to not eat something that makes me ill?

[HookedOnHooking]

I could eat bread, cake and food that contains wheat but I would then have painful, foul-smelling wind, bloating and be shitting 8 times a day. So I don't.

So why the actual fuck should I have to explain my bowel habits in detail all the bloody time to people who think it is acceptable to roll their eyes, sigh and generally think I am doing it for an affectation.

Do people really think I enjoy not eating normal food? Or having to look at ingredients? Or not being able to eat out or choose what I want from a menu? Are people so unutterably rude, stupid and thoughless?

AIBU to present the next person who does this with a tupperwear containing what would happen to me if I have normal food?

YANBU at all! A lot of people view bread as totally harmless, hopefully awareness will be raised soon and wheat/gluten will be seen as just as likely to cause issues as peanuts are now.

YANBU at all!

When I discovered that eating wheat had been contributing to my lifelong digestive issues, I ditched it happily, if not without some difficulty.
My biggest problem was my mother! She could NOT cope with the concept that I was no longer eating wheat, nor that wheat was in so much.

So I'd go over to hers and she'd offer me cake.
No mum it has wheat in it.
Well have a biscuit then?
No mum, it has wheat in it.
Well what about a sandwich, I can make you a sandwich?
No mum, bread has wheat in it.

Every. Single. Time.

A few friends were eye-rolly at me as well; but I don't eat with the ones who gave me a hard time. Most of them were accommodating, but a few weren't.

I totally understand the feelings you have - some people are just completely ignorant when it comes to intolerance, think that you're "putting on airs to be interesting", have "jumped on a bandwagon" etc. etc. - it's hard to deal with. Harder still if they try to "test" you by feeding you something that contains wheat, just so they can say "Ha! you ate wheat and didn't die!" when you don't instantly explode at their feet.

Like you, I have the after effects later - too late for them to see usually - so I can totally appreciate you wanting to store the results up for them to see!
Don't though. They still won't "get it".

YANBU! Always amazes me why on earth people feel the need to comment on something that has zero effect on them. I had my gallbladder removed and have to avoid creamy/rich stuff otherwise I'm residing in the loo for a fair while. Fortunately my circle of friends/acquaintances don't question. My DM is bad though - not with me, but a relative has a reaction to garlic, adn my mum continues to put "just a little bit" of garlic in bloody everything she cooks for him

It's really easy to make gluten free cake. All you have to do is swap out the flour for almond/gf free oat flour. I make it for work and the gluten free lady won't eat it as it's cake and that has wheat in it Could you pass recipes around to people who are baking cakes/biscuits? Then they don't feel unable to feed you when you come round?

Ah but Avon - it does affect them, you know! My inability to eat wheat makes them deeply uncomfortable - because "well what the hell can you eat then?" or "there's nothing wrong with wheat, you know, you're not better than us because you don't eat it" (usually implied rather than said out loud, in fairness)

Nobody should make others choosing what they do or don't eat feel bad. Whether it's an allergy or a diet or just not wanting onion breath!

Thumbwitch, ah, that's where I've been going wrong, then

I think it's one of these things. At one time (possibly still) gluten-free was the big thing for faddy eaters/dieters. A few of my mates done it. It was a pain in the arse trying to find somewhere they would eat. I have issues myself so have to watch what I eat so understand completely but I get that people are used to friends being gluten free one day and not the next. They should know the difference however if it's been a long term thing

You are being too nice about it. They'll soon back off if you are graphic enough and you get extra points if you can put them off eating their treats too by describing the splattering noises, smells and stains resulting from the explosive results of your illness!

Our staff cafe make these - they are delicious lifemadesimplebakes.com/2014/07/rich-fudgy-flourless-brownies/

Due to having some friends who turned "wheat intolerant" (bar the odd exception when they feel like it) overnight after reading one of those "wheat belly" type books, I would be a bit sceptical of your intolerance. However, after someone has declared intolerance (for whatever reason) I do not offer them wheat again. Their reasons not to eat something is nothing to do with me. I try to avoid fatty sugary food, because I'm trying to lose weight. Luckily I've got good friends and an understanding family, neither of whom would make me feel bad for not eating something. Who cares what others think? No need to present them with a tupperware of poo (unless they're Gillian McKeith).

Just don't discuss eating different food. Why are they even asking? It's quite normal for people to eat other things these days, even without intolerances.

I can be a little, umm, head-on with people who annoy me, which is possibly why nobody has ever insisted I eat anything dairy after I say I don't eat it (except for a smallish amount of things like yoghurt or hard chees where the lactose has already been digested). Personally, if I have already explained then I would say "Look, I've told you that eating this stuff causes me pain so the only reason that I can think of why you're making such a fuss is that you LIKE to cause me pain. So I'll make you a deal, I'll eat without checking what's in it if you let me punch each one of you very hard in the stomach. Then we'll have equal amounts of pain and it won't just be me." For best effect, say it very loudly in a public place.

On second thoughts, maybe not, I'm not sure I could actually follow through on the stomach punch.

