To be irritated by colleague constantly commenting on my lunch

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

I dont eat particularly healthy but have say sandwich and crisps for lunch. One particularly healthy colleague is always making comments and slights. Its so irritating im starting to consider eating in the car rather than the office to avoid the continual grilling and comments.
AIBU (I know I am a bit)

The funny thing is this person drinks like a sailor. I always piss myself laughing at the irony.

Ling's idea is excellent. Do that. The when she asks why you are doing it you could always say 'It's the least fun bit of my lunch hour and I just want to get it out of the way quickly'. No smile.

Cuderthunt I am at the asking for a bite of his pasty. However, did she not have her own lunch or something - clutching at straws here?

What Ling says!

Whether she's an entirely clean living health nut or a borderline alcoholic, she's bloody rude! There's no justification for it.

I like the email idea of Edith that's hilarious.

i assume you e tried a good old pa eye roll and sigh

Or whenever she comments you could say:

'Thank God for that - I thought a single working day was going to pass without one of your insightful comments on my food.'

'Not up to your usual standard - I expected some comment on the fact that Jesus's face was clearly visible on the top slice of bread.'

'Have you ever considered a career as a food critic - the kind of expertise needed to identify brown bread at that distance is wasted here.'

'Thanks heavens you mentioned it - I beginning to wonder if this was the ghost of a sandwich and I was the only one who could see it.'

'Your thoughts on my lunch truly make it worth coming in to work every day. The only problem is that once it's over I know it's just going to be a steady downhill slide until bed once you've pointed out what I'm eating. It makes he evenings really depressing to know that I won't enjoy the benefit of your wisdom over dinner.'

Our old Director's PA used to comment on my lunches occasionally, probably because I came back from mat leave rather podgier than I was pre-pregnancy. Once she passed on the way to the photocopier, saw me eating cake and stopped to ask if I should really be eating cake. It was all I could do not to slap her. She was annoying, but it cheered me up knowing she was not my mother/MIL. She must have been a fucking horror.

You could say, I maybe unhealthy, but you are boring!

emotionsecho she def had her own lunch, she was just obsessed with other people's food! She would get upset (actually teary eyed) if she found out we'd had cake or something in the office on her day off. Too funny.

DoJo

Dust to be fair you probably could have slapped her and blamed your hormones. what a massive cow.

Just totally blank her. Dont even flick your eyes up, look out the window or check your phone.
No acknowledgment at all is waaay worse for these people

Whenever I've had snarky comments I reply 'when I get fat I'll let you know'.

Loads of great comebacks here! She needs taking down a peg or 2 cos it is a form of bullying. Put her in her place.

My offering is:

"Yes, I've got no fibre or vegetables at all in my lunch today - you really should try it once or twice a week, it would stop the terrible wind that seems to build up in your system." For added effect, open a window as you're saying this, or spray some air freshener.

"Oh brown bread today..."

"Yes, its supposed to be white but your mother shat in the dough."

I would minimise it by agreeing with her. That would take the wind out of her sails - eg

That doesn't look very healthy / No, you're right, it's not

Don't you care about eating rubbish / No, not really

I couldn't eat stuff like that / No, I don't suppose you could

All those crisps must be very expensive / Yes, they are a bit

Don't you mind wasting your money? / No, not really

Love that curly

When she comments put on a party hat, set your phone cheering, pop party poppers and blow on one of those tooter things that blow out and they say 'Congratulations, you managed 100 days in a row making rude comments about our lunches'.

Then present her with a certificate

Just take a massive bite, then say 'what?' with your mouth full and dribbling bits of semi-masticated butty.
Or channel 'Bad Santa' and just scream at her 'I'm on my fucking break'

I had a similar colleague, except she felt she had to comment on my clothing, every day, and it was not in a complimentary way. She felt the need to comment mainly on the colours: 'Oh..You're very red today, aren't you?", Or, "Did you phone your friend this morning - she's wearing blue too?", 'That dress is very young, isn't it?"

In the end I said to her," you take a very unhealthy interest in what I wear, and your comments are making me a bit uncomfortable". She still made comments, but less often, and now she has retired and I am F..R..E...E

foslady - that's a very good idea. Wish I'd thought of that for my colleague. I should have given her a certificate for her retirement

Tape a bit of paper on/above your desk. When she next comments don't say anything or make eye contact just get out a big whiteboard marker and make a mark. Make sure she sees you. When you get to five marks shout 'yes!' do a fist pump and get a big bar of chocolate out of your drawer to eat. If she says anything or looks at you just say 'what?' and act bemused.

Do ask her not to do that anymore.

If she doesnt stop, or begins again, start writing down her comments. Absolutely do not engage her in discussing your new habit.

She will either cease in the face of This oddness, or complain. Except, should she complain, you have her ongoing history of harassment written down write there.

Or do what bloody says.