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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to laugh at this second-hand wedding drama?

606 replies

kitchentableagain · 24/02/2015 14:03

It's second hand because it's actually happening to someone I know vaguely on FB who is in America.

She is getting married! And man, does everybody need to know about it! So far she's had:

An engagement shower (which seemed to be a party just for her thrown by her mother)

An engagement party (for the couple and potential invites to the wedding)

A wedding shower (same again?)

A bachelorette party (hen do)

Sent out save the dates (which I'd never heard of before her fb post about "looking out for them"), invitations, RSVP cards. And on and on.

Many many public dramas on the way, including rants about the fact that some people RSVP'd "sorry I can't attend" AFTER getting their save the date cards - she sent the save the dates SEVENTEEN MONTHS before the wedding. I'm sure most people had lost them by the time the correct year rolled around!

Anyway the wedding is this weekend (yay! An end to it all!). This week's FB drama is that people are cancelling last minute. She posted a screen grab of a text convo today though that has had me scraping my chin all day (my jaw is on the floor). It said:

Friend: Wanted to warn you hun, I won't be able to make it on Saturday. I'm so sorry. I'll call you tonight.
Bride: You know what, DON'T call me. You're the second to do this. So sick of selfish people wrecking my special day.
Friend: Mum died this morning.

Bride is on FB asking her friend list AIBU to think that "if her mum died on Monday then she could totally attend a wedding on Saturday".

Amazing.

And before anyone says it, yes I know I should unfollow/unfriend but I am shamefully addicted to this stuff... Blush

OP posts:
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7
Thumbwitch · 26/02/2015 07:26

I know exactly who didn't come to my wedding and why! I think the "wasting however much per head of absent guest" rather sharpens the memory Wink

Only 4 absentees, 3 of whom were elderly and one of whom was in hospital (my mum)

momb · 26/02/2015 08:08

I think we had some no-shows but as we didn't have a sit down meal there were no obvious spaces so I'm a bit hazy. The only one I do remember is some distant cousin of my Mums whom she'd insisted I invite who had RSVPd to say that he, his wife and about 10 children/grandchildren would be attending, so I replied sorry but we only have room for the two of them. He replied saying of course they understood and looked forward to meeting us and then just didn't turn up. As we'd never met them (and probably never will) it was no great disappointment.
No Bridezilla posts overnight? It's only 3 days away: she should be posting pictures of her honeymoon-ready bikini waxing by now!!!

Original poster
kitchentableagain · 26/02/2015 08:16

Nope her feed is full of a countdown and "so much to do!" remarks. I feel bad actually. Even though her initial drama was mindblowing, she's gone a bit damp squibbish now hasn't she? If we get really desperate I can dig through her timeline for some drama, I seem to remember a big blow up about one of the many showers.

I can't wait to hear the actual details of the wedding though, there have been so many hints about half the weird and tacky stuff you lot have mentioned (for instance last year she said on her timeline 'someone just told me live animals and weddings don't go together.. well see you in 2015 to prove them wrong bitches!' so I'm pretty sure she IS having animals! And she has made references to ice sculptures!

OP posts:
Magmatic80 · 26/02/2015 08:46

I hope at the very least she arrives on a horse

NoWireCoathangers · 26/02/2015 09:07

Just wait for the relationship status to change from married to 'it's complicated' to the save the date cards for the Divorce/Newly Single party!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 26/02/2015 09:10

If its birds, she must remember that being shat on is meant to be good luck.

durhamgirl · 26/02/2015 09:21

I feel inadequate that I got married in a registry office and came back and had a BBQ in the back garden now! Was fab though and low maintenance just like me ;)

oldcroneat39 · 26/02/2015 09:25

Hang on the Groom is a hunter. There could be some pretty grim animals. That is. They're not into taxidermy as well are they?

