To wonder why being bright seems to be frowned upon?

[OhFlippityBolax]

Back in the dark ages of my time at primary school, you had to hide the fact you were bright and often had to 'play dumb' to fit in with other kids.

I'm noticing this with my own dc. They're very academic, arty children but again they almost have to 'hide' it and one has even asked the teacher outright to stop calling on them in class to answer questions because the other kids rib them so much in the playground about their general knowledge.

Also watching this programme on channel 5 about the huge primary school, the poor girl being picked on for being studious

Is it universal? Is it something you've seen at school? Why is it we are so anti academic kids?

I don't know why it happens, I do think it can be a problem. I always thought it was more of a problem at secondary school though.

I'm sure there is an answer to this as it doesn't seem to happen in every school but I'm not sure what it is.

Children like to blend in; bright children often do not blend in.

It's not something I've ever experienced with my DC or in any of the primary schools I've worked in. Generally, at that age, the clever children are proud of their abilities and the other children are either impressed or indifferent, unless they're a bit arrogant or show-off about it. Perhaps secondary school is different.

I work in an infant school and there's absolutely no sense of anyone (pupils or staff) being anti academic children. No idea if it's different at high school, I went to a grammar school where you were frowned upon if you weren't bright, though, so perhaps that's not a very typical experience.

There is a real culture of suspicion of intelligence in this country, exacerbated by tall poppy syndrome.

At the primary school my children attend, it's seen as a good thing to do well at things, whether that's academic stuff, sport, art, music etc.

I would modestly say that I'm quite bright for my profession; I'm often teased for being brainy/boffin but I'm often first to be asked for help spelling/proofreading etc. I was a complete nerd at school but wasn't bullied or overly teased, perhaps I was lucky.
Best thing I think children can do is develop a thick skin and/or a good sense of humour.

Sorry,another one bucking the trend. DD is part of a group of friends who fiercely compete and openly admire in all kinds of areas, including showing off their cleverness.

I remember a bit of this when I was at school, especially secondary. You'd be called a boffin if you happened to do well in academic subjects. I was quite shy, and I found it difficult to deal with comments like that.

DD has not experienced this at all at her state primary. Doing well academically is seen as a positive thing, and all of the children are encouraged to celebrate each other's successes, regardless of what "level" they are at. Mind you, dd has much better social skills than I ever had, so perhaps that helps too.

I do think, particularly in primary school, kids sometime lack the social skills not to look arrogant. So they think, and their parents think, they are picked on for being clever, when they are actually being picked on for being a bit of a git. This was certainly what happened to my ds.......!

Seriously? Most of the most popular kids at my primary are the brightest ones. Perhaps you might get a super clever socially awkward child that doesn't get on. I would put that down to social skills more than the fact they were clever.

I don't like the trend for older teenagers and young women to act thick. When did this become a thing again?

It is also a widely believed/repeated myth about comprehnsive schools.......

I thought things had changed. In DDs' school the bright ones are respected and thought of as cool, with lots of friends. So much better than my day. Sorry that that isn't the case for you.

Agree with Hakluyt. It's not a thing I've noticed at either my daughters' state primary or their grimy comp.

I was bullied horrendously for being bright. People took the piss, called me names, I even got physically attacked because of it. I think it was partly because the area I grew up in, it just wasn't valued to be bright, it meant you thought you were 'better' than other people and were a snob. (If only they knew how rubbish I felt inside, it's laughable) and partly because the teachers would single me out and use me as an example 'look nobody is already reading xx book and has completed all xx level, why cant you?' Type comments. It even happened in my house with my not academic sibling and meant they resented the hell out of me.
It's safe to say I'm actually pleased my children are very average in their classes. They have a far nicer time than I did.

Yeah both at schools and in schools I've worked in most bright kids are fine socially.

The few who are unpopular/socially awkward are sometimes picked on by bullies who hone in on their insecurity or "difference" as sadly bullies are wont to do.
Bit at the other end of the scale they do it to lower academic ability kids too, with equal cruelty.
The more academic children are often doubly upset as they can't figure a way out of the awful situation using their usual strategies. They also grow up and become writers or influencers ... so their story gets told eventually.

Everyone in school needs to be vigilant about bullying. It's not as simple as the nerd/thug stereotype of old these days. A good school knows this.

fwiw I was picked on at school because I wasn't allowed trendy stuff but my arty/less academic sibling WAS. I was also hot housed and not allowed the same tv etc as other kids to some extent. Still fuming to this day. Both at the bullies and adults who decided that.

Brilliant 80s/early 90s misunderstanding of feminism sadly: clever girls get books, arty girls get looks.

At the state school I went to, it was somewhat of a hindrance to be bright, but at my private sixth form it was completely the opposite. I think that the majority rules with this kind of thing so in a school where most students will struggle to even be entered for 9 GCSEs, bright kids will be the outliers, whereas at one where most of the students are high-achievers it will be the less able who are stigmatised.

happened to me as a kid. much less so to my kids once out of primary (ds was bullied as a "boffin" dds i think just floated over it all).I suspect this was because it was a selective school though, i fear the comps aren't so easy for bright kids even now.

interesting to note that ds did use his intellect to sort himself out re the bullying- he had a book, read it and used the strategies -his belief that the book says so, so it must work was interesting.

As a mother of a child that struggles at school, who is teased and bullied relentlessly by the 2 cleverest girls because she is stupid I would have to say I disagree

This happened in my schools when I was attending them, all private, but it doesn't work that way in the state schools my dc go to. I thought times had changed on the whole, but maybe I'm wrong. It has been really good to see my children want to do well and achieve as much as they can because that is just the done thing at their schools.

I wouldn't say the bright children are the most popular, but they certainly have lots of friends and aren't looked down on for being bright and keen to learn. If anything, it's the minority who don't behave well (regardless of their academic achievement) that are unpopular.

i got ribbed for being bright as i lived on a council estate and went to grammar school , at grammar i was called council trash by the rich kids and on the estate i was called a grammar snob because i didnt go to the secondary school couldnt win either way wish i hadnt been so bright at 11