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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it is rude to constantly check your mobile phone when out with friends/family?

55 replies

angelos02 · 09/03/2015 15:47

Just that really. None of my friends do it, maybe just when pop to the loo but just had a night out with friends of a friend and they all had their mobiles on the table. Just...why? Fair enough if checking on babysitter or something very important but they seemed to be just checking for texts/facebook updates.

OP posts:
kitnkaboodle · 09/03/2015 18:05

YANBU. I think I may have to bid farewell to a childhood friend because of this. Sad it's had me in (secret) tears of frustration

Charlotte3333 · 09/03/2015 18:08

I hate it. DS1 has a phone for school he occasionally takes out with us but in restaurants/at gatherings he knows better than to risk playing on it. It's rude and interrupts conversation.

Nomama · 09/03/2015 18:28

I feel so old reading these threads.

I went out for a girl's night out/pre-leaving do on Saturday. Took my phone so DH could come and get me when I had had enough! So I did have my phone... in my bag.

About 4 women were on their phones constantly... one looked up and said something like it was sad I was going, she would miss me... sadly I already had my coat on and left as she was mid sentence.

About 5 women came with me, giggling, one said she wished she had had her phone in her hand to take a picture. Phone woman seems to have texted / facebooked /tweeted about me being really rude, or so I was told today. I explained why and the colleague I was talking to looked blank and asked me why I had done that?

YANBU... it is bloody rude and really effin irritating! I doubt I will ever understand what the point of it is.

GoldenBeaches · 09/03/2015 18:45

My mum does this...she will take photos of us at the meal on her phone, post it to fakebook and then keep checking for comments and likes instead of enjoying her families company. We all just roll our eyes and carry on chatting as we are used to it.

BoyScout · 09/03/2015 19:46

But fourflapjacks why do you have to be monitoring work when you're out socialising? Do you not give yourself any time off?

FourFlapjacksPlease · 09/03/2015 20:32

boyscout - because I'm freelance I am often able to socialise at times lots of other people might be working. Sometimes I'll arrange lunch with a friend who works part time or visit a SAHM friend for the day, these are times that my clients are in their office and likely to e-mail me. I also have to deal with contacts overseas which sometimes eats into my evenings. I'm less likely to check my phone on a Friday/Saturday night but the rest of the time is fair game on the work front. I don't think I'm rude about it though and my friends know I need to be contactable. I love my friends and am focused on them 99% of the time. I just have to keep an eye on my inbox.

MumToFourCats · 09/03/2015 20:42

Maybe it's more important to be seen on facebook to be (at places) (with people) than it is to actually chat with the people you're actually socialising with .

Hmm
pepperfish · 09/03/2015 22:01

Yes!!! YANBU!! I can't stand this obsession with checking phones in public every 5 mins, and I find it incredibly rude when people answer their phones or start texting someone else halfway through our conversation! If I'm out with a friend, it stays in my bag. If I get a call, I silence it and call that person back later.

The worst part though, is I often get moaned at for not having my phone on me enough and 'never answering'. I really hate that I am expected to be a slave to my mobile phone just like everyone else. Drives me nuts.

Original poster
angelos02 · 10/03/2015 09:42

I am also sick of seeing women with this new thing of having their handbag hooked in the crook of their arm and carrying their mobile phone in the other hand. Saw dozens of women doing this while staring out of the bus this morning. What are they waiting for?

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 10/03/2015 09:50

OK on a slightly different tangent but what do you make of people who take pics of their food/drink and Instagram it/Whatsapp it to everyone?

I've got a friend who does this and well its not overly rude but I just think why? Especially when it's sometimes the same dish...

CaptainAnkles · 10/03/2015 09:59

Being on a phone constantly at the expense of interaction between actual humans is not good. Occasionally looking at the time or reading or replying to a message, not a problem.

In a situation where there's someone loudly commenting on it, 'Oh look, all the kids have their heads buried in their phones, it's so antisocial' etc they end up coming across as far ruder than the people using their phones tbh.

Clockingoff · 10/03/2015 10:00

There's something a bit empty headed about people who are never, ever off Facebook and Twitter and can't go for five minutes without checking their texts.

notnaice · 10/03/2015 10:08

It's really rude. They are prioritising themselves and others over you. It's as bad and selfish as people who are always late, as their time is more important than yours.

