to expect people to turn up on time?

[Teapot74]

Not to a dinner party, or on the odd occasion, but everyday??? I always see the same people drifting into school late without a care in the world. It drives me potty! I used to be a teacher and found it very disruptive when you are trying to get the day started. It can't be setting a very good work ethic to the child.
I personally think lateness is utter rudeness and arrogance. "I am more important than you, so you can wait for me"

I genuinely don't think I have ever been late to anything - ever. I am incapable of it. Usually I arrive far too early and end up walking round the block a few times (which I find very irritating). As soon as there is the slightest sniff I might be late I go into a blind panic and still end up arriving early. I think it helps I walk or cycle most places so I know exactly how long it's going to take.

I also start getting ready hours before I need to "just in case". This annoys me too as I end up sitting around with my coat on. This is my own fault. I'm sure there is a middle ground somewhere!

If you are struggling with a disabled child like James or you have a newborn or some other particular circumstance that is different.

I think this thread was aimed at people who don't have any out of the ordinary difficulties but are just always late.

I think some people can't help it, it's just the way they are. I detest being late, so much so that I'm usually half an hour early for everything! On our wedding day I arrived at the church bang on time, much to the horror of all the stragglers who were running past me to get into the church.

At DS's school you have a 10 minute window to get your child into the classroom and after that the doors are locked and you have to go via the secretary. Doesn't stop people being late, but I guess it's easier to track latecomers and address the issue.

I think when people are late all the time they're implying their time is more valuable than yours & it's just rude/ lack of respect.
Everyone gets held up sometimes & that's fair enough but if you commit to be somewhere at a set time you should really try your best to honour that.
Nothing worse than hanging about twiddling your thumbs waiting for other people.

I love my perpetually-late friend and I don't think she thinks she's better than me or is a rude cow who values her time more.

She is the kindest person I know.

Her problem is that she tries to pack too much in, often for the good of other people.

I've learned not to hang around for her because, much as I love her, watching her faff makes me want to strangle her. And I am not a stickler for time.

However, I am nowhere near as kind as her and never will be. She's a lovely.

Wish me luck for our jolly tomorrow. While I've been MNetting I've had four texts from her including an alarming one where she hadn't read the security instructions and was going to turn up without vital stuff

Goodness, James. You sound absolutely hopeless at organising your children. No offence. But by not addressing a problem like this then you are being rude and expecting everyone else to dance to your tune.

For example: why are they doing puzzles in the morning before school? Don't let them, if they're "determined to finish one" or actually discipline them that no, they can't finish it. Take it off them when it's time to leave, for goodness' sake - you're the parent!

Why is your daughter looking for bracelets to wear to school? She shouldn't be wearing jewellery to school. Or you tell her she can't. Again, you're the parent.

Apart from anything else, if this happens "most mornings", then you know it's an issue - so get up earlier! Not really rocket science, is it.

Your attitude of "it's tough shit and everyone else needs to get over us" is just horrible.

We are never late as a family. In fact we are usually early and it certainly helps once your children (and you) have jobs if you are known as utterly reliable. It's an easy way to rise to the top in most situations.Being late is a theft of people's time.

I hate being late for anything, but I realise that things do happen to cause the problem.

Sometimes, I take my grandson to school for 0845. Always park up a few minutes early, and then we know we won't be late.

Last week I dropped him off at school then went to the local Tesco. I was walking around, by it's now 0910 and one of his classmates is being taken around by his mum!

Apparently, he is a regular late arriver, and now they know why. She normally blames him, the poor soul.

A colleague of mine never manages to get to any meetings if they're arranged for any time before 1000. One meeting we went to was at a manufacturer and we were there for some product training.I'm on very good terms with the trainer so warned him about my colleagues tardiness. Training was due to start at 1000. Said colleague sent a text at 0945 to say he would be approximately 10 minutes late due to train problems (he always uses that one!). We never saw him atall! He never even mentione dit the next time I saw him. Very embarrassing.

We are often late to school. It's not laziness it's because my dc has SN and even though we are up at 6am every morning she will have a meltdown as we leave the house. These can vary from half an hour to an hour so we are often late. The school are just thankful she has made it in at all because most weeks she doesn't.

