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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my next door neighbour's imitation is not flattering but sinister?

102 replies

BorisBrushe · 08/03/2015 09:41

I have nc for obvious reasons cue chicken noises

A brief bit if background(I'll try). We had next door neighbours move in about two years ago. They were very different to our previous neighbours who were eldery and very quiet. Having been burnt before by previous neighbours who took advantage when I got friendly and close to them- dropping their kids off regularly when I said I was busy etc, borrowing stuff and not returning it- I have ever since remained civil and friendly with neighbours but kept it at that.

The mum was very chatty, it was a wreck of a house that they were remodeling and she’d tell me snippets whilst we got kids into our houses from school etc- She kept asking me for my opinion and questions like where I’d gotten my curtains from, and wallpaper in the bedroom she could see when it was night time and she had driven past etc.

A few weeks later I found out we had a mutual friend who was at my house for dinner and she had mentioned that my NDN was dying for an invite to my house, she wanted to see what we had done etc, which I found weird, I guess because I don’t want someone I live next door to me making like tricky like before-

Anyway, I started to get pissed off a few months ago when they had something done to the exterior of our house which is identical to ours, in fact she made a point of telling me hers cost a fortune and were custom made- then our mutual friend said NDN had seen a photo of children at a party at my house on social media (uploaded by my friend) and my NDN had mentioned liking some interior features of our home- NDN has done the exact same things to her lounge which are VERY unusual and very home made (out of necessity, we don’t have much spare cash so I make –bodge—most things- and I started to feel a bit uncomfortable -if I am honest, I shook it off and just told myself it didn’t matter until yesterday. She has bought a replica of my brand new car. I’ve never had a new car and it took me ages to choose it and get excited about owning something from new (took 7 years to save for it) NDN even has the same model and identical colour- everything- the same.

I KNOW this is going to seem like petty first world problems but having brushed so much off, thinking about it yesterday and going over stuff that’s happened over the last year she has, got her hair cut like mine, wears almost identical coats/scarfs- had her DS’s hair cut like mine/dressed like mine, bought a dog similar to ours and called it a name with one letter out- think Kookie/Kiki. It’s so weird and creepy and right here and constant reminder. I’m a grown woman- if it were anyone else I’d tell them to be flattered but I am feeling suffocated.

Can anyone kick my arse? DH thinks I shoud get a Mohawk and get the car covered in leopardskin vinyl and I have to say I am tempted.

OP posts:

finnbarrcar · 08/03/2015 10:09

My friend had a friend like this...it drove her bonkers. She got the ultimate revenge by buying one of those Rasta hats with fake dreadlocks and wore it apparently in all seriousness to a get-together at a mutual friend's house. The following week, guess who's sporting the same hat/wig combo. She confronted her and said something like "I just did that to see how low you would go with the copying". It stopped after that!

Original poster

BorisBrushe · 08/03/2015 10:10

Cundtbake, no I think it would make it worse, no?

Having a mutual friend is interesting- she's a bit cheeky, I know she likes challenging her but apparently all the ideas are hers, um........she just has the ideas two years before me, you know before she commits to a flasher more expensive version

OP posts:

flora717 · 08/03/2015 10:11

Seeking inspiration from a stylish and canny neighbour = OK.
Same car = ott.
The dog name (starting to hear the psycho noise).
The hair cut = protect local rabbits.
Definitely go for something too much (got a friend gradually improving a car? get it left stripped down and masked up for painting on the drive, say it's a new project, you're "pimping it up", excitedly imply you're going retro with an avacado bathroom suite, say you're artexing the walls).

MegaClutterSlut · 08/03/2015 10:13

This happened to my mil. Her ndn went out and bought the same front room furniture as her (sideboard, display cabinet, TV unit). When mil bought some lights and ornaments for her garden ndn went and bought the same ones and this is just the tip of the iceberg on the things she's copied. When I go round her ndn house it creeps me out I find it weird just how nearly identical her house is to mils.

