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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

You don't have the hands for nails and other nasty things men say without thinking

76 replies

notnearlythereyet · 07/03/2015 00:48

AIBU to expect my man to cherish and adore me like when we first met?
Recently i've heard that I don't have the hands for nails when I painted them and asked what he thought. I admit my hands are chubby, but so are his! Is that a reason enough to discourage me from getting my nails done? He retracted very quickly saying how lovely my hands were blah blah blah, but I wonder if all men are so thoughtless and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind sometimes?

OP posts:
midgetgem2211 · 07/03/2015 13:43

My husband came out with a corker the other day!
We are both pretty over weight at the moment and he decided to measure us both as he wanted to see how big we are. Turned out he is a couple of centimetres bigger around the waist than me. He said "oh great! If I look like you I must be massively huge!" And couldn't work out why I was upset
He then tried to justify it by saying that he thought he was not as big as me and didn't realise he had let himself go so much (I am currently a size 16 instead of my usual 12)

Theoldcauliflower · 07/03/2015 13:47

Awww sole that's really really awful, what a bitch saying that about youAngry people can be total shallow arseholes sometimes!! It's not all about looks, many a good looking pig my old nan used to say!!

Paintedpinksapphires · 07/03/2015 13:50

These types of theeDs make me do furious!!!!

All men are not like this. If you have a partner like this, sit down and tell him why it's not acceptable.

Or get rid.

DrownedReindeer · 07/03/2015 13:54

Pre-marriage I was talking about some new clothes I'd bought and how they were more flattering (fat). Then BF said, "Maybe it's not hiding the excess weight that you should be concentrating on." I was speechless.

If only he knew then how much more weight I'd put on in the years to follow... Grin

He's learnt to be a bit more tactful now.

Paintedpinksapphires · 07/03/2015 14:05

Sorry so cross my spelling went to pot. Blush

Lovely ladies - find some better men or re-educate the ones you have.

Pantone363 · 07/03/2015 14:11

I'm "abrasive"

Usually from men who aren't use to women talking back to them

LosingNemo · 07/03/2015 14:13

Moments of personal comments over the years (not from DH, who is lovely) but the one that sticks in my mind is "I don't like the name XXX, can I call you YYY instead".
He didn't last long!

flora717 · 07/03/2015 14:20

Ex bf: "Your voice is quite irritating, can't you sound like you did last week?" (I'd had a cold, also I have a slight speech impediment.

specialsubject · 07/03/2015 14:20

so you asked for an opinion and didn't like the answer....

congratulations - you are perfect management material.

and of course all men are exactly the same.

specialsubject · 07/03/2015 14:21

while there are some bad stories on here, there also quite a few cases of not liking the facts. I'm afraid that doesn't change them!

expatinscotland · 07/03/2015 14:23

Jesus, I dumped twats who had no stop break on their mouths.

CatsCantTwerk · 07/03/2015 14:24

LosingNemo He didn't last long? I hope you dumped him there and then Shock

Cornettoninja · 07/03/2015 14:31

It's not just men though is it? Some people are just prone to making cutting remarks with no thought to how they'll affect people.

Granted most expect more from their partner, but it's not an exclusively male.

I had a female boss who conversationally pointed out that I was common, I found it rude enough to be hilarious but my colleagues in earshot were horrified. She genuinely wasn't trying to be horrible and was an otherwise lovely woman, but her social skills weren't great (obviously) and I thought a teensy bit naive and prim.

MalibuStacy · 07/03/2015 14:34

An ex once told me I was "not the same as other girls... down there." It has always bothered me since then.

UncommonSense · 07/03/2015 14:47

Last valentines hubby comes home with as bag from Ann Summers, saying, "Go put this on and come down to model it for me." I went upstairs, opened the box and thought, "Wow, this thing is so see-through that he won't even notice if I'm wearing it or not. I can take this back for a refund and he won't know the difference."

So I come out wearing nothing at all and strike a pose at the top of the stairs. "So, how do you like it?" I asked.

Imagine my horror when he replied "Jesus, you'd think for £60 they'd have ironed the damn thing."

Burke1 · 07/03/2015 14:56

What exactly is your problem with this OP? You asked him his opinion, and he gave it to you. It might not have been the answer you'd have liked, but it's his truthful response. Would you prefer that he lies to you?

Lweji · 07/03/2015 15:32

And he said "I think of you as more of a C cup"

Did you educate him about bra sizes, to his death? Grin

LosingNemo · 07/03/2015 15:50

catscan'ttwerk - not quite - I lived with him in a house share. Awkward!

It's not the worst thing I've ever had said by a man... This, from the consultant at an ante natal appointment when baby bump was measuring slightly small "that's not an excuse to eat more. Ethiopean's have babies too, you know". He then poked me in the stomach with his finger!

SukieTuesday · 07/03/2015 15:59

If my DH said that kind of stuff about me he'd be my ex.

ZoomZoomToTheMoon · 07/03/2015 16:07

There are some things that might slip out or are just tactless, I think that's quite different from a campaign of negging/nasty comments by someone who's abusive or trying to put you down.

I did once accidentally mention "that horrible shirt" to DP Blush – it was horrible but I'd never said anything for years because I didn't think he deserved me to be mean about it. But it slipped out! (And I was mortified and apologised) But I wouldn't generally make nasty comments about his appearance. If a partner does that a lot, I'd worry.

My dad once told me no one would ever marry me for my hands. And he was an abusive twat. (Still, it would be kind of an odd relationship if someone did marry you for your hands, I guess...)

chipshop · 07/03/2015 17:29

Mine's more lighthearted but DP's one big mistake was when leggings became popular a few years ago. I had gone from a size 16 to a 10 and was feeling great. We were in a restaurant and a girl went past in a lovely tunic/leggings combo. I said oh I love that outfit, maybe I should get something similar. He said: "Oh no I don't think it would suit". Me: "Why?" Him: "Well, I think for leggings you need to be really slim and you're just... well... average..."

A few years later and I STILL mention that he thinks I'm average. It really winds him up. Grin

GatoradeMeBitch · 07/03/2015 17:38

UncommonSense Did you copy and paste that 'joke' from UnfunnySaddos dot com?

LionWings · 07/03/2015 17:46

MalibuStacey all girls are different down there! Just like all men. What is he a bloody world expert.

RufusTheReindeer · 07/03/2015 17:56

uncommon

I thought it was funnyBlush

lewji

Grin I was a D cup a few years ago...went to a good bra shop and came back as an F cup. He was so chuffed Grin you would honestly think I'd had implants!!!!

Tobyjugg · 07/03/2015 18:08

he told her to get rid of her beloved 10 yr old cats and she did that too!

If I told DW it was the moggy or me, the blasted animal would be on the front room window ledge licking itself in the warm while I took my battered suitcase down the path into the night!

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