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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To phone DH work and ask his boss for leave.

74 replies

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 23/02/2015 22:52

As a suprise for DH, dd and Ds birthday ( all within a fortnight of each other) I'm planning a suprise weekend away.

Just paid the deposit, but I need DH to have the Friday and Monday off.

I have booked it at a quite time of the year for DH works. Would I be able to ring his boss and ask for the time off in secret or is this against employment laws.

OP posts:
trappedinsuburbia · 23/02/2015 22:58

No a lady i work with husband did this as a suprise for her, sounds great.

Blink1982 · 23/02/2015 23:02

I did it once for an x, go for it.

AShiningTiger · 23/02/2015 23:04

I did it too. Boss was ok with it. Go for it.

Hulbbabubbs · 23/02/2015 23:04

Sounds lovely :)

Where are you planning on going (sorry, I'm a nosy cow!)

Go for it and have a great time!

PintofCiderPlease · 23/02/2015 23:07

I did it once, as long as you specify its a surprise you can get away with it.

But don't EVER ring and ask your DH's boss for your DH to have less/more hours, more leave etc on his behalf. It will backfire massively.

Also, don't ever try to chat to the Boss's wife and try via that route - the number of people who tried it with me was utterly ridiculous.

Original poster
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 23/02/2015 23:13

Only butlins, but we all enjoy butlins.

DH has the leave to cover it.

OP posts:
loveableshoulder · 24/02/2015 05:55

I've done this for a trip in July.

Now DH is on about taking that week off himself...aargh!

Pensionerpeep · 24/02/2015 06:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nolim · 24/02/2015 06:37

I would not to that. You are putting the boss in a dificuly situation.
But then i am not a surprise person.

livefastlove · 24/02/2015 06:45

It depends on what his boss is like, what does your DH think of him? Is he quite nice and a little flexible about rules? If so then yes. Also if you think your DH would not mind.

ajandjjmum · 24/02/2015 06:46

I did this for DH's 30th, and his boss was going to say he wanted him for an all day meeting, so not to put anything in his diary.

Unfortunately the travel agent (was a long time ago!) decided to ignore the written in red ink message on the front of the file saying 'DO NOT CONTACT HUSBAND', and phoned to announce to my bemused DH 'Your tickets for Paris have arrived'.

mameulah · 24/02/2015 10:32

I would not do this.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 24/02/2015 10:38

I've had a family member ring me to ask this and it was fine. It was a 60th birthday surprise trip to New York for one week.

I only stipulated that if she started to book more leave off and it would leave her short I wanted to have the phone number of the family member as I couldn't authorise more leave than she was entitled to. They would therefore need to spill the beans. As it happens it was fine.

A lovely idea and no harm in asking at all.

Shesparkles · 24/02/2015 10:39

Under these circumstances, definitely go for it. How else could you keep it a surprise!

Bogeyface · 24/02/2015 10:40

It would depend. I would have done it with his last boss and the one before. I think I would probably be ok with this boss at a push, although I havent met him so I would tread carefully.

InfinitySeven · 24/02/2015 10:41

I would be utterly mortified if DP did this.

It's just not done in a professional environment. For a start, if he works for a big company, he'll need to mention it to his boss, then put it through the system so it's officially authorised and HR are aware.

Bogeyface · 24/02/2015 10:41

Also, I think I would have asked the boss before I paid the deposit in case the boss says no. There could be anything going on that weekend that you dont know about, so I would have definitely asked first than risk losing the deposit.

ChipDip · 24/02/2015 10:44

Does he work in a professional environment because I definitely would not do it then?
It's very, very unprofessional and would put his boss in an awkward position.

flipchart · 24/02/2015 10:44

I would be mad if DH had already booked the break without booking the leave as only two people can be off at once quite often they are. There are other conditions as well. Nearly all the time it's fine but people have had leave, even two days like this turned down.

DontTurnAround · 24/02/2015 10:45

I would and did for my husbands 30th. No problems at all and he loved the surprise

Bowlersarm · 24/02/2015 10:46

No I wouldn't. I find it quite cringey and unprofessional.

Heels99 · 24/02/2015 10:52

I work for a multinational company and it would be fine and not unprofessional at all. I work in HR and we do not 'need to be aware' of holidays, we have 25 000 employees I couldn't give a hoot when they take their holidays and have no visibility of it.

I would do it, it's a lovely idea. Not unprofessional at all.

inabeautifulplace · 24/02/2015 10:52

I think it could be ok. You'd have to be mindful of a couple of factors though. He will be planning his workload around those days, so you'd have to give him some notice. I would also not tell his boss that it's already booked.

Youvegotthelove · 24/02/2015 10:53

I think it totally depends on what kind of environment he works in. When I worked in a pub, I would have had no objection to my DH asking my manager. We were all friends, we socialized together and the whole set-up (rotas etc.) was very flexible.

I now work for a large government organization and would be absolutely mortified if DH contacted anyone, for any reason, without me knowing.

It reminds of a time when I set my out-of-office to say something like 'I am away from blah blah...in my absence please contact my colleague blah blah' and I got back from my holiday to find out that my Granddad had emailed my colleague asking 'where's Youvegot gone to then?' Blush

Heels99 · 24/02/2015 10:53

Why is it unprofessional for gods sake!?!