The wedding thread to trump all wedding threads ... Ever.

[ShadowsShadowsEverywhere]

Oh you can't even begin to prepare yourself for this one ...
My friend is getting married next year. I was chatting to him about it recently as plans are starting to take shape. He told me that they are having two full ceremonies. One for family and work colleagues, and "a few select friends" and then a SECOND full ceremony ... Which he described, and I quote, as "a kinky wedding for all our liberal friends" which I'm apparently invited to!

I'm speaking to him tomorrow ... I shall try and gain more information.

I bet they're going to copy Beth and Kirkie in Coronation Street. They and all most of their guests turned up in eighties-style clothes and hairstyles.

It will be no ore kinky than that.

The kinky one probably isn't legally binding, so they've got to do the two

Both the ones I attended were at registry offices, perfectly legal.

Sex people always talk about their sex lives in my experience.
this seems odd if they aren't active on the fetish scene.

Ooh friend has just pointed out that he did have a moulin rouge themed 16th birthday party .... I believe everyone wore red and he had a long cigarette holder thingy and a velvet dinner jacket ... Maybe that's his idea of kinky?

I'm intrigued by the prospect of this 2nd wedding OP, and hope you find out more info soon!

I know a (married) couple who got joined together in a 'collaring' ceremony- where they are kind of bound to each other in the context of the BDSM relationship- the (very well attended) ceremony included symbolic stripping and whipping, as well as the submissive partner being 'collared' with an actual collar!

I thought it was all a bit mad (BDSM's not for me, I mean), but at the same time, the whole thing was full of love and commitment. The couple are, on the surface, incredibly straight laced (middle class professionals, everyday clothes, middle aged etc), but they have a whole other relationship/ sex dynamic in their lives. (They are very involved in the local kink community, I'm not sure exactly what that involves, but I know it does involve BDSM activities of some kind with other people). They are genuinely lovely people, but I have to say I find their kink side is something I'd (being a bit prudish) rather not dwell on!

I await your updates with fascination!

Do you think he actually doesn't know what "kinky" means?!

Maybe he just thinks it means "relaxed" and would be aghast at this thread ;-)

This all sounds very strange. My friend who is a sex person never stops going on about it, so I thought they were all like that...!

I wonder what the kinky ceremony will involve?

Sorry, should clarify my previous post- 'The couple are, on the surface, incredibly straight laced (middle class professionals, everyday clothes, middle aged etc), but they have a whole other relationship/ sex dynamic in their lives.' -

What I mean is, people who know them through work/ personally, even really quite well, would never guess their kinky side existed.

Oh it could be the other way round then, he kinky one is the legal one and the bland one is a religious ceremony (that aren't always legal marriages)...

I've not been to a kinky wedding, although I've been to a couple of alternative weddings where te couple also had to do a registry office wedding as well for legal side. Having 2 weddings does open up lots of possibilities for unusual locations if your not restricted to venues with marriage licences, can give them the opportunity to be a lot more creative. This might not be a good thing from a guest perspective...

Yes I wonder if he doesn't know what kinky actually is and therefore doesn't really understand what he's got himself in for.

I really hope that isn't the case! Love a good wedding thread more than I like weddings!

When will you get the invitation?!!

Do you think he understands "kinky" as something different? My mum often uses this word to mean "unusual" rather than in a sexual context iyswim.

Do you think you could ask him exactly what he means by kinky because you're a bit concerned tbh?

I am guessing he wants to have a sub/dom wedding with 'alternative' vows, more true to what he wants from his marriage but not appropriate for his parents etc. But you're invited because it's his 'true' wedding so he still wants to commit in front of his community.

So called kinky first dance!

Oh dear!

I reckon he's got wind of the fact that you think he has "zero sense of humour" and is having so much fun watching you pass this "news" onto all your friends

I'd assume it was a collaring or very similar. I wonder why he thinks it's something you'd want to attend (as I get the impression from this thread that kink lifestyles aren't your thing)?

You have to ask him !

I hope it's child free!!

Love a good wedding thread!

Too many good wedding threads on here tonight.

You have to ask him outright (and let us know straight away )

I want to go to a kinky wedding! I need to befriend this man asap.

I am in the midst of a conversation with him right now. Trying to steer it towards the wedding plans, he's asking all sorts of questions about my DD (his goddaughter) who was v poorly recently. It's lovely of him but I feel I'm letting mumsnet down if I don't get more info

my daughter's fine now are you going to tell me what this kinky wedding is all about or what