Samcro · 10/03/2015 10:12

yanbu I knew someone who always did that. surprise surprise she was only half listening to the conversation one day, got it all wrong, then blamed us!!

Mousefinkle · 10/03/2015 11:09

Yanbu. This happened to me once with my best friend. He's never taken much of an interest in phones or, really, in social media so it took me by complete surprise when one night he was pretty much constantly on the damn contraption. I felt ignored, it was rude and horrible. So I told him how I felt and he apologised and didn't do it again Grin.

I love my phone but I only really check it when the other person has gone to order drinks or to the toilet, I feel rude having it out when they're sat there. Yet I see so many people out with their phones glued to their faces.

I think this is how the world is going tbh. I said to DH that either when our DC grow up or maybe their DC we'll all communicate solely through phones, we won't speak at all. Probably meet up wearing those funny glasses and type to one another the whole time.

Original poster
angelos02 · 10/03/2015 11:26

I think this is how the world is going tbh. I agree and I think it is sad. I use mine but only to arrange meeting friends or family. Can't think what else people use theirs for....oh no, wait, I do know...it is for boring bollocks like 'I've just had a massive dinner and I'm stuffed LOL'. Tragic

OP posts:
EddieStobbart · 10/03/2015 11:27

When DD is swimming I sit with my phone - am usually reading a book via the Kindle app, reading the news or MNing. If I didn't have my phone with me I'd have a book or a paper so it replaces that. Not on Facebook, Twitter etc.

Agree it's rude to constantly do it when socialising.

Shodan · 10/03/2015 11:32

DH recently had a little rant to me about how smartphones were making people rude and unsociable. Then he got one and hey presto! Football/golf/rugby results available 24/7.

The crunch came when we went to New York recently. He wanted very much to go to a particular restaurant the evening we arrived, so although I was tired and wanted just to grab a quick snack and crash in our room I agreed to go.

We sat down at the table and within two minutes his phone was out and he was looking at the football results. What followed was one of those hissed brief arguments resulting in a sheepish DH putting his phone away.

LunaMay · 10/03/2015 11:44

I hate this! My mother and sisters used to be really bad with constantly being on their phones while we were together. I found it rude and it would upset me even more if they started texting while i was in the middle of a conversation with them and then they'd expect me to repeat myself.

In the end i just stopped talking as soon as the phones came out, did my own thing. If we were talking and they started txting/playing games i'd stop and say obviously thats more important and i wouldnt speak again lol They finally got the hint.

As for eating out, i introduced them to the whole phones in the middle of the table, first one to touch theirs pays. I dont think id ever really insist on them paying but it works!

farewellfigure · 10/03/2015 13:27

If DH takes out his phone while I'm talking I stop mid-sentence and say I'll carry on when he's finished. He quickly gets the hint and hasn't done it for a while. Half the time I don't think people even realise they are doing it, it's become second nature. A reminder usually does the trick.

It's called 'phubbing' by the way as in 'phone snubbing'. Very rude.

Behindthepaintedgarden · 10/03/2015 14:11

I think there needs to be a whole etiquette drawn up around mobile phones nowadays. Between people texting and facebooking when they're out with friends, people shouting into mobiles on public transport, and people's mobiles constantly dinging and pinging and singing in shared offices, a general reminder of how rude and inconsiderate some of this behaviour is would be welcome.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/03/2015 14:20

I've learned to dread the comment "I'm just ..." (checking this, sending a quick message, etc)

IME it tends to mean "I fully intend to spend the whole evening on my mobile, but it will look better if I say this first" Hmm

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 10/03/2015 14:25

It is rude without reason, I know people whoses phones seem superguled to their hands. However, over the past couple of years I've had family problems and illnesses that means my phone always seems to be going off. I do apologise and explain to people why I need my phone out. One friend of my partner still likes to call me rude and anti social behind my back. Guess it really winds some people up whatever the reason.

biggles50 · 10/03/2015 21:34

Yanbu it's so rude. In fact an ex friend of mine once spent an entire car journey of about an hour chatting to another friend on her phone. I felt like a chauffeur as she talked and talked to the other person. I won't speak to my kidults unless their face is out of the phone.

Hygellig · 10/03/2015 21:43

EddieStobbart - how do you manage to use your phone when watching your DD swimming? At my local leisure centre pool phones are banned in the spectator area, as they are at the high school pool where DS has his swimming lessons - I'm not even allowed to read my Kindle!