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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask you when you met your partner?

79 replies

lostoldlogin · 07/03/2015 23:18

I'm 30 with a son who will be 4 next week. I'm generally happy, but I am single. Apparently I'm attractive and intelligent, have a good group of friends, I do sports, have a job etc etc.

But I can't seem to find a partner and having been not too worried about it for the last few years, now I'm worrying that I'll be alone forever. I know it sounds a bit over dramatic - but I do feel pretty lonely.

AIBU to ask when (and how!) you met your partner?

OP posts:

MrsGuyGarvey · 07/03/2015 23:21

I was 29 and in the middle of a divorce (no kids), I thought I was too old. I'm 46 and it makes me laugh to think that.

MrsTawdry · 07/03/2015 23:23

I was 29 and it was at work. I'm 42 now....and I think 30 is so young...you've ages OP. Do you get about much? Different places etc?

Meow75 · 07/03/2015 23:26

I was 11 and we were in the same English class. Didn't get together for another 7 yrs.

Original poster

lostoldlogin · 07/03/2015 23:26

kind of - but I guess I still don't go out very much (100% single mum if you know what I mean - father not involved at all).

Ah well. Perhaps I should just chill out. Hopefully it will happen soon!

OP posts:

BabyDubsEverywhere · 07/03/2015 23:28

I was 14, he was 16, drinking cider at the local park...
We didn't get together until 7 years later, (and had already married someone else!)

That's not helpful though - I don't recommend drinking cider at the park.

Most of my friends in recent (successful, so far) relationships have actually met through POF tbh. We are all late 20s/early 30s.

McFox · 07/03/2015 23:29

I was 34, happily single and definitely not looking for a husband. Almost 5 years later I have a wonderful husband and DS Don't give up, you have loads of time!

iklboo · 07/03/2015 23:29

Am dram group in 1999. We were friends before we got together as he had a girlfriend for a while. Then FWB.....now married 10 years.

iklboo · 07/03/2015 23:30

Sorry - I was 30, he was 22 when we met. 32 & 24 when we got together.

CointreauVersial · 07/03/2015 23:31

I was 27 and met DH at work when I was transferred to a new office.

SignoraStronza · 07/03/2015 23:32

I actually him when I was 17. After one marriage (his), one child and several years abroad (mine), we finally got it together when I was 30.
Is there anyone who might already be on your radar op?

flora717 · 07/03/2015 23:32

I was 35, looking to pack up sticks with my daughters and leave town. Fwb with his housemate. He was not looking. I wasn't really.
We are now married.

Needhelpwithadilemma · 07/03/2015 23:32

I was 22, and finding a husband was the last thing on my mind. Got married 5 years later.

This year, it will be 20 years since we met. The time has gone very fast!

MagratGarlik · 07/03/2015 23:33

Almost exactly the same as MrsGuyGarvey, except we met when I was 29, got together when I was 30 and I'm now a couple of months short of 42. We met at work.

craftysewer · 07/03/2015 23:34

I was 27, divorced and had started voluntary work as a Special Constable. He worked in the same police station. We celebrate our Silver Wedding Anniversary this year. I can remember crying to my mum, saying I would never meet anyone special.

Brummiegirl15 · 07/03/2015 23:34

I was 35 and I met him through a friend , they worked together but he'd been in a relationship for 19 years previously!! :-) he'd never married though and no dcs as she was an older woman.

He is the love of my life and I can't imagine life without him.

I don't mean to sound smug - I was single for 8 years before I met him and it made me feel so sad and alone at times. I had a couple of unsuitable flings whilst looking for the one which hurt even more so I literally have up and enjoyed my life and got on with it. Then I met DP.

All I'm saying is, never give up because you have no idea what is happening in someone else's life that means their life will collide with yours

Ludoole · 07/03/2015 23:34

I met mine at 18, he was my best friend. Although we didnt get together in a relationship until i was 29.

foreverton · 07/03/2015 23:36

Met in 1998 at the local pub quiz but we were just friends, several weeks later at the same quiz I met my ex dp who I was with For 7 years and had ds with.
Ended up going out with the first one 8 years ago, been together ever since and are engaged with 4 year old dd.

I knew I was meant to be with him:)

Original poster

lostoldlogin · 07/03/2015 23:38

yes there is POSSIBLY someone on my radar but it is very very very tentative and I have not seen him in some time (over a year). Oh. And we live in different countries! So who knows. Might just be a nice fantasy will only know if we meet up which may or may not happen.

I'm going to keep fingers crossed and hope for the best. I have never worried about being single before. All of a sudden in the last few months I have started to feel the loneliness.

OP posts:

avocadotoast · 07/03/2015 23:39

I was 14, he was 16. Friend of a friend situation.

We were together on and off for a couple of years, then it ended. We stayed friends. Got together for good 8 years on from there, and now 4 years later we're married and have a baby on the way

Offler · 07/03/2015 23:39

I was 19, he was 29, we were at university together. 21 years this year and 2 children (8 & 2.5).

calculatorsatdawn · 07/03/2015 23:41

I split up with a fiancée when I was 28 because it was ok but not brilliant and thought at best we would limp on for a few years but never really excite each other. Cue next three years wondering if it was the roght decision. At 31 I got a new job and met dp. Wasn't expecting it but he rocked my world, we're two slightly odd little idiots that absolutely get each other. We moved in together a couple of months ago and it's awesome. This probably sounds a bit bellendy but I think the best thing to do is keep doing what you're doing, do things you love and enjoy yourself and when you least expect ityoyou'll cross paths with someone who likes what you like. (That said I did internet dating for a while and met some really cool men that way a couple of which we didn't fancy each other but kept in touch as friends)

trashcanjunkie · 07/03/2015 23:41

I met my lovely partner four years ago, and it's our three year anniversary of getting together on the 17th of this month. I'm 37 and he's 41. I have three dcs, one who's 18 and doesn't live at home and twins who're ten. He has no children, a good job, all the things I never believed possible. He is amazing with my children, and I thank my lucky bloody stars every day. We are planning to get married in the next couple of years.

I was single pretty much from the time I fell pregnant with the twins and until they were seven and I got together with my dp.

We met through mutual friends, and I fancied him from the word go, but I was determined not to make any moves, and consequently waited eight months before anything happened, but when it did, he didn't muck about, and asked me straightaway if I wanted to be his girlfriend. We dated for three months before he met the dcs, and then slowly slowly he became an integral part of their lives. He's an excellent step daddy, and feels privileged to have the boys in his life. He takes them to town monthly to buy comics and do boy stuff together, and reads them sci fi and fantasy stories most nights. He trains one in Thai boxing, and paints war hammer minituares with the other.

My point is op, that there are some incredible men out there. Please don't let loneliness make you settle for anything less than you and your dc deserve! And you will get one

disneymum3 · 07/03/2015 23:46

I was 15 he was friends with my brother.
We got together when I turned 16.

AmyElliotDunne · 07/03/2015 23:53

I was 38, divorced (well nearly!) with 3 DCs. My ex had told me that nobody would want an overweight nearly 40 y/o mum of three, but turns out he was wrong and my DP loves me to bits!

Met him online, he lives about 20 mins away but works about 5 mins from my house so I see lots of him, been with him 2.5 years and I'm the happiest I've ever been.

Now we've got the baby phase well out out of the way with our previous partners we can concentrate on being a couple rather than mum and dad, so our relationship is a lot more fun and carefree than my previous marriage.

Highly recommended!

Deedeecupcake · 07/03/2015 23:54

When I was 17 and he was 18. Didn't get together until a few months afterwards though as I thought I had found someone more interesting ??????

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