CundtBake · 08/03/2015 10:13

I'm just wondering how it hasn't come up? If someone got the exact same car as me I'd be like 'oh haha nice car'

Or if they named their dog an almost identical name to mine I'd say 'oh haha that's really similar to our dog,

OddBodkins · 08/03/2015 10:15

I had a male friend who copied and then bettered everything I did, o started an exercise class, he joined and became the teacher, I started running, he ran faster and further, I trained to be a teacher, he did and went on and on about his latest lesson observations and how much responsibility he had. We parted company for several years, he found a great partner, became extremely successful and even a little bit famous in his chosen field and is now lovely!

The thing is he didn't live next door to me at the time! If he had I'd have been totally freaked out!

Dowser · 08/03/2015 10:34

Weird.

I hope you get it sorted OP. it's not nice.

Original poster

BorisBrushe · 08/03/2015 10:37

Dowser, short of amusing myself with some of these great suggestions- I'm not sure I will sort it. I have considered moving but I love my little house. Hope she latches onto someone else soon. I'm just going to be Missus Frost-Pants from now on. Seeing her drive makes me sick.

OP posts:

MrsMaker83 · 08/03/2015 10:40

Yanbu it is very frustrating. I would have some fun with it, and hopefully she will get the hint it needs to stop.

A colleague where i used to work used to copy my clothes (exactly the same items from same shops) and hairstyles/colours. She also used to try and imitate my make up too, i wear lots of heavy eye makeup and she looked comical with her wonky winged eyeliner especially as previously didn't wear so much as a coat of foundation!!

ahbollocks · 08/03/2015 10:44

Is your friend finding it a little bit funny do you think boris?
Or do you think she could encourage her to try new things or something-show her good housekeeping mag or similar?

SquinkiesRule · 08/03/2015 10:45

I think that you should let slip through mutual friend that you are doing some decorating, things like painting your bedroom black with red touches, and make available a picture of something wild. Let her make a fool of herself copying bizarre ideas you can come up with. Maybe you should think of getting the kids a pony.

Original poster

BorisBrushe · 08/03/2015 10:45

Ahbollocks our mutual friend is finding it very amusing yes. of course if it happened to her, she'd be raging! I suspect.

OP posts:

Original poster

BorisBrushe · 08/03/2015 10:47

Squinkies are you my husband? He suggested posting (with public viewing settings) photos of a very tasteful bondage room and parading it as ours.

Seriously, if my dh has noticed it MUST be a big deal.

OP posts:

EveBoswell · 08/03/2015 10:55

No one wants to copy me . What have I done wrong?

Enigmatist · 08/03/2015 10:56

Am I the only one who bloody loves the idea of a wreath made out of jelly babies and is now considering it for next Christmas?

Original poster

BorisBrushe · 08/03/2015 10:56

Careful what you wish for Eve.

OP posts:

MajesticWhine · 08/03/2015 10:59

It sounds like a psychological problem on her part, but really annoying and stifling for you. I like some of the ideas on here, but I think I would probably just try to ignore it as much as possible.

BitchBags · 08/03/2015 10:59

OP I think you should be really mean and get some of those fake car scratch stickers to make it look like your car has been keyed and moan about it really loudly. I bet she will cooy you!
Also get some really outrageous curtains from a charity shop and show them to her and tell her how much you love them to see if she copies. And tell her you have a new pet tarantula

MrsCosmopilite · 08/03/2015 11:00

Find some similar houses to yours online and post pics on fb of the wonderful decor. See how long it is before your neighbour has pink shagpile walls and leopard print ceilings.

ENormaSnob · 08/03/2015 11:00

I have a friend that copies me a lot. It fucking enrages me tbh.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 08/03/2015 11:05

One thing-pampas grass. Tell her you are getting a huge one. Then don't. You can have much childish snurkage.

madasa · 08/03/2015 11:06

Perhaps hire a different car every few weeks.....just changing it once she has bought the same model?

BlackNoSugar · 08/03/2015 11:07

Boris could you get some unusual but not-too-weird seat/steering wheel covers for your car? Like these. Similar to the Rasta hat/wig idea but a bit more subtle

MumToFourCats · 08/03/2015 11:07

I would have to say something. Tell her you're getting a new sofa and where you're getting it from, then ask if hers will be delivered the same day or later?
Then ask outright "why are you always copying what I do?"

Or put an estate agents board up pretend you're selling up and hope she does the same.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 08/03/2015 11:13

Seeing as your DH is up for messing with her........

Just to see how far they're willing to go.

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