say with parking outside the venue, in which case a 5 minute delay might be fair enough).

I also dislike it when you have a meeting somewhere at say 11, and the people you have a meeting with don't deign to collect you from their reception until 11.15. Hanging around in someone's reception is really really boring.

I am early for everything which is probably just as annoying though!

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 11/03/2015 11:13

Oh do get over yourself. We are always late, we aren't doing it to be rude or because we think we're better than anyone else, it's just a combination of poor time management (I'll admit it, I'm crap at it) and having three bickering children: one toddler, one autistic child and one who is determined to "just finish this puzzle" "just find my bracelet" "just stand in the bathroom for fifteen minutes singing let it go in the mirror when I should be brushing my teeth" Hmm

They fight and argue, the eldest has a meltdown most mornings, the youngest roams around switching appliances on and off, moving bookbags and single shoes, and climbing on things so I have to keep getting her down. In the last few minutes I have to go full sgt major to get them out of the door. And then I usually remember something like a missing PE kit, permission slip, someone hasn't got their hat, or I'm still in my slippers, so I end up going back in and out the house a few times. Then we walk to school and they might step in dog poo, or fall over, or

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 11/03/2015 11:15

...a bolt could fall out of the pushchair frame, as happened last week and I had to virtually carry the bloody thing home with it attempting to fold. I'm just saying, life gets in the way! We aren't all perfect, some of us are struggling.

however · 11/03/2015 11:18

Yanbu. But someone will be along to patholigize it in a minute.

SoonToBeMrsB · 11/03/2015 11:54

YANBU, I can't stand lateness. I once pulled up a friend for being half an hour late and her only response was to tell me to "man up"! Shock I also asked another friend why she was so late and she said "sorry, I was ready for the earlier bus but I needed a poo as I was leaving" - I've learned to stop asking Hmm

The woman who lives below me has two children (around 10 and 7, I'd say?) and every single morning as I'm leaving I hear her shrieking at them in panic, scrabbling with her keys and then she physically runs both boys up the street to the train station. EVERY DAY. It's exhausting just watching her.

hellospring · 11/03/2015 11:59

I don't understand how people can be perpetually late. You know how long it takes to get ready, you know how long it will take to get there. Leave on time.

IT IS NOT DIFFICULT.

knittingirl · 11/03/2015 12:05

Drives me nuts. I have a friend who is always always late. When I had a 3 month old I was meeting her at a town halfway between us (about 40-50mins drive each). She text me just as I arrived (on time) to say that she was just leaving. She's got no kids, and no other obvious excuse. I was fuming. It's just downright rude.

Lweji · 11/03/2015 12:05

You're supposed to be on time for baby groups?
Can't you just go and leave when you please within the allocated time? Confused

EatDessertFirst · 11/03/2015 12:06

YANBU. I despise lateness. A one-off may be excusable (with good reason) but there is rarely a good excuse for persistant lateness. These people think their time is more important than others which is horrendous.

Leave early, get up a bit earlier, be more organised etc etc. There are lots of ways of avoiding being late. Rude, rude, rude!!!

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 11/03/2015 12:06

So presumably your friend should have shat herself in order to be on time? Confused

Yes, do stop asking if the answers make no difference to your opinion on the matter.

A little empathy would go far, as I said before, some people are struggling. We know what time we have to leave but what if my autistic son is having a screaming meltdown, or someone hurts themselves? Some things matter more than being on time. I don't get why people are so blindly rigid on these things.

Nope nope nope, fuck whatever you've got going on in your life, you're late so I'm better than yooou. Pfft.

PuppyMonkey · 11/03/2015 12:06

James, if you know you struggle getting organised in the morning, get up earlier and give yourself more time for faffing. Just a suggestion !

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