Over DH and the heating and hot water controls

[chocciechip]

I like a deep hot bath. DH appears to decide what temperatures are reasonable (or suit him!) and then adjusts the controls accordingly. I've just had a bath where the water temperature was 36.6C (on the baby's turtlemeter). Just had a row that that is too bloody cold!!. He is denying it, but I know he experimentally switched them down to see if I'd notice. He does the same thing with room temperatures. It's an argument we've had for 20years and I don't know what it will take to get him to respect that my body thermostat is different to his. Seriously pissed off I didn't get my lovely hot bath at the end of a stressful day.

Piglet John will know

I think it can actually be dangerous to have a hot water yank below a certain temperature as it's not hot enough to kill certain bugs, or is just the right temperature to breed others can't remember which.

Seriously? He's been watching too much gadget man!

Does it have a pin Code? if not, from first glance, generically you can look to the side of it and move the switch to programme. Use the arrows to move to temp and then change. For every single day. Once that's done, put it back in auto then glue the switch so he can't change it.

Page 5 is your friend.

Ex messed with the boiler once.... Told him I would allow him that mistake once, but to do it again I would fucking chops his bollocks off and destroy something else that he loved.
Never messed with the boiler again.. Although don't think it helped I was making dinner at the time, and was chopping carrots with a very big knife. Possibly didn't help that I was in a pmt rage.

There's a few things that you don't mess with in my world. One of those is a hot bath when I have cramps, and in a shitty mood cos the meds aren't working and I have had a very restless night.

It sounds like your partner is just trying to save a bit of cash TBH. Nothing to get too upset about. Have you not thought about turning up the water temp before you bath?

Cheers!

Find a local spa hotel, and every time the water is too cold, go there for a couple of hours leaving a list of chores that you now can't do.

Has he said why he does this? Is it a cost saving thing?

Lachatte is right, we recently had a new boiler and hot water tank fitted and were told by the plumber that the hot water temp should be around 55 degrees to kill bugs.

And surely having the water temperature so low means you can't wash up properly? Even if you have a dishwasher, some items still need washing by hand.

I'm tight but our waters set to 55c, he's not thinking straight.

DH kindly ran me a nice hot bath this evening. Except he put hot and cold water in at the same rate.... =cold bath. Thankfully he has no idea how to control the heating and hot water, other than me teaching him where the 'extra hour' button is :)

I'm eating chocolate now (I'm not sharing with DH) so I'm feeling a bit better. I'm going to ask him to explain himself when I'm feeling less sweary. I'm embarrassed to admit I haven't a clue how the control system, boiler, heating and hot water all link up.

This is reversed in our house. I'm always too hot, especially when pg. DH has 43 degree showers and I have 37. We have independent temperature gauges on the shower and are forever getting in, muttering 'FFS' and fiddling with it again.

He doesn't know how to make the bath water different, it's always just 'hot', but it means any romantic baths we try to have end in bickering and me jumping out of his boiling pot. My skin turns visibly red, I'm pretty sure I'm actually cooking, it doesn't bother him at all!

He wanders round the house in shorts and tells me it's freezing cold and puts the heating on whilst I feel sick and sweat in the tropical temperatures. Apparently I'm unreasonable for expecting him to buy some proper pyjama bottoms if he doesn't want to wear real clothes!

The best thing is that DH doesn't really know/care about how to operate the boiler hot water controller or indeed the wireless thermostat. I'm in charge

Hmm, when we had a new boiler pit in the installer said that the water temp was 65 degrees as that kills bugs in water... Afaik there is no way to change the temp! V odd of your dh to do that. Just why?!

You have the heating on over night fairycaravan? *misses point of thread.
Yanbu. Baths should be hotter than body temp brrrrrr

I ran the bath as I always do, to same depth etc, then faffed around before getting in (as I often do) only to find it at 36.6. To be fair, I suspect the cool water coming out the tank meant the tank had to re-heat. But I KNOW that on every other night, my bath has been fine before I get in - regardless of whether I apply a face mask first or not - but tonight it wasn't. My suspicion, based on his past behaviour, is that he's turned a setting down somewhere, and on this occasion my faffing meant the bath cooled to an unpleasantly low temperature from a temp set lower than yesterday, IYKWIM.

If you have the hot water at too low a temperature you are at risk of Legionnaires disease

Above 70 °C (158 °F): Legionella dies almost instantly
At 60 °C (140 °F): 90% die in 2 minutes
At 50 °C (122 °F): 90% die in 80–124 minutes, depending on strain
At 48 to 50 °C (118 to 122 °F): Can survive but do not multiply
32 to 42 °C (90 to 108 °F): Ideal growth range

So best to have really hot water and then add cold to it.

After two years with my ex-boyfriend I finally figured out that the reason he couldn't get his dishes clean was because the hot water wasn't hot enough. Lunacy and total false economy.

I get fiddling with the heating controls but wtf can't he just add more cold water to his bath than turn the water temp down especially when he knows you like it considerably hotter. Just smacks of control issues being purposeful antagonistic so I'm not surprised you're irritated

DH has just had a thingy fitted that puts excess energy from our solar panels into the water heater, and it's now permanently scalding hot! The shower temp is set below the middle, into the cold section to be able to stand in it! I had a fabulous bath yesterday :)

(He still turns the heating off/down at every opportunity though)

It's always best to have hot water and then add cold to it. I can't think of how ragey I would get if my OH did this to me. I even get annoyed if he has used too much hot water doing the pots [usually when he does them later after the hot water has been on and gone off].

I have an emergency supply, the shower. I take the shower head off, bung it on the hottest setting and let that heat the bath up. If it was an accident I am not too bad about but if he did it on purpose - that's MY FUCKING BATH he would be messing about with. Very very dangerous.

DH used to do that too. It was partly because he thought I shouldn't have baths at all. Our relate Counsellor said that it was none of his business, and he stopped pissing about then.

When we moved a plumber showed me a kind of thermostat thing on the hot water tank and turned it up to 60C for me. I'm not sure if it over-rides the boiler settings, but the only time I get a bath in swimming pool temperatures how is when someone else has had pne, and the water hasn't reheated (or dh has turned the hot water off, of course).

I have no compunction about turning on the immersion heater if he's changed the times to something stupid. He hates that.

We have to safety thing in our new build. You can still get a hot bath as long as you only run a tiny amount of cold. It's to prevent children scalding themselves, we asked builders to remove it as we have no children and they refused as it's a 'safety feature'.