to not eat something that makes me ill?

[HookedOnHooking]

I could eat bread, cake and food that contains wheat but I would then have painful, foul-smelling wind, bloating and be shitting 8 times a day. So I don't.

So why the actual fuck should I have to explain my bowel habits in detail all the bloody time to people who think it is acceptable to roll their eyes, sigh and generally think I am doing it for an affectation.

Do people really think I enjoy not eating normal food? Or having to look at ingredients? Or not being able to eat out or choose what I want from a menu? Are people so unutterably rude, stupid and thoughless?

AIBU to present the next person who does this with a tupperwear containing what would happen to me if I have normal food?

I'm not quite sure why being intolerant to something is seen as less valid than coeliac or similar. I have no short term symptoms from eating wheat whilst a friend who is only intolerant has very severe symptoms after consuming it accidentally.

FWIW - I think that life will get easier for you over the next 10 - 20 years.

My db was diagnosed with a nut allergy in the mid - late 80s. At that point no one took it seriously. There were several exposures due to foodstuff that were not labelled as nutty but most definitely were! By the late 90s things were much easier. These days it is a very accepted allergy.

I remember walking down oxford street with dsis sil (really good friend) who said rude word then ive eaten wheat i need to go. I look ahead and said dont worry john lewis ahead. She says i cant make it and ran into pizza hut! I stood for 5 mins outside. I understand as have same problem. Pizza hut who let her use toilet. In my trips around london only one place has said no to me and that was a Chinese restaurant who said you gave to eat before using toilet. Mental note made of them whilst rushing to pub near by.

I try not to eat gluten coz it massively affects my pustular psoriasis
It's a huge pain explaining
It find it harder in restaurants especially on holiday abroad than at work.

I have IBD - there are things I can eat (mostly unhealthy foods) and things I can't eat (except if I'm taking a course of steroids) - namely most healthy foods like fruit, veg, seeds, nuts etc. Doesn't matter how many times I explain, people don't understand and the worst are those who tell me I should eat healthier foods in order to get well. Um...no. Because those foods will result in me spending a week on a gastro ward. But thanks for your unsolicited advice on a disease that you know nothing about

If people can't be bothered to listen, ignore them. Just say, "I've explained this many times before so I won't be doing it again."

I had to explain to a waiter last weekend (at my husband's work do) that I could no longer have the starter I'd ordered two months previously (tomato and mascarpone soup - ordered when I was still on my last course of steroids) because I was temporarily unable to eat tomatoes. He was just

Yanbu AT ALL!!

I have gluten, dairy and meat (yes meat!!) allergies so I am constantly having to refuse food

I get very pissed off with the faces and ignorant probing into my diet. As if I limit myself out of choice! I'd love to accept cake and be able to buy a normal fucking sandwich.

Unfortunately for me, the only gf options in my local costa/m&s are not suitable due to the other ingredients.

It's hard work having allergies/intolerances, I don't know why anyone would think you'd make it up as it's hardly fun

I am the same, if I eat wheat I have the symptoms you describe plus I become covered in hives! It's hard to keep going over with people, my sympathies to you.

It's the relentlessness of having to constantly come out to people. Like when I first met dp, we went to meet his dm for a cup of tea, and we took some nice chocolate with us. She'd never met me and when she exclaimed at the chocolate and queried why no cake, dp said I couldn't eat cake, cue raised eyebrows, "can't eat cake, but can eat chocolate wtf?" We eventually just said, "look, it gives her a terrible arse, that will affect all of us cos before the epic shitting, there'll be epic unhidable gross farting, plus she'll need to remove her lower garments as they won't fit anymore" or words to that effect

You can go for ages without having to explain yourself, or dodging questions, but eventually and relentlessly some fucker feels it's their business to know, and even if you still say nowt, then there's an atmosphere. People get really uncomfortable about it.

I was in hospital, and fuck me, that was a joke. Explaining myself twenty million times a day to twenty million different people, and still getting the wrong food brought, (even though dp brought in loads for me I still needed some food from them)

You would honestly think I was asking for human meat!

I went gluten and wheat free nearly 6 months ago on advice of my GP and feel so much better
I have had a very different experience from you and found all my friends and family have bent over backwards to cater for this
Most restaurants and cafes try to offer something, and on occasions have surpassed themselves particularly if I have been able to warn them in advance
My job involves travelling a fair bit and most venues ask in advance re special diets and provide some option even if only the one choice
Thankfully I am not a fussy eater and manage quite well on rice or potatoes with meat fish, salad or vegetables and fruit
Rather than buy expensive substitutes I just avoid bread cakes biscuits etc totally which has helped with general weight loss
I have bought gluten free flour for occasional use at home with mixed success - pancakes for shrove Tuesday were a hit with all the family, however home made biscuits were a disaster
No one has been rude enough to ask what happens if I did eat gluten the only polite question occasionally has been along the lines of has it helped or do I feel better for it - which I see as genuine concern
Sorry to hear that you have been exposed to so much negativity

natwebb79 Go ahead and tell the next idiot your dog is lovely but I'm not a fan of my wind pipe closing and my head blowing up like a balloon ta when s/he lets their dog jump at you.

Some people do need reminding that there are good reasons for being respectful about other people.

Cooked carrot and roasted peppers for me. I'm vegetarian. Almost every menu has bloody carrot soup or carrot and red pepper soup.

I have a pretty quick and very violent reaction to both.

Can eat them raw with no problem.

