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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be angry with the chairperson of the PTA

128 replies

tully67 · 27/02/2015 21:28

at a school disco my son was playing with another boy on the dance floor. Play fighting but not in such a way to annoy any other children. She wen up to them, put her hands on both my son's shoulders and told him to stop it. She said nothing to the other boy. There were older boys running around (it was the Y1-3 disco) from Y6 and Y7 including her son and nothing was said to them. I was standing in the hall at the time alone watching him. I was so mad I left (there was only 10 mins left!!). I didn't say anything to her at the time because I was too cross. I will not see her at the school and was thinking of writing to her as Chair of the PTA or speaking to the Head teacher.

OP posts:

ssd · 28/02/2015 14:58

fair enough I just know plenty of people on the PTA on a definite power trip

temporarilyjerry · 28/02/2015 15:01

Oh ssd what a disappointing reaction to being told people disagree with you. You are supposed to flounce off.

ssd · 28/02/2015 15:06

can't say I don't take a tellin'!!

BigFatGoalie · 28/02/2015 15:15

Pretty sure the OP has made it back to Nethuns by now...

Big hug Hun! Mwah!

Hakluyt · 28/02/2015 15:29

Exactly what sort of power are PTA people supposed to be tripping on? Use of the Booker's card? Access to the teabag and squash cupboard? The privilege of keeping the component bits of the Christmas Grotto in your loft?

ssd · 28/02/2015 15:36

IME Hakluyt, ensuring your child has certain conditions at exam time, through private words with teachers, nothing dodgy, just making sure your child has everything possible to enable them to sit an exam,, extra time, private room etc cant say anymore but trust me I seen it happen.

GoodArvo · 28/02/2015 15:44

ssd Extra exam time? How ridiculous. I'm on the PTA. My children don't get the lead roles in plays, extra exam time or anything else. My kids are the ones helping at school events, because they are aware that events don't happen by magic.

Play fighting at a disco is very annoying and I would tell a kid not to, especially if his mother was looking at him like his behaviour was adorable.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 28/02/2015 15:50

Fastest flounce ever! Hope you didn't let the door hit you in the arse on the way out OP.

ilovesooty · 28/02/2015 15:52

If it's a public exam you can't get special conditions like this.

chocoluvva · 28/02/2015 16:03

Is this for real? OP asks a question without enough detail to tell if she's BU or not - but doesn't acknowledge that her DS probably shouldn't have been play-fighting at a disco and flounces.

No one is willing to accept one lonely poster's assertion that some heads of PTAs are on a power trip.

Beats me why they hold discos for little ones anyway - very loud music and over-excited little ones running around......

Bah humbug I say.

Hakluyt · 28/02/2015 16:04

"IME Hakluyt, ensuring your child has certain conditions at exam time, through private words with teachers, nothing dodgy, just making sure your child has everything possible to enable them to sit an exam,, extra time, private room etc cant say anymore but trust me I seen it happen." So what happened when you queried this with the governing body/head teacher?

arlagirl · 28/02/2015 16:07

Ah yes, chairs of PTAs are on power trips.
That old chestnut.
You sound unhinged.

ilovesooty · 28/02/2015 16:14

The answer to that question from Hakluyt would be very interesting.

Tobyjugg · 28/02/2015 16:15

YAB totally U (assuming you're still reading this). Highwaydragon has it right.

fredfredsausagehead1 · 28/02/2015 16:16

For your own sake and embarrassment just leave this!

I understand it annoyed you at the time and changed your attitude towards PTA lady but it is very trivial.

Also agree a disco is not for play fighting and both sets of parents should have stopped it.

I guess PTA lady was just trying to keep everything in order.

fredfredsausagehead1 · 28/02/2015 16:17

They hold discos for the children btw simple answer

fredfredsausagehead1 · 28/02/2015 16:19

So what if they're on a power trip too FFs! They're the ones putting in the time and effort, they deserve the power trip

tobysmum77 · 28/02/2015 16:29

yabu

It's this type of attitude that makes people unwilling to do pta committee positions.

DustyGold · 28/02/2015 16:32

If everyone on PTA or a governor considered to be on a power trip it makes roles rather thankless.
Guess that those who offer their time in these roles just need to develop a very thick skin.
Certainly Never expect any thanks.....
Lots of whingers in your average playground I find....

Summeblaze · 28/02/2015 16:32

I could have written your post Fryonefat.

Ended up being the chair of our PTA a year ago because no one else wanted to do it. It's a thankless task with lots of hard work, decision making and time out of your day. None of the people on our committee are on a power trip and are all extremely approachable.

I spend more time with my kids as instead of dropping them off at the party and going for a coffee, I am there to enjoy watching them having fun. They come and set up with me and clear away and makes them appreciate that these thing don't happen by magic.

My DD is in year 6 and has never had more than a line in a school play and no other benefits other than most of her friends know who her mum is ( that may not be a benefit).

I am not Superman and have never claimed to be.

tobysmum77 · 28/02/2015 16:33

hahaha and I'm on the pta, nothing to do with power tripping believe me but because it was going to collapse. Before you all criticise why not get off your own arses and do something?

I could seriously do without it believe me, I work in a demanding job nearly full time. I dont have enough time to do the job properly and would love to find someone else keen to do a better job, but people just can't be bothered. It's sad.

tobysmum77 · 28/02/2015 16:33

And yes I possess a thick skin.

chocoluvva · 28/02/2015 16:34

Depends why they're putting in the time and effort.

I feel a bit sorry for OP even though she was probably unreasonable to condone the play-fighting. She obviously thinks the other mum was BU - which she might or might not have been - there isn't enough info to tell. Perhaps she does have issues with OP's DS and unfairly 'singled him out'. But according to this thread it's barely possible to even consider that the OP might have a point.

Shame she didn't say more about why she feels this woman is on a 'power trip'. Or explain herself more....

Once I started a thread indirectly about my anger at a mum who was acting a bit irresponsibly and manipulatively . In retrospect some of my views probably were a bit unreasonable - though my view about this woman was sadly more and more confirmed as time went on. Anyway, by the end of the thread, posters were saying how lovely this woman probably was which was at odds with the people in RL who knew her.

the pitfalls of online forums I guess.

ooerrmissus · 28/02/2015 16:36

I'm the chair of our PTA and yes, we are all on power trips.

Cos we just get so much from being allowed to use the photocopier without asking.

On a serious note, if you are involved with the PTA it can mean spending quite a lot of time in school, talking to the teachers etc in order to set up discos and whatnot. I can quite see how, if my child were to get the lead role in the school play (never gonna happen) someone might put two and two together and get five.

chocoluvva · 28/02/2015 16:37

No-one has said that every pta chair is on a power trip.

Well done to everyone who has reluctantly given up their time to take it on. I'd almost rather die than speak in public or chair a meeting

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