I am always ridiculously early for everything. I panic about being late.

DH, OTOH is late for everything, all the time. He is completely incapable of allowing enough time. He allows 10 minutes for any local journey and an hour for further afield. The walk to school takes 20 minutes but he insists it's 10.

He used to pick me up from work at 5pm. Only I could never understand why it was nearer 5.30pm. Then I found out he was setting off at 5pm for a journey that took anything up to 25-30 mins.

I'm glad this thread is going a bit in the way of the late-comers.

I loathe the way these threads usually go - people who are late value their time more than mine, they are bastards, they wouldn't miss a flight etc.

I was and always will be a bit of a latey. However, after I got a new boss I got my act together, even getting taxis when it looked bad.

It was only when I got in on the dot that I realised that some of the people who joked about me being late were only slightly earlier than me but they were still late.

When I turned up on time for work that meant they were 5-10 minutes late.

It really bothered them.

And then there are the people who turn up 30 minutes early for work because their train or car ride suits them and spend 45 minutes having breakfast in the canteen or putting on their make up in the loo. And then they leave on the dot.

Then I found out he was setting off at 5pm for a journey that took anything up to 25-30 mins

My OH does this.

Table booked for 7:30pm? We'll be ok leaving at 7:30pm. He thinks.
Film starts at 8pm? No problem, leave at 8 as there's always adverts but I've checked and that adverts start at 7:40pm and the film at 8pm.
Theatre play starting at 7:30, 15 minute walk, he delays so we leave at 7:15 then he stops on the bridge to admire the sunset as there's no rush... if we're late we don't get in until the interval and we've paid £20 each to see this!! Yes you can watch it on the small tv in the bar but we paid for a live performance!
My daughter's swimming party at 5pm, a 40 minute drive away? You guessed, he wanted to leave at 5. Until I absolutely forced him to leave in time.

I don't like running into the theatre as the curtain is about to go up. I want to have a leisurely drink before we find our seats or a drink in the bar before going to the table. Drives me mad!

I now tell him all bookings, flights, you-name-it are 40 minutes earlier than they are so we get there without my blood pressure going through the roof and actually in time.

I suffer with the OH problem. He's not a true latey but I am an early. Leaving for a flight/ chunnel has caused many an argument ( I like a good buffer). I only feel relaxed if I get there in plenty of time. He only has to get there so that he makes the flight. Drives me up the ruddy wall. Special needs etc weren't really what I was getting at in this thread, it's the drifters who are late and are clearly not rushing, and when it's the same people day after day. For those people you ARE being rude.

I'm lucky in the respect that my job offers flexible working hours so I can never be late, but if I'm meeting a friend for example I do hate being late and will always time my journey to make sure I'm there or thereabouts at the time specified. And yes someone who is constantly late can be minorly annoying I guess but if it's for a social pint or coffee then it bothers me not, I've enough in my life to be worried about and someone being 15 mins late isn't one of them.

Saying that if I would interview someone for a job and they were late then I'd be inclined not to give them the job over someone who is punctual. Different situations call for good time management and some it's not a big deal. Depends on how you feel I guess.

What bothers me much more are people so obsessed with NOT being late that they have to arrive unnecessary early for everything!!

It's better to have 15 minutes in hand surely than risk being late? I am often going to somewhere where people have paid hundreds of pounds to hear me speak and I always allow loads of extra time. however I am the same when taking the children anywhere - we have that buffer 30 minutes or 15 in case of the very very common traffic and other issues and then if we are early then so what - you bring your newspaper or other reading pile or have your emails to check and you wait until the time. Expecting every journey to be perfect is really silly if you use the London Underground anyway so it is those not leaving a buffer who are going to risk getting the sack for lateness.

I am a pathologically early person. I obsessively plan routes, know where to park, have researched road/engineering works etc.

Consequently I get enraged by late people. And by late people I mean those who are always late. I'm afraid it is arrogance. To leave someone standing around for an hour when there is no good reason is not just rude but just says it all about what you think about that person.

Ultimate "Oh, time just ran away with us," was pil turning up at the church at my wedding after me The vicar was standing at the door wildly waving his arms and I had to hide around the corner until pil had arrived.