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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry with the chairperson of the PTA

128 replies

tully67 · 27/02/2015 21:28

at a school disco my son was playing with another boy on the dance floor. Play fighting but not in such a way to annoy any other children. She wen up to them, put her hands on both my son's shoulders and told him to stop it. She said nothing to the other boy. There were older boys running around (it was the Y1-3 disco) from Y6 and Y7 including her son and nothing was said to them. I was standing in the hall at the time alone watching him. I was so mad I left (there was only 10 mins left!!). I didn't say anything to her at the time because I was too cross. I will not see her at the school and was thinking of writing to her as Chair of the PTA or speaking to the Head teacher.

OP posts:
ssd · 28/02/2015 22:59

didnt mean to create a link there Grin

RedCrayons · 28/02/2015 23:05

Ssd - what you describe us a disgrace. I've never seen it happening at my school and I can't imagine anyone on our PTA expecting that sort of favouritism.

I will admit to giving PTA kids leftover crisps and sweets for free at the end of the disco whilst we're cleaning up.

Paintedpinksapphires · 28/02/2015 23:37

Our PTA are amazing, every single one of them - even the one I don't get on with. Amazing.

Flowers to all PTA committee members out there.

My children love the discos and fun days and fetes. They have their educational experiences enriched by the things the fundraising buys.

I can't volunteer for the committee but I help where I can, spend money when I'm asked to and thank/compliment the team for their hard work.

Ps OP if you are lurking, she may have been wrong, we can't tell but please, please don't write a letter.

Hakluyt · 28/02/2015 23:53

Sorry, ssd-I don't belive you. Or rather, I do believe you think that something happened. But it was nothing to do with the PTA.

HedgehogsDontBite · 01/03/2015 00:15

My daughter got extra time in her exams because of her SEN. We had to submit all sorts of paperwork including diagnosis papers and various assessments. The school then submitted the application to the external examining body and they agreed she needed extra time and informed the school how much extra time she could have. I should have just joined the PTA and saved us all the headache Hmm.

Hakluyt · 01/03/2015 00:19

Dd broke her finger the day before her exam. They managed to get her permission to use a lap top and have a scribe if necessary- but no extra time. If only I had remembered to play the PTA card........

Summeblaze · 01/03/2015 00:24

My DD will get extra time on her year 6 SATs this year as she has been diagnosed with dyslexia. My DS will also get extra time in his year 2 SATs due to his statement of SEN.

I'm so please that this will be judged by all the nosey parkers out there to be because I am the chair of the PTA.

Makes all the time and effort I put into the school sooooo worth it.

tobysmum77 · 01/03/2015 08:22

It is slightly beyond me what a child having fraudulent additional exam time has to do with the pta.

ssd · 01/03/2015 08:26

it was nothing to do with the pta as such, but being chair of the pta gave this person access to talk to teachers and build friendships that would have been much harder to build otherwise, due to a non pta parent not being able to pop into the school or the school offices unannounced' almost every day, or have inside knowledge when certain teachers had free periods.

and if the nosey parkers hadn't found out and judged and started asking questions she'd have got away with it.

the critical difference between the person I'm talking about and you summerblaze is your saying "statement of SEN" and "diagnosed" , clear proof of certain conditions rather than implied conditions with no proof to back them up, and no symptoms, if that's the right word, shown to the rest of the teachers when they were asked.

ssd · 01/03/2015 08:27

i realise now this person has totally clouded my judgement of the pta.

tobysmum77 · 01/03/2015 08:32

But if she was so inclined she would have found another way. Ultimately it is the head teachers responsibility to make sure that children are treated fairly. Where it didn't happen it's their fault ultimately.

ssd · 01/03/2015 08:38

thats true

CundtBake · 01/03/2015 08:42

IME the PTA does attract the power trip types, things like that do.

It doesn't mean everyone on every PTA is on a power trip, but they do exist. As do martyrs Hmm

That being said I'm hoping to join when DS starts school. Not because I am a power trip type but because I want to make an effort to get more involved and set an example to DS as I'm naturally very shy.

But I don't understand why some people refuse to believe that anyone on any PTA could be on a power trip.

