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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is rude to constantly check your mobile phone when out with friends/family?

55 replies

angelos02 · 09/03/2015 15:47

Just that really. None of my friends do it, maybe just when pop to the loo but just had a night out with friends of a friend and they all had their mobiles on the table. Just...why? Fair enough if checking on babysitter or something very important but they seemed to be just checking for texts/facebook updates.

OP posts:
Qwebec · 09/03/2015 15:55

YANBU

it's v rude

Hygellig · 09/03/2015 16:03

YANBU - I think it's rude as well. If you're meeting up with friends and family surely it's better to give them your full attention and enjoy being together and check your phone at another time.

FaFoutis · 09/03/2015 16:05

YANBU. Very rude.

pilates · 09/03/2015 16:05

YANBU

pinkyredrose · 09/03/2015 16:06

YANBU! It's infuriating if I'm trying to talk to someone and they're more interested in thier phone. I wonder why some people bother to go out at all if all they want to do is stare at their phones.

ilovechristmas1 · 09/03/2015 16:06

YANBU this always happened every time my friend and i went out,talking for 20mins each time 3-4 times a night,i wont go out with her now as was every time we went out (boyfriend)

i have told her

Perfectlypurple · 09/03/2015 16:08

Yanbu. It's rude. I treated a friend to an expensive spa day and lunch for her birthday but went over what I normally would because she had a tough time. She wouldn't do most of the stuff included in the day and all through lunch she kept going off to make phone calls. It actually really upset me.

StrawberryCheese · 09/03/2015 16:08

Yanbu. I have one friend who does this. If I am waiting for her I may have my phone out in case she calls but when she arrives I put it away. Friend on the other hand gets her phone out and it sits on the table (even if we're in a nice restaurant). Her DH has been known to text several times and attempt to call even though he knows where she is Hmm

exmrs · 09/03/2015 16:08

This is my pet hate!
I have actually seen A group of ladies all sat together at a table for over half hour all just checking their phones instead of talking in a group where they had met up.
I think it's rude

Another pet hate is mums/dads constantly on their phone whilst sat whilst their child playing football or swimming and the kid keeps looking over saying did you see that ? And the parent doesn't even move their eyes off the precious phone to give an uninterested response.

I think technology is making people more anti social

Perfectlypurple · 09/03/2015 16:10

Also, when I am out I don't check my phone unless still waiting for someone to turn up. Once everyone is there i don't look at it even if my phone vibrates in my pocket. I may check it when I pop to the loo though.

expatinscotland · 09/03/2015 16:12

YANBU

finnbarrcar · 09/03/2015 16:13

I was at a ladies night on Friday and every single person did this. I never would normally do it, but I was so bored and pissed off with the "company" that I ended up noodling around texting my DD whom I hadn't seen all day.

It's a shitty, anti social way to behave. I ended up leaving early.

Sallygoroundthemoon · 09/03/2015 16:13

I am not sure what is annoying me more - the use of phones (YANBU) or MNers insistence that 'whilst sat' is ok to use. Ffs it is 'sitting'.

Original poster
angelos02 · 09/03/2015 16:15

I don't know whether people think it makes them look popular? To me it just looks very needy.

OP posts:
BreeVDKamp · 09/03/2015 16:19

Wow a unanimous YANBU! I am adding one to the pile.

exmrs · 09/03/2015 16:21

Sally, people who point out other people's grammar mistakes are also rude , grammar mistakes aren't intentional or rude and dont affect anyone, but someone pointing them out to try and embarrass someone is rude

FourFlapjacksPlease · 09/03/2015 16:23

I think it depends on the situation. I am self employed and need to check my e-mail regularly for work purposes. I'd say i discretely look at my phone every hour or 2, even when out (I usually keep it in my bag and just have a subtle rummage in my bag to check!) I don't sit on Facebook etc, but check if a job has come in or if I have any client issues I need to respond to. DH is the same.

As far as watching my kids swim/play football/do karate etc etc. I have no intention of spending all my time watching their every move. I often use the time to work (on my phone) and much as i adore them, I'm just not interested in watching them jump in the pool etc for the zillionth time. I'm sure they will survive without me ooh-ing and aah-ing over their every move.

Clockingoff · 09/03/2015 16:38

Sally you are very rude.

OP YANBU. It drives me mad when people are constantly checking their phone, answering texts, popping outside to return a call etc etc etc. Why don't they just stay at home, if they can't be bothered engaging with the people they came out to meet.

Original poster
angelos02 · 09/03/2015 16:41

What also infuriates me is when people tell you the message someone has sent them - interrupting the flow of the conversation. It is something of no interest 99% of the time.

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 09/03/2015 16:43

YANBU very rude but sometimes people do this without noticing or I had a friend who had to have her Blackberry on out of hours for work... she had to be on call. She changed jobs though after a while.

And if it discreet say if someone goes to the toilet then it doesn't matter then.

CharityD · 09/03/2015 16:50

YANBU, a friend of mine is always at the beck and call of her phone, checking for texts, answering calls, while out for a meal or a drink. It is rude, IMO.

base9 · 09/03/2015 16:52

Yanbu

expatinscotland · 09/03/2015 17:08

Why go out with someone who does this? Every time they look at the phone, they're telling you they prefer someone else's company to yours.

I worked for a woman who came in to tell me, her secretary, she was going to meet a friend at Cafe Nero, be back in an hour or so. Okay. She came storming back in about 15 minutes later (cafe was round the corner), absolutely raging.

Friend had met her, took out phone, placed it on table. My boss went to get drinks. Friend was on phone when my boss got back to the table. Friend briefly got off phone, only to text and then take another personal call.

My boss got up and left.

lessthanBeau · 09/03/2015 17:12

yanbu, its very rude, I have my phone out on nights out only to take pics of our drunken shenanigans. I once went on a day out with someone who sat reading the daily mail on her phone while the kids played in the parks, I thought she was dealing with work stuff, which I would totally understand, but turned out she was actually just being really bad mannered.

CharityD · 09/03/2015 17:34

I don't bother meeting her much anymore. I used to enjoy her company, and wouldn't have thought her to be a rude person, before she had a mobile phone, but after sitting once too often, while she read messages or took random calls, I don't do that anymore.