I sympathise, I am extremely intolerant with onions (both ends very violently)
Everything has onions in it! So I can never cheat with a jar of ready made sauce or buy a nice carton of fresh soup!
Peoples reactions annoy me as I'm made to feel unreasonable asking if anything has onions in it. Or the inevitable "well I'll just pick the onions out of the salad" remark. I can't tell them can I that the whole salad need to be re-washed thoroughly.
And family forget and we go round for a meal where a casserole is served up where all I can eat is the potatoes (No gravy) Eating out is a nightmare I have to have very plain food or fish, though once in a pub I was served fish and chips and the fish was garnished with red onion rings!

My DDIL is Celiac and when she visits everything the whole family eats is prepared gluten free, in fact we are now preferring gluten free lasagne (made of course with no onions) and dumplings made with glutenfree flour are much lighter.

Food intolerances are a real pain...in more ways than one and I really resent it when people infer that you are being fussy, my standard retort is now "I can't eat that, and I won't eat that" and "Its not that I don't like it, it doesn't like me"

I think you just have to not worry what other people think. You're under no obligation to explain. I am allergic to mustard, so If I'm eating salad in a restaurant I always ask for the dressing on the side, and if i eat at someone's house I always refuse salad which has been dressed. So restaurant staff probably think I am a diet nazi who doesn't eat oily dressings, and my friends probably think Im an unhealthy weirdo who never eats salad, but honestly I don't care either way!

Do what I did
" Hello friend, no cake for me"
"oh Chicky a small piece won't hurt"
" ok, well I'll have a small bit and in 30 mins, excuse me as I will feel sick, I will then start farting, blow up like a balloon, I do hope you have bleach in, as I will need your loo for 30 mins, while I have an explosive upset stomach"

Tell them the facts...hideous I know....
Works though, word soon got around!

I'm vegan I have a complex protein allergy, I'm coeliac and allergic to dairy.

People would find me frustrating but I'm very laid back. I google menus in advance to eating out and graciously eat raw veg and nuts if that's all I'm offered. I went for a lunch at Wetherspoons and had a banana and strawberry drink it was the only suitable think on the menu but I was going with friends who don't have to worry and I wanted to go out so I had the kids beverage. I'm lucky I'm not allergic to nuts or sulphites or something else more hard to cater for.

If you want to be happy you have to just accept youre the odd one out. Honestly if your coeliac and can eat dairy and meat your doing ok. You also don't need to explain every time. I just reply with, allergies but it looks amazing. Most people are ok with this, it's harder if we are eat in more remote places or if there is no online menu but it is doable.

YANBU, my allergy confuses people because I'm not allergic to dairy...just cheese.

I've had the eye rolling, sighing, comments about healthy fats, comments about my calcium intake and accusations of being difficult.

Normally the production of my epi pen stops it.

(I would, however, like to strangle the person who thought putting cheese in sausage was a good idea...ditto cheam cheese frosting and fillings for cakes!)

Due to having some friends who turned "wheat intolerant" (bar the odd exception when they feel like it) overnight after reading one of those "wheat belly" type books, I would be a bit sceptical of your intolerance.

How do you know that it didn't just answer loads of questions they had? I don't eat it 99% of the time because reading paleo blogs and Wheat Belly made me see why I kept being asked when I was due and kept having to nap after lunch. However, because it just doesn't agree with me rather than making me seriously ill, I can sneak the odd haggis pakora (last night, am paying for it today).

People don't get what they don't know. Some foods really make me unwell but because other people (acquaintances) consider themselves allergic or intolerant when just fussy, my friends really don't get it.

Brown bread = trip to the toilet and urgent need of tablets. Have been known to crawl and i mean crawl to the nearest disabled toilets. The pain, the cramps!!!! Its hell. Brown bread is work of the devil.

Yanbu. My dad is bad with whole grain and garlic. I'm his carer so I carefully vet everything he eats (if it's a ready meal) because it results in an arse explosion and he has difficulty walking to get to the loo. I've had to produce a very basic fishfinger/beans/potato meal for him because the ready meal my nan brought in for him (chicken thingy) was loaded with garlic and I really didn't want him to suffer! Everyone questions the brown bread/garlic thing!
I'm vegan. If I so much as have dairy I get cramps/pains and an arse explosion too. I had to explain this over and over again, and had to endure people trying to get one over on me (I suffered later)

Bit different but I'm severely allergic to dogs and am sick of dog owners (who know) letting their dogs bound up to me while shouting 'oh sorry he's just being friendly! '. I feel like such a nobber jumping out the way and the owners get all touchy about it. I'm tempted to say 'your dog is lovely but I'm not a fan of my wind pipe closing and my head blowing up like a balloon ta.' Aaaargh!

Bread = completely over-rated as a foodstuff. Originally evolved as a cheap filler, surely ?
I felt loads better ( gut wise ) since switching to rye bread and rye crackers.
If you are ok with nuts and chocolate then Mrs Crimbles coconut macaroons are gorgeous. Half-coated with dark choc so you get a hit of anti-oxidants, and gluten-free. I'm not gluten-intolerant but I buy these coz I love 'em !
YANBU - your friends are toxic. What are they like about vegetarians ?