DustyGold · 01/03/2015 08:52

Mmm, reading this thread though Cundtbake, you don't know how you will be perceived by PTA watchers.
Maybe a power tripper? Maybe a martyr? Who knows.....

chocoluvva · 01/03/2015 09:58

No- one is likely to admit to being chair of a PTA so they can have a power trip though. Grin

IfMaybeBut · 01/03/2015 10:10

I'm on the PTA at current school but wasn't on at the last school because the chair of the PTA was an utter power trip bitch. That's one woman though. The current team are a lovely bunch and we wield the power to enter the staff room to fill the urn for making teas and coffees on parents evenings and yes I did give DD an out of date bottle of coke at the last event.....for free. I'm buying a suit and stilettos specially for attending my next power trip meeting as obviously jeans and fleece are no longer suitable

Hakluyt · 01/03/2015 10:11

Sooo much easier to snipe from the sidelines than actually do anything.

Ssd- a child can only get extra time in an exam if they do have "symptoms" and "proof".

SwirlyThingAlert · 01/03/2015 10:19

You know Highway Dragon I was only looking for a bit of advice. If you can't do that why reply. Take your anger elsewhere - idiot. To those of you who replied thanks but I'm off. This really isn't the forum for me. will have a chat to my friends. Bye.

Grin OP - "AIBU?"

Everyone else - "Yes, you are, sorry but you should have stopped the play fighting yourself."

OP - "Waaaaah it's so UNFAIR I HATE you all and I'm off. Grin

If you didn't want to know the answer why post?!

CalicoBlue · 01/03/2015 10:27

When I was trying to find someone to take over as chair, as I had done 3 years and wanted to do other stuff, I wish I had advertising it as a power trip. Would have got so many more applicants. Instead in the newsletter we talked about supporting the school and pupils, helping develop the school community, enhancing the learning experience through the equipment we bought, fun evenings, making friends.....

APlaceInTheWinter · 01/03/2015 10:29

How odd that everyone is so quick to judge ssd when presumably she is the only poster on here with experience of her school. And also she hasn't specified what type of exam so how on earth can other posters be sure she is wrong? It obviously wasn't a scheduled exam if it could be resat at a later date.

It doesn't mean every person on every PTA abuses their access to the school and teachers. It doesn't mean that every DC granted extra time will be judged harshly.

ime PTAs and parent councils attract a mix of people the same as every other type of voluntary committee.

FryOneFatManic · 01/03/2015 10:30

I know some people could see the PTA as a power trip, but generally I've not known this to be the case.

What I do know is that there are plenty of parents out there who whinge about the PTA yet never offer to help, not even send in a cake for a sale.

Yes, many parents don't have time, or babysitting, but plenty do. I work full time but I sit on the PTA and also on another charity committee as secretary.

The reason I do this is because both organisations will fold without people giving up their time and children benefit from these organisations. I offered my time and help as I could see that the few people on these committees were having to juggle multiple roles in order to keep things afloat.

It would only take a very few more people for these organisations to be secure in what they can offer to the children. But many people don't want to know.

Summeblaze · 01/03/2015 10:30

If this happened in your school ssd then it was completely and utterly wrong and the onus of that is on the head teacher for letting it happen.

But although people may have guessed that my DS has SEN due to his 1:1 TA, no one will know that my DD has dyslexia as she didn't want anyone to know.

You may have found out that this child was not diagnosed with anything in the end but you just as easily may have ended up uncovering an "undisclosed to everyone in the whole school" issue with this child. You must have been judgey in the first place with no proof of your own that this child had no problems.

I haven't yet met anyone in our or any other PTA that has been on a power trip (although I do think there must be some somewhere). I aren't and am not a martyr either. I like doing it. I am also naturally shy. I only joined in the first place as someone else I know had joined and spent the first year going to everything but not actually speaking. It has helped with my confidence and can now speak in the meetings we have. I did try a talk to all our new starters mums in the summer though. Never again.

I think your experience has clouded your judgement ssd though so will let you off Smile.

winewolfhowls · 01/03/2015 11:27

I am grateful to all those on the pta they are great in our area and make the school the hub of the community.

If anyone wants to moan about it why don't THEY have a go?

chocoluvva · 01/03/2015 11:38

Perhaps THEY wanted to be chair......

not stirring at all - honest - flutters eyelashes

ArabellaRockerfella · 01/03/2015 13:17

I have had to supervise a PTA school disco on a few occasions and the most accidents occur when the 'playful' boys are flinging each other around, skidding on their knees and acting the fool! I often go up to them and ask them to stop, I don't want other children to get hurt. I have no qualms about doing it when their parents are just watching and letting it happen, it is a safety issue and the PTA would be the first to get accused of being neglectful if a child was injured.
So please control your child in future.

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