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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH, night shift and cheese...

123 replies

WyldChyld · 09/03/2015 19:44

DH is back on nights tonight and so is pretty grumpy (this is normal, he's aware of it and works hard to try not to be grumpy with me). We did a big shop this weekend with food which is supposed to last the two of us for one month as we're on a budget. Part of this food budget was cheese - 2 packs of 12 slices of gouda (or something like that), a big block of cheddar and some other assorted bits. I like cheese but DH really likes cheese.

I've just found out that out of the 24 slices of cheese, he has eaten 14. This includes 4 slices which he has taken for his supper tonight in sandwich form, 4 in cheese sandwiches late last night after I'd gone to bed because he was hungry, 2 maybe in some sandwiches today and because the others he was "picky-eating". I've gone mental about it - he's eaten two weeks worth of the damned cheese, and it's one that I actually like!!

I brought this up and was irritated with him, asking him how the hell did he eat it and why didn't he just have toast etc if he was hungry. He got angry that I had told him up ten minutes before he went to work and has ended up going off in a huff. He's gonna feel horrible tomorrow and be very remorseful, but I'm really upset that he's grumpy now and angry that he ate my damned cheese!

He is generally a really good husband, not normally greedy, pulls his weight around the house etc. I just wanted to know what you think - should I have not nagged him before he went to work? I just don't see a) why I should have to tell a grown man NOT to eat two weeks worth of cheese in one day, and b) why I shouldn't tell him what he's done is wrong just because he's going to work??

OP posts:
MissMuesli · 09/03/2015 20:03

It is alot but I don't think it warranted the massive row. I do get annoyed when my BF picks at things that are meant to last but it only takes a conversation. And the conversation should have waited until after work imo.

ClassicTron · 09/03/2015 20:04

Youmakemydreams - what is cheaper that he should have had instead? Genuine question, I can't think of anything with the same sort of food value that would be cheaper. Buying cheaper cheese, not ready sliced gouda, would be a solution.

googoodolly · 09/03/2015 20:05

If you're that broke, why are you buying overpriced sliced cheese? A block from the deli counter is cheaper and more substantial.

If DP told me off for eating food in our fridge, he'd be promptly told to fuck off.

Mamafratelli · 09/03/2015 20:06

Gouda God Yabu.

CoffeeBeanie · 09/03/2015 20:07

When your future dc hit the teenage years, put a lock on the fridge. 2 packs of cheese last 4 days in this house.
My son has a habit of eating a cheese toasty 2 hours after dinner.
Every night. He's underweight so I let him.
Relax OP. Surely 24 slices isn't enough for 2 weeks if you both love cheese.

geekymommy · 09/03/2015 20:07

Is his name Wallace, and do you have a dog named Gromit? Wink

Can you budget some extra for some more cheese?

frankie001 · 09/03/2015 20:08

He should be more Caerphilly with it.

TendonQueen · 09/03/2015 20:09

Isn't cheese the most shoplifted item from supermarkets these days, because it's so expensive? So something to use carefully. I don't think your shopping was particularly effective - you bought expensive cheese. However, anyone who eats a third of the pack each time is aware they're eating their share and some of yours too. So not fair. Next time have a pack each and then when yours is gone, it's gone.

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 09/03/2015 20:09

Cheesus christ.

Nah yabu, sorry!

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 09/03/2015 20:09

Sliced Gouda?! Buying a block of Gouda would be much, much cheaper! You could probably have had double the amount for the same price.
I understand that it's irritating, I would be mildly irritated if we had just done the food shopping and DH ate it all straight away. I wouldn't argue about it or dwell on it think. It's cheese.

hellospring · 09/03/2015 20:11

Oh dear. Why don't you just buy a big block of the stuff?

SauvignonBlanche · 09/03/2015 20:12

YABU, packs of pre-sliced Gouda are not suitable on a tight budget.
Night shifts are horrible.

