Over DH and the heating and hot water controls

[chocciechip]

I like a deep hot bath. DH appears to decide what temperatures are reasonable (or suit him!) and then adjusts the controls accordingly. I've just had a bath where the water temperature was 36.6C (on the baby's turtlemeter). Just had a row that that is too bloody cold!!. He is denying it, but I know he experimentally switched them down to see if I'd notice. He does the same thing with room temperatures. It's an argument we've had for 20years and I don't know what it will take to get him to respect that my body thermostat is different to his. Seriously pissed off I didn't get my lovely hot bath at the end of a stressful day.

Does your DH always pick something that affects you rather than himself when he wants to save money OP?

Jux Mon 02-Mar-15 22:49:48
DH used to do that too. It was partly because he thought I shouldn't have baths at all. Our relate Counsellor said that it was none of his business, and he stopped pissing about then

BLOODY HELL.

Loving the Party Function on page 5 CSIJanner

Can you try messing with the toaster dial? Remove all but two slices from the bread bin, then whack it up to 9. Listening to him scrape off the burnt bits will be balm on your wounds.

My husband runs hot and I run cold, I love my showers to be scalding hot (then I turn it down as its too hot :D ) but he likes his cooler, He wins, only because if the thermostat is too high the kids would burn their hands when hand washing.

Our compromise is the water stays at his level, but I whack it up before I have a shower then turn it straight back down afterwards. This only works because we have a combi boiler? so its instant.

He like a cold house too, so between 09:00 and 16:00 the heating is on at 25 and then turned off so it cools down for him and okayish for me, he does buy me some lovely warm clothing though :D

DP is exactly the same. Even when I have had a soak in the bath and the water has cooled he thinks it is too hot.

He likes the rooms much cooler than I do.

But he doesn't try and get his own way by dismissing what I like! He always has the second bath and adds more cold. He sits in a t-shirt and shorts whilst I wear a cardigan or have a throw over my legs. It's called compromise.

Another hot baths lover here. If DH joins me, it's after I've been in for a good 20-40 min and he still complains it's too hot. Weakling

Re the new builds/safety valves thing - apparently ours was something actually fitted to the plumbing under the bath. Have no idea how or what it actually is. Builder wouldn't remove/turn it off for us, but told DH about it and how to remove it. We did try a couple of baths with it on, but even DH moaned that they were too cool, so he fiddled with it and now we can have nice scalding hot baths.

We used to argue about temperatures in general, as DH likes it to be warmer than I do (he likes to wear a tshirt in winter and feel like he's in the tropics). Somewhat selfishly, I would address this by opening windows. Takes a lot longer to heat the house up again than just to maintain a reasonable temperature...

OP, YANBU but you need to learn how to work the thermostat, and program it so your DH can't meddle with the hot water easily. Or just resort to boiling kettles for your baths whilst muttering about the cost

I am constantly seeing how low a temperature I can have the heating on at before we freeze (slight exaggeration) but baths have to be HOT.

If it was his own bath temp he was messing with then it could be called experimenting but it isn't. Given that he ignored your repeated requests to stop the behaviour, I'd say he was being, at best disrespectful and at worst a controlling arse.

How would he like it if you started arbitrarily dictatiing things? If you can be bothered, I'd start serving food cold or only doing his washing on a Wednesday.

Idiot's basic guide to heating/water things ( I am the idiot - none of this is very technical.......)

The thermostat on the boiler regulates the temperature of the water that goes round the radiators, and around the coil that heats the water in the tank. If this is low, it will be slow to respond.

The thermostat on the wall regulates the temperature that the radiators heat the room to. Once it is hot enough, the pump will stop circulating the water (see above).

There is a thermostat on the hot water tank. This regulates the temperature the water will heat to. It stops the water circulating round the coil in the tank when the water in the tank is hot enough.

A combi boiler heats the hot water as it goes, so there will be some sort of regulation on the boiler - presumably there are separate ones for hot water and central heating water. I haven't got one.

It is a control thing. It is up to you what temperature you have your bath at and your responsibility to make sure it is reasonable. Is it worth buying/borrowing lots of kettles and heating hot water on the landing?

Above 70 °C (158 °F): Legionella dies almost instantly
At 60 °C (140 °F): 90% die in 2 minutes
At 50 °C (122 °F): 90% die in 80–124 minutes, depending on strain
At 48 to 50 °C (118 to 122 °F): Can survive but do not multiply
32 to 42 °C (90 to 108 °F): Ideal growth range

have to agree with this - DP is a heating engineer and tells me all the time that our hot water has to be at 60 or above to kill the disease.

Legionella can make you very very poorly, so tell him its not about the cold baths and to google legionella!

I'm a bit worried about the legionella thing. Our water isn't 60 due to being worried about kids scalding themselves ...

If the bath is too hot for your hubby why doesn't he just add some cold water? Problem solved.

Why has the OP got to boil kettles. Why is that even being suggested. If he wants to save money why doesnt he pick something that affects him?

I got to the bottom of what happened last night. I ran my bath and while I was out the room DH added cold water. He said he thought I was going to bath with DD, which I often do. But when he realised it was just me, that the water was too cold, and the tank had been drained, he denied everything. He said he was "too scared" to admit it because I was so angry.

So he bloody should be!

What - so you can't be trusted to determine the temperature of your bath with your daughter? FFS.

It is like the spoonyfucker thread, only with baths.

Mixer taps are the work of the devil.

My DH tried this with both the heating & hot water. I had the absolute rage at him in January when I was immobilised at home with a broken leg & dislocated arm, it was 0 degrees outside & the house was the usual fridge. He got the message and reset both so they are proper temps and come on / off at suitable times.

He's a lovely man but this was one thing he thought he could get away with as he doesn't feel the cold.

One of the problems I have is that I teach in the school he went to, which is a uniquely frozen place with notoriously ineffective heating, 5 years of that hardened him up.

Nobody and nothing gets between me & my jot bath (even plaster casts !).

Too right he should have been bloody scared, what a control freak!!!

Me? If I really wanted a bath I make DH cart boiling water in the kettle up to the bath - if he had been the numpty to stuff it up.