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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not go to or give a present for a 'Christening anniversary'...

110 replies

poldarkeranddarker · 10/03/2015 10:47

Some background: BIL and DH don't really get on but speak on the phone about once every month. They have one child who's 2 and a half.
BIL and SIL live about 3 hours away from us. We went to her Christening about two years ago but haven't seen any of them since. We send them all presents every Xmas and get their DD a present for her birthday as well.

Now BIL and SIL have sent us an invitation to a 'Christening Anniversary' for their DD which is basically a party to commemorate when their daughter was Christened.

I've never heard of one of these anniversaries.

We haven't replied yet but DH spoke to MIL last night and she thinks we're BVU to not go and not send a present.

What the actual fuck?

AIBU to think you can't just invent random occasions and expect people to rock up bearing gifts?!

OP posts:
FarFromAnyRoad · 10/03/2015 10:49

Please please - play no part in validating this nonsense! I can't conceive of the mind that would think this a good idea - wtaf are they thinking of? Who else has been invited?

MajesticWhine · 10/03/2015 10:51

Very odd. Never heard of it. If you want to see them anyway, and drink some of their booze, then you could go. But otherwise, no YANBU.

TheMoa · 10/03/2015 10:52

Grin I guess some people love parties! It's a bit odd that they invited you though.

Are they very religious?

Our church has a party once a year for all those baptised in the previous 12 months, perhaps your in laws are doing a similar thing instead of birthdays... or something?

MaxPepsi · 10/03/2015 10:52

Are they religious?

If so and this is something important in their church circle then I'd go/send a present.

If not and it's just an excuse to be grabby I'd have something else on that day and possibly send a card with a fiver in it!

Bue · 10/03/2015 10:53

A christening anniversary is not A Thing.

Idontseeanysontarans · 10/03/2015 10:53

YANBU to not want to go, it sounds ridiculous BUT...
I would half want to go just to see what fresh hell a christening anniversary party actually is and what goes on at one...

WindYourBobbinUp · 10/03/2015 10:54

Is a christening anniversary a thing now? Never heard of one but have only been to one christening. Sounds a bit grabby to me. Someone told me they were having a 6 month birthday party recently
Maybe I'm old and miserable but if you have parties / buy gifts (and yes I know you don't have to but can't really not in close family situations) for all this extra stuff it gets a bit ridiculous

Mousefinkle · 10/03/2015 10:59

I've never, in my life ever, heard of a Christening anniversary. As if the actual christening isn't bad enough...

Do not partake, it's utter nonsense. If they want to make up a celebration then let them but nobody else should be forced to take part. You don't buy presents for other people's wedding anniversaries do you? Same thing except there are NO cards marketed at 'christening anniversaries' because it isn't real.

Contraryish · 10/03/2015 11:00

The only way I could consider this reasonable is if the christening was in summer and the actual birthday in the depths of winter, then they can celebrate in the nice weather instead, but not as well as the birthday!

ImperialBlether · 10/03/2015 11:01

Do they send you presents for birthdays and Christmases too?

Don't indulge them with the Christening anniversary.

ImperialBlether · 10/03/2015 11:01

In fact tell them YOU are having a Christening Anniversary that weekend and won't be able to attend.

championnibbler · 10/03/2015 11:02

Religious or grabby?
either way - i would ignore these numnuts.

Original poster
poldarkeranddarker · 10/03/2015 11:05

No they're not particularly religious although the card did say 'We invite you to celebrate the anniversary of DD being welcomed into God's family'

SIL and BIL were Christened but BIL doesn't believe in God, don't know SIL's views on the matter. SIL was Christened a Catholic and wanted to get married in a Catholic church so BIL had to do Catholic evening classes Hmm

This seems like grabby for their PFB to me but MIL is taking it dead seriously which made me wonder if I was BU

OP posts:
iklboo · 10/03/2015 11:05

I'm having a Day I Bought These Shoes anniversary. Y'all have to come & bring me a present.

Next week it's my Day I Did That Smelly Trump In John Lewis And Blamed It On DH anniversary. Save the date.

fuddleduck · 10/03/2015 11:06

I wouldn't go. I have been to a lot of Christenings and NEVER heard of this. If people want a party, why can't they just have a party? Why do they need to invent an occassion?

Original poster
poldarkeranddarker · 10/03/2015 11:08

Imperial Me and DH get a present for Xmas but no birthdays, which is fine. We don't have DC

OP posts:
Idontseeanysontarans · 10/03/2015 11:08

You can buy christening anniversary cards Shock this is a Thing by the looks of it... Seems to be a fairly strictly Catholic thing tbh and a lot of the links I found were American based but I bet this will be the next big thing to take off (not because I'm blaming Americans before anyone jumps on me, more that it's another excuse for a party and gifts).

BikeRunSki · 10/03/2015 11:09

Grabby and bonkers in the extreme.

Original poster
poldarkeranddarker · 10/03/2015 11:12

iklboo They actually sound like quite good anniversaries. Let's all head to JL and fart in enclosed spaces in honour of you and your DH

OP posts:
JADS · 10/03/2015 11:13

I'm going to be vaguely charitable here. Could it be they just want to have a party and thought this might be a good idea? Do all their birthdays fall in the winter? If they had just called this a family party would go?

However it is not a thing and no present is required

Ohfourfoxache · 10/03/2015 11:13

Please go and report back Grin

Never heard of this, but it sounds ridiculous.

MajesticWhine · 10/03/2015 11:15

I have farted copiously in Waitrose. It's the same thing right? Blamed it on toddler. Can we have a joint party?

guinnessgirl · 10/03/2015 11:15

YANBU. Ridiculous idea and a transparent attempt to get gifts! Hmm

elliejjtiny · 10/03/2015 11:19

It's ridiculous. But I think you should go and then make up an even more ridiculous anniversary and invite them.

playftseforme · 10/03/2015 11:28

I'm Catholic, DCs are baptised Catholics and used to attend a catholic school. Never heard of a christening anniversary party. We obviously renew our baptism once a year any way, but it's not a party worthy event in that sense...