Original poster
WyldChyld · 09/03/2015 20:12

Just to clarify a couple of things - we bought the cheese but I also bought ham, made coronation chicken and there's things for egg mayo, tuna mayo and some sliced turkey. I wouldn't mind if he'd been hungry and eaten at all - it was the fact that he ate so much cheese which annoyed me, particularly as he wasn't hungry, just being greedy (and said so!) Whilst we're not on a very very tight budget, we're on a budget enough that I bought (what I thought was) sufficient cheese to last us - then we could have a mixture of cheese and other stuff for both meals and sandwiches.

I didn't particularly pick an argument - I asked how on earth he'd eaten so much cheese, and why hadn't he had toast etc? He was the one who blew up and shouted at me for "nagging".

He's starting nights tonight so wasn't on nights last night so I'm not sure we can blame the night munchies yet!

Maybe I am being unreasonable - I just never thought that it would be reasonable for a man to eat 14 slices of cheese on top of his dinner, a piece of cake, crisps and all the other stuff! Also, re the grumpy comment - quite possibly - it's been a long day and a massive rush.

OP posts:
kelda · 09/03/2015 20:15

Yabu. It sounds like you really don't understand how nightshifts mess up your body and appetite. He didn't eat the whole packet. It was really quite selfish of you to stress him out just before he went to work.

You say he's working hard not to be grumpy when on night shifts - I think you should start looking at your own behaviour.

If you are having problems budgeting you need to sit down with him calmly, and blamelessly, work it out.

DecaffTastesWeird · 09/03/2015 20:15

Sorry if this has been mentioned already (and, actually might not really be the point of the thread but hey ho)! Wouldn't it be cheaper to buy a lump of Gouda? I bet nobody would snarf it down quite so quickly either if it was in lump form. Y might be being a little bit U btw. It's only cheese. DH might need it to get through night shifts.

Original poster
WyldChyld · 09/03/2015 20:16

And yes, big blocks would have probably been cheaper but I couldn't get any, it was sliced or nothing and DH said he'd like some (as did I). Also, I tend to find if I buy a huge block of cheese, DH will eat more- it makes him ill (stomach problems) in large amounts, so as we both agreed, I'd buy less and he'd eat less. Hence why I was particularly irritated!

OP posts:
MumToFourCats · 09/03/2015 20:17

Slightly hormonal, OP?

It's cheese not worth a fight over. And never have an argument before he/or you go to work!

He's on night work. Probably tired as you can't get a good sleep during the day as people living around you are doing daytime things which can be noisy.

Cut him some slack. He probably ate the sliced cheese as it's marginally easier than cutting a slice off the big block.

If I were you I would be texting to say "sorry, I over reacted" or better still phoning him (if he can take phone calls) because in my eyes he's not in the wrong here. :)

Original poster
WyldChyld · 09/03/2015 20:17

Kelda - he ate the entirety of one packet and part of the second. I do understand how stressful they are - I didn't mean to sound naggy, I was just blown away!

OP posts:
EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 09/03/2015 20:17

Sliced cheese is no more expensive than a block unless you buy the cheapest, most tasteless value mild cheddar. Sliced Gouda is one of the cheapest cheeses you can buy, especially if you buy that creamfields stuff. About £5 per kilo. Yes I do spend time comparing £ per kilo prices. What?

kewtogetin · 09/03/2015 20:18

You've obviously made your mind up and decided YANBU hence the further drip feeding of information.
You were a nag and patronising to boot, questioning a grown man on his eating habits and asking 'why didn't you have toast instead' blah blah blah and on top of that you bang on about it right before he's about to go and work a night shift which I'm pretty sure he's not looking forward to. YABU however way you are trying to portray yourself.

ChipDip · 09/03/2015 20:19

Funny that you didn't mention In your post the reason you were particularly irritated was in case he go illHmm

ChipDip · 09/03/2015 20:19

Got

AlternativeTentacles · 09/03/2015 20:19

He didn't eat the whole packet.

He did. He ate one whole packet of 12 and then opened the next one and had two slices from that.

2 packs of 12 slices of gouda

googoodolly · 09/03/2015 20:19

I assume he didn't have toast because he fancied cheese?

If it's such a big deal, buy separate food and have separate shelves in the fridge - once his is gone, hard cheese!

kelda · 09/03/2015 20:20

You say now that you sounded naggy but I think your first post describing yourself as going 'mental' is closer to the truth.

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