to hate dp right now

[GingerCuddleMonster]

my blood is boiling

DP works away Mon-fri, we have a nearly 7mo DS 2 night shifts a week is all I ask of him Fri and Sat that's all.....well tonight he got all mardy when baby woke for the first time at 4:30 am which is exceptionally good for DS this week then DS has a bit of a coughing fit and vomits his entire feed up then begins the crying on off for 2ish hours as he is unsettled (ds is fine he does this occasionally) next minute DP gets all moody and mardy, hands me the baby and says "in too tired for this" .

I seeth quietly to myself , take DS from him and retire to the living room, DS is now asleep in my arms .

he is too tired?!?! is he fucking kidding me?!?! I work A 40hour week and he's done fuck all this week except physio and some administrative work. Probably 12hours max work, also has had 8 hours undisturbed sleep every night since Sunday night!! .

I just want to scream and shout at him, but I won't I'll just sit here and sulk .

Your partner was up for over two hours with the baby. He then passes to you, at the fairly civilised time of 6.30am.

I think that is reasonable and YABU seething with rage.

Have a and I suggest that in the not too distant future you wake up DP to take the baby and you head back to bed! And it might help to add a quick ' I'm too tired for this as you do so'

In all honesty though he's behaving like an arse! Hope you're getting some nice cuddles to make up for it

I didn't read it as being up for 2 hours before handing baby over?? However as I'm up and have been since 5am, after not getting to bed until 1am after dh came in from night out and woke the children I am in completely sympathy for you op!

Yeah enjoy and during the week I was up for 8 hours with a crying baby had nobody to hand to, then went to work at 8am and worked a full 9.5 hour shift...I have no sympathy for 2 hours of it...

If he was here constantly I'd understand, but he's not. I feel like driving him back to camp and leaving him there. .

Hang on a minute! She's done every night this week! YANBU to expect a night off OP.

I couldn't understand from your post which he's working though - a full week from Monday - Friday (staying elsewhere?), or just 12 hours?

He handed over at 6 30

In my mind, that's the night shift over.

on and off crying is sleep for 30mins cry for 5 sleep for 20mins cry for 5, it's managable.

Ps I think sleep and who is more tired is the single only issue which causes arguments in our house!! Its a constant battle but I don't think thats uncommon, especially in two parent working households.

he's in the forces, they've been on down time this week, but needed to stay at camp. He's done no "army" stuff this week, just paper work on 2 days and going to the gym and the physio for 2 hours.

When you have calmed down have a chat with your DP and tell him what your week has been like and that you would appreciate his help.

With work, etc it's not a competition as to who is the most tired but you need to tell him calmly why he needs to step up if he can't work it out for himself.

kitty placed back in the cot between waking to cry. Cuddle shushing and dummy he drifts back off.

I'm sorry all I'm just so upset, I'm up daily at 5am to get ready to work, get baby fed dressed and ready for nursery/family members. I just wanted one day to sleep in past the early hours that's all .

I agree with wow fudge, it's not a competition ,it needs a discussion later on

No you're not being unreasonable. What's this "the nightshift is over" bollocks. If it were the other way round does she get to hand the baby over at 6:30?

Have a from me. My DH was shit with this stuff too so I know how you feel. I only work part time and I still found it really hard dealing with it all. You are doing an amazing job.

I think it's understandable you're upset. You must be shattered and sleep deprivation does awful things to you. Wait until he wakes then pass the baby back and tell him you need to catch up on sleep. When you wake and are feeling calmer see if you can explain to him why you're so very tired at the weekends and see if he can help think of a solution to catch up at the weekend. Present it as a problem that you need his help to fix.

You have been working all week and looking after the baby so YANBU.

Hope he steps up for the weekend and you can get a bit of me time.

I'm exhausted, (which adds to the upset) I've had probably no more that 4hours sleep a night since Sunday night.

I'm just going to ignore DP for the rest of the day, if I try to talk to him it will end in an argument due to my exhaustion and exasperated state.

I can't nap, I have family to visit, the weekly shop and cleaning to do, I have mountains of washing. I'll do my best to get one in though if I can.

It's a forces thing, they get used to prioritising and generally their wants/needs are more important and therefore get prioritised. Yanbu

DP is back asleep in bed . I have to feed the dog soon, I may just accidentally let the 30kg ridgeback puppy in to the bedroom

Fuck that. Put your family off, get him to do the shopping / washing and go back to bed. Seriously. You need to sleep.

You sound totally overwhelmed! At first I thought ywbu as I didn't realise you worked full time!! ... Hat off to you, try and get a nap in at some point and have a sicky on Monday and sleep all day

confused is right. The worst thing I did when I had non-sleeping children was try to continue as usual. It meant that I was a tearful mess as I was so busy trying to keep everyone happy that I didn't get enough sleep. I learned somewhere around DC2 that it was ridiculous and so made my life as easy as possible: got a cleaner for a couple of hours once a week, signed up for online grocery shopping and slept rather than ran around doing 'stuff'.

Call your family and explain that your DS hasn't been sleeping well, you;re all exhausted and need to reschedule today. When your DH wakes up, hand him the baby and a shopping list and go back to bed.