Original poster
kitchentableagain · 26/02/2015 09:31

durhamgirl I'm getting married soon. I don't even know that date because the registry staff are just going to tell us what day they'll have spare staff to witness it handy when we go to pay/put the forms in (sometime this or next week hopefully)! There are no guests, no dress, flowers, cake. No meal afterwards, not barbecue or anything like that. We might grab a coffee on the way back if our babysitter can cope with keeping the kids a bit longer.

I'm not the marrying type.

OP posts:
Original poster
kitchentableagain · 26/02/2015 09:32

oldcrone I spat my tea out! Maybe they will shoot hogs at the wedding breakfast and eat them at the wedding reception...

OP posts:
MerryMarigold · 26/02/2015 09:42

The gollum is CLASSIC wish I'd thought of it. Not dh's scene, though I loved it. And the other brides so wussy and prudish. Fantastic!

Pokeymont · 26/02/2015 09:42

please tell us where in the US this is happening? I used to live in the states and I'm curious

Lweji · 26/02/2015 09:58

'someone just told me live animals and weddings don't go together.. well see you in 2015 to prove them wrong bitches!'

Told you she'd have bitches.

But it looks like she has been deleting most people who told her off for the dead mother crisis. I bet everyone else is afraid to post or has been blocked anyway.

Lweji · 26/02/2015 10:00

Love the Gollum (although I'm not sure why he'd want to do that part anyway)

Lweji · 26/02/2015 10:01

I'm not the marrying type.

It looks like you are the marrying type, just not the wedding type.

Zucker · 26/02/2015 10:06

This is just the calm before the storm for this dream pair. We need to be bunker down and get the tea and cakes in.

Anniegetyourgun · 26/02/2015 10:11

The groom did look quite like Gollum at my wedding, but it wasn't a disguise.

Sorry...

Teacupinastorm · 26/02/2015 10:11

Shameless place mark. Off work till Monday and my telly is broken. This is my entertainment!

iklboo · 26/02/2015 10:37

GShockllum!!!!

HeadFairy · 26/02/2015 10:43

Love this thread.... I do enjoy a bit of third party bridezilla action, just as long as I'm not involved.

I had a big wedding, because I have a huge family, and we spent a lot, but on sensible things like food and drink, not on favours or silly shit. Or my dress. Or my shoes (I also wore flip flops, you couldn't bloody see my feet anyway!)
We did have some people pull out, one family because they felt uncomfortable coming to London because of the risk of terrorist attack... to be fair they live in a tiny rural community so London can be a bit scary at times, so I wasn't too hacked off, the reception venue had catered for them (it was a family of six) so we gave their meals to anyone who wanted seconds.

mummytime · 26/02/2015 10:52

kitchentableagain - you are really spoiling things - you could have had a proper MN wedding -with some nice MNers (randoms off the internet) to witness it! [pout]

I did totally wreck my wedding - I even walked to the service (about 100 yards) and didn't have favors as I didn't see why I should pay out a lot for sugared almonds (who really likes sugared almonds?).

Lots of people didn't make it as we had a freak snowstorm - I've forgiven them all. The venue actually refunded us some money and turned the wine allowance into a free bar. (I didn't even both claiming on the wedding insurance.)

JoffreyBaratheon · 26/02/2015 11:11

I thought nothing on earth would ever persuade me to get married again/re-new my voes but Gollum.... Genius!

JoffreyBaratheon · 26/02/2015 11:12
  • vows - although 'voes' is a cross between 'woes' and 'vows' so I suppose is apt. Smile
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/02/2015 11:14

The Gollum thing has reminded me - wasn't there a MNer who was getting married, and asked her little sister, who has Downs Syndrome, to be the ring bearer. The little sister, who coincidentally is a huge Lord of the Rings fan, thought this meant she would be the bearer of The ring - ie. Frodo, and would be wearing a hobbit costume.

The MNer decided to go with this, and her sister was her ring bearer, in full Frodo costume - it was one of the loveliest, most heartwarming things I have ever read!

Bogeyface · 26/02/2015 11:16

There was SDT, I remember that too!