It doesn't help that SIL also apparently has a lactose intolerance but is able to eat creamy/buttery mash, ice cream, milk in hot drinks etc.

I have good days and bad days with mine. I have days when I can scoff half a bar of milk chocolate or dollop some custard on my pud and others when a nibble of cheese has me bloated and farting for the rest of the day. I have to go completely lactose free around my period (and whenever I have a tummy bug), but when I was pregnant and breastfeeding, as is common, I was able to have ordinary milk on dairy laden cereal and stuff myself with magnum bars when I was craving them.

Andro - cheese is a hard one, when eating out, because particularly if you don't like eating meat, cheese is in fucking everything. Neither of my boys can have cheese, as it triggers nasty vomity migraines. I can't always eat it because of my (variable) lactose intolerance. DS1's "safe" eating out repertoire *also taking into account various ASD related food aversions) is currently M&S salmon and cucumber sandwiches and Zizzi spag bol. He'll have a sausage roll, at a push. DS2's diet is even more restricted by ASD. For him it's usually a sausage roll, or something and chips, (but please no beans because he'll end up wearing them and no, he doesn't "do" veg)

I would say it was easier when we could just go to pizza hut, but the results most definitely were not!

And people just do not get that they can't have chocolate, either. After some experimentation, DS1's learnt to police himself, there. DS1 hasa learning difficulty and can't. I'm dreading the annual bring home a tub and a half of chocolate day, just before Easter. His 1:1 tries to be vigilant, but she's had to be quite mama bear with people over not giving him chocolate biscuits or similar when he sees them and points at them.

And, of course, I'm going to have to go to the GP and ask for this all to be put on paper, before he gets to secondary school, as so many schools require evidence that a food can't be eaten. Not sure what evidence we can actually provide, other than a letter saying what we've worked out by a process of deduction (which we did by ourselves after being supported through the same process with DS1 after his vomiting became a lot more frequent when he hit 8), since there's no test for this sort of intolerance.

ourvye - tyramine intolerance is possibly what you're aiming for. If you look it up, you might find other foods on the list that your DS has reacted to as well - both my Dad and brother had migraines in reaction to foods, and cheese, chocolate and Chinese food were some of the worst.
Not all of the foods on the list used to affect them, but these ones obviously did.

There is a sort of test for it but it's debatable how useful it is.

If you have a sympathetic GP (I do, luckily) then they might be happy to sign off a list of foods that need to be avoided on your say-so.

ouryve - I hear you about cheese being in everything...and it's getting worse! Don't get me started on the bakery that didn't label their cheesy frosting as such because 'if you can't have the frosting you wouldn't be having the cake anyway because it has milk in it'. I may have been very direct in my discussions with them on that issue [mad]

I'm fairly lucky in that cheese is the only food I'm that bad with and I do eat meat, Chinese and Indian are my go to cuisines

Your boys have my sympathy, it's tough.

I have a DD with selective eating disorder and in our house people should aim for a healthy balance but don't have to eat anything they don't want to.

Come over to my house, although I'm 4000 miles away. I'll make you GF cake and

I've been extremely lucky with my family & friends, they're all just lovely. I have Coeliac and really only had to explain to them once (each). If I say I can't eat something they don't question it. I don't expect them to cook especially or separately for me, but if they do I really appreciate it.

It's the waitstaff and 'people I hardly know' who grind my gears. If I say I can't have gluten, you really don't need to know what happens if I do eat it. After all if someone says "I don't want a cocktail, thanks, I don't drink" we don't accost them with "And why not?" or "Oh come now, you can have just a taste" or "Oh you and your silly fads". We just assume they have a good reason and let it go.

Yes I can sympathise. I'm allergic to certain fruits and tree nuts and coriander, but only when raw, and I've had people do the indulgent smile and eye roll as if I'd made up the rules myself.

DH has intolerances to walnuts, red wine, blue cheese. Turns out the common factor is high levels of histamine. He mentioned this to his anaesthetist before recent surgery and she was very careful to change the sedation she had planned for him. She didn't want any nasty surprises. Worth mentioning those food intolerances in cases like that. It might have turned out not so well if she hadn't known.

Actually, I can't drink alcohol (come out in a rash, feel very ill. No idea why) and I do get that response. "just one won't hurt" "don't be silly", get called all sorts of boring, have people try to sneak it into my soft drinks thinking they're funny...

The problem is there are do many faddy people these days so people are less sympathetic to people with genuine problems.

Faddy people, like my friend who now eats no wheat (to stay slim, a self imposed diet) and makes a hige song and dance about it, it is boring!

Or a friend who has temporarily gone veggie, yet will eat meat if it is very tempting, but makes s huge fuss about only being able to eat vegan food now , then goes home and eats pulled pork

It is tiresome faddy people like this who make it harder fir genuine coeliacs like yourself.

You don't need to explain your diet to anyone, just eat what suits you.

It started for me last summer. I have gluten, I come out in horrific eczema. Last summer I was going twice a week to get dressings changed. It was only when I ended up on IV antibiotics for the cellulitis that I got a referral to a dermatologist in November (first saw doctor in May). The doctor only asked for the blood test after I had been a month gluten free, so negative result.

I was just healing nicely when I switched to Tesco Diet Coke. It has gluten in, but I only thought to check the label when the itch started again.

I can't get the doctors to take me seriously. I don't have much chance with my inlaws.

You need to find a better GP, Lisa. :)