to laugh at this second-hand wedding drama?

[kitchentableagain]

It's second hand because it's actually happening to someone I know vaguely on FB who is in America.

She is getting married! And man, does everybody need to know about it! So far she's had:

An engagement shower (which seemed to be a party just for her thrown by her mother)

An engagement party (for the couple and potential invites to the wedding)

A wedding shower (same again?)

A bachelorette party (hen do)

Sent out save the dates (which I'd never heard of before her fb post about "looking out for them"), invitations, RSVP cards. And on and on.

Many many public dramas on the way, including rants about the fact that some people RSVP'd "sorry I can't attend" AFTER getting their save the date cards - she sent the save the dates SEVENTEEN MONTHS before the wedding. I'm sure most people had lost them by the time the correct year rolled around!

Anyway the wedding is this weekend (yay! An end to it all!). This week's FB drama is that people are cancelling last minute. She posted a screen grab of a text convo today though that has had me scraping my chin all day (my jaw is on the floor). It said:

Friend: Wanted to warn you hun, I won't be able to make it on Saturday. I'm so sorry. I'll call you tonight.
Bride: You know what, DON'T call me. You're the second to do this. So sick of selfish people wrecking my special day.
Friend: Mum died this morning.

Bride is on FB asking her friend list AIBU to think that "if her mum died on Monday then she could totally attend a wedding on Saturday".

Amazing.

And before anyone says it, yes I know I should unfollow/unfriend but I am shamefully addicted to this stuff...

also am I allowed to have temporary wedding puppies as a birthday or christmas thing (or are they strictly wedding day only) ??

Just because I wants them!! summer bbq outside type party obviously so they don't wee all over the carpets and eat my shoes like a passing andrex ad...

I have to go out tonight but am tempted to make my excuses so I can drink wine and await updates on Bridezilla. But I have to go so I am also shamelessly place marking (and adapting the thread into a screenplay).

This is possibly the most entertaining thread I have ever read.

A little bit of wee came out when I read

And
The 'How not to be a cunt' book

Fantastically entertaining I say

By my calculations, rehearsal fallout should be reaching Facebook by breakfast time GMT tomorrow.

Even this bride surely wouldn't post on the day until she gets to bed, which again would be approximately breakfast time GMT on Sunday.

Making OP's username (kitchentableagn) amusingly apt.

How Not To Be A Cunt

Chapter 1

When planning a party one must always resist the urge to publicly show disappointment at the prospect of cancellations, particularly due to unexpected events such as bereavement. Of course the full extent of behind the scenes preparation is exhausting but it is decidedly unseemly to value one's own efforts above personal tragedies among guests. In such an inconvenient situation one must maintain decorum and convey empathy...

Binkleflip How DARE you want wedding puppies at your birthday!! You know VERY WELL that I wanted that FIRST!!!!!

I so totally wish that OP would at least post a time zone for the big event. I'm in the US so I'd be able to watch MN for updates in 'real time'.

MrsHathaway Don't be so sure. Brides (and others) have been known to post to FB during actual events (including childbirth!!).

there are plenty of puppies to go around, I will have these cute happy blue ones (although I may have to adjust the colour scheme slightly) and you can have these sleepy quiet dead ones

Binkle

good going

I'm thinking

"Forewords:

Before you act or speak force yourself to ask the question "Is this cuntish behaviour?"
If the answer is on the Yes to Might be end of the scale just don't do it.
If the answer is No or Not Sure - double check with MN, instead of your friends and family

Rule #1: Don't be a cunt"
Rule #2: Don't listen to cunts"

How's that?

Kitchen, can you make an embroidery sample of Rules #1 & #2 and send it to CuntZilla as a wedding present?

Across

you can have birthday puppies as long as as you don't do it in my birthday month!
sheesh

Lidl is setting up shop soon in some selected markets. Aldi has been around since at least the late 80s.

