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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Over DH and the heating and hot water controls

73 replies

chocciechip · 02/03/2015 20:14

I like a deep hot bath. DH appears to decide what temperatures are reasonable (or suit him!) and then adjusts the controls accordingly. I've just had a bath where the water temperature was 36.6C (on the baby's turtlemeter). Just had a row that that is too bloody cold!!. He is denying it, but I know he experimentally switched them down to see if I'd notice. He does the same thing with room temperatures. It's an argument we've had for 20years and I don't know what it will take to get him to respect that my body thermostat is different to his. Seriously pissed off I didn't get my lovely hot bath at the end of a stressful day.

OP posts:
HazleNutt · 02/03/2015 20:16

YANBU. 36.6 bath is horrible.

TwoOddSocks · 02/03/2015 20:16

YANBU. That would drive me mad. I'd just add more hot water until it was as hot as I could stand.

Janethegirl · 02/03/2015 20:18

Keep boiling the kettle and topping up the bath to get it to a proper temperature. Better still get him to do it for youGrin

tinymeteor · 02/03/2015 20:24

Yanbu, obviously. Suggest you make the point by sabotaging one of his creature comforts. Try switching his coffee for decaf and see how he likes it.

Original poster
chocciechip · 02/03/2015 20:25

Twoodd - that was as hot as the water was in the tank. I was fuming. If DH ever gets in my bath he jumps out like a scalded cat and complains it's too hot. The turtlemeter has to read in the region of 41-42C for me to think 'aaaah - nice'.

36.6C?! - I'm so annoyed!

OP posts:
Hassled · 02/03/2015 20:27

I'd be spitting with rage and fury. He needs to respect that your preferences are as valid as his.

PintofCiderPlease · 02/03/2015 20:29

I can't even imagine DH doing something like that - get between me and my long soaking HOT bath???

His life isn't worth that much.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum · 02/03/2015 20:30

YANBU I live in a new build and have a 'safety valve' on my bath so cannot ave a hot bath, it's the one thing I detest about this house.

themummyonthebus · 02/03/2015 20:30

Ask him if he thinks it would be cheaper for you to fill the bath from the kettle. Actually, might be worth checking! And do it next time! Angry for you.

CSIJanner · 02/03/2015 20:34

YANBU

If he likes colder water than you, then pour half a bath then run the cold tap.
It's easier to cool down hot water than trying to heat the bath with anger because of your husbands experimentation.

Alwaysbeenwrong · 02/03/2015 20:35

What about turning the thermostat up?

Original poster
chocciechip · 02/03/2015 20:35

I spent the whole of the time feeding DS before bed tonight steaming with irritation and trying to come up with a revenge that would annoy him as much as this annoys me.

Dairy - I had one of those on the shower where we lived before, but it could be re-set. DH kept fiddling with that too! In a massive rage one day I managed to break it Grin!

OP posts:
CalicoBlue · 02/03/2015 20:36

Would drive me nuts.

Luckily DH has no idea how to use the heating and water controls. Once turned the heating and hot water from twice to constant when we went on holiday thinking it would be more economical. He is not allowed to touch it now.

ChoudeBruxelles · 02/03/2015 20:37

We've got a new build diaryofawimpymum. We got the builder to remove safety valves on bath and showers. It invalidated the guarantee on them but at least means we can have a hot bath/shower

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 02/03/2015 20:38

My DH once told someone that it was a "dark, dark day once Manhattan finally figured out how to set the heating and water properly."

YANBU

Coumarin · 02/03/2015 20:39

That's crap. I started running a bath last night and it was hottish enough to sit in but not "aaahhhh" hot. I wasn't wasting my posh bath oils in that so the plug came out.

I'm sure DH turned the temp thing down on the tank but he denies it. Anyway it's red hot tonight so going to try again.

I'm sure you're all fascinated by my bath adventures but a luke warm bath is such a disappointment. Especially when you're all geared up with magazines and candles.

Original poster
chocciechip · 02/03/2015 20:40

Always - it's the thermostat that he keeps adjusting. I made him turn it up again but it took too long to heat the water back up. So I ended up getting out in a fury. He has this ridiculously fancy heating system and I think he thinks he'll one day find a happy medium or something. I also think that no matter what I say, he thinks I have my baths unreasonably hot.

OP posts:
Coumarin · 02/03/2015 20:40

Choude and Diary I'm in a New Build. Where are the safety valves located? I don't think we have them but I want to double check.

TheFairyCaravan · 02/03/2015 20:42

YANBU about the water temperature, however my DH turns the heating up all the time because he is "cold". I think it's really selfish because it gives me a headache. If he doesn't turn it down before he goes to bed (which is frequent) I wake up with a migraine.

Original poster
chocciechip · 02/03/2015 20:43

Manhattan - I've got to do that: figure out the insanely complicated system and then hide the control.

OP posts:
CSIJanner · 02/03/2015 20:45

So, post the make of the boiler her, we'll all hell you figure it out and then once you've got it on the setting you want, superglue the dial.

ChoudeBruxelles · 02/03/2015 20:46

Not sure exactly but in the taps somewhere (really no idea about plumbing). The kitchen taps were scalding hot whereas the bath tap was only ever tepid.

Original poster
chocciechip · 02/03/2015 20:49

The boiler is 15 years old but he has one of these linked in. I really will need to get hold of the manual as well : www.honeywelluk.com

OP posts:
DiaryOfAWimpyMum · 02/03/2015 20:50

Choude Mine is the same Angry I don't know where the valve is but I'm thinking somewhere under the taps to the bath (which is covered so I can't see it) I have been told 'Not to remove the safety valve' Hmm

Alwaysbeenwrong · 02/03/2015 20:53

Ok, but with mine [Worcester Bosch] the setting in the hallway may look complicated but if you go to the boiler there is a separate dial for how hot to have the water. Also, it's instant. You don't need to wait for it to heat up.
Good luck getting through to him Smile

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