Where I live the retail and wholesale grocery business used to be a Greek thing, and there are still lots of small, Greek- family-run grocery stores in urban areas that are affiliated to the Central Grocery Co-op and stock Centrella house brand stuff, plus local chains (in the midwest anyway) like Ultra Foods, SuperTony's Finer Foods, Treasure Island (all three Centrella and some owned by Greek families) that are not related to the Safeway or Kroger chains. And also Piggly Wiggly. Plus there are lots of Hispanic supermercados, and Italian and Polish groceries for blackcurrant flavoured essentials.

Binkie It's a deal. The blue puppies don't match my colour scheme, anyway. I'd tell you what my colour scheme is but I'm afraid someone will steal it. The quiet puppies will enhance the tranquility of the overall 'theme' of my party.

Zing I wouldn't dream of stealing your birthday month! I'm sure after all that 'preshush sneauxflaykes' like us don't share a birthday month with 'ordinary people'.

I have my birthday in Zinguary. it's the 13th months nobody knows about!

You can also have multiple showers! His family, your family, your work friends, your college friends, your friends you both hang out with. Depends on geography and whether or not any of the groups intersect. Showers used to be mainly for ladies and gifts were things like china and linen and mixers and toasters. But co-ed is common now, which opens the gift possibilities to man-cave electronics, garden shed items, power tools and such.

Sounds like this bride turned the engagement party (which would be the proper party for her parents to give) into a gift receiving event (which it shouldnt be), because an engagement shower is not a thing. It's like she is trying to do all the formal meals and parties she has heard of any bride ever, anywhere do, to maximise gifting opportunities. As well as trying to copy celebrity destination weddings maybe? Wonder what her parents do that they can afford this?

Even if many guests are from out of town, the in-town family would usually absorb some meal hosting opportunities for sub-sets of family and friends. Wedding guests wouldnt expect more than the rehearsal dinner (formerly grooms family, but often now any out-of-towners) and the wedding and reception. Unlike the UK, the whole guest list is invited to both. If you can't afford to feed everyone, the reception can be as minimal as a recieving line in the church hall for an hour after, just long enough for the B&G to 'recieve' everyone, cut the cake and hand it out with a glass of non-booze punch, or coffee. Possibly catered by a group of church ladies. This used to be the most common in the mostly officially tee-total southeast when I was a child. Only really wealthy (in the south) had a sit-down meal, and dancing depended on your religion. Up north was more about meals and dancing and drinking. That's changed in the last 30 years, since my first, southern, marriage.

My cousin had six baby showers. I kid you not.

I'm miles behind on the thread, just got to the glass coasters as breakfast favours. Perhaps when they divorce, the guests will be able to trade coasters, depending on which team they are on? You know like team Andre and Team Katie.

Aldi is here already in the form of Aldi and trader joes. They are careful to make sure that no one knows that trader joes is not american. Aldi is geared towards lowest income groups. Very little in the way of fresh food and much of what is there is substandard. Trader joes is fab.

forgot to say that this bride sounds like she is from Long Island and living in NJ but given the hunting references and army I would hazard a guess at somewhere further south.

The order of priorities in the north is drinking, meals, dancing.

Aldi has improved massively since I first arrived in the US. The local one was the first place I tried grocery shopping when I first arrived and I was very underwhelmed by the dingyness, the half dozen scraggy iceberg lettuces and no other choices in sight, the sad looking carrots and withered green peppers. None of them around here could now be called substandard -- nice fresh veg and fruit sections plus good meat and dairy. Frozen fruit and veg are great quality (green beans from the Netherlands are excellent) and value. And there are lots of German items including chocolate, and decent wine from all over. They tend to keep it a huge secret that Trader Joes has any link to Aldi however..

They do a lot of hunting in Wisconsin. Just saying...

Math I never knew you were from Ireland living in the States.

Math- I wish our Aldi was better because I would go there. Part of deciding where to move to was finding a town with ShopRite. Here in NJ they are the best value for money.

Agree lots of hunting in Wisconsin but I don't recall the females being so awful.

Shamelessly place marking! Cant wait to hear about what happens at the actual wedding!

Aldi entering the US market was one reason why Tesco tried it on with their very Aldi like Fresh Express, sized and priced to go into food desert type areas. But, they didnt make it.

Well, if The BZ is on the East Coast, rehearsal stuff should be getting underway soon.