to take dd on holiday without DH?

[Knottingnotknitting]

DH and I got married abroad last October. We had a great time but there was some friction between my dh and my dm and dsis over my nieces behaviour (she is 7) and also the amount my sister drank. (A lot) Dh and my sister have never really seen eye to eye tbh.

My sister has a significant birthday coming up, and my parents are taking her and her two children away on holiday as a treat. (She is a LP) They have also offered to pay for dd (3) and I to join them. This is because I had a significant birthday last year, when they were having cash flow problems, and because ill health in October means my dm spent the day of my wedding in agony and unable to help me into my dress, get ready etc. She also missed the reception. Dm has a debilitating illness that is not going to improve, and will probably be wheelchair bound at some point in the future. She has also had extensive cancer treatment.

It is during the Easter break, and dh has work Mon- Fri, and gigs that he can't cancel Thurs, Fri, Sat and Sunday night. I work Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturdays.

The holiday is all inclusive, so we would need very little spending money.

Dh is horrified that I would want to go without him, he says 'we are a family and should holiday together'

I should also add, in the interest of not drip feeding, that they are going for two weeks, but I have already said I would only go for the second week as feel two weeks is a bit unfair on dh.

AIBU to want a holiday with my parents, sister, daughter and nieces whilst my mother is still well enough to do so, or should I forfeit the holiday, and carry on as usual so that I can spend three evenings with dh that week?

I would rather include my dh or not go. Our parents and in-laws have paid for us before- all of us at a time to suit every one. Only read your post not your extas but going on that YABU

YANBU I went on a family holiday to Egypt with DS and my parents and siblings and it was great. DH didn't grudge us the trip at all

I just don't get this sacredness about holidays and travel at all. Being part of a family does not mean you are stuck together with physical glue and aren't allowed experiences without all the other members.

YANBU. Does your DH really want you and DD sat around at home, missing out on spending time with the rest of your family, just because he can't go? That strikes me as incredibly selfish!

Yanbu. I can't relate to the mind set some people have that once you're in an established relationship or marriage, you become a single entity that cannot be parted.
Go...and have a good time.

YANBU of course you should go. Your husband will be working anyway and he should be able to cope for a few evenings alone. I would be off like a shot!

Yanbu, he is a selfish arse.
He rather you stayed home than went on an all inclusive break with dd and your family, enjoying yourself with your mum before her health declines, a free trip in the sunshine. He doesn't have to put up with your sister either.
He would prefer your parents to pay for the 3 of you to go on holiday at a later date? greedy isn't the word.

I regularly take my dc away without Dp. My dad lives abroad so I go once or twice a year there, and at other times to stay with other UK based family. I'm a sahm, he's self employed and can't swan off during the whole of the school holidays. If he suggested we didn't go because he couldn't, I'd show a wet kipper to the side of his face! But then, we have 3dc so it's luxury for him spending a week on his own - lucky bastard!

In those circumstances, my dh would want me to go on holiday with my dd and family. I don't know if it's because he travels a lot abroad for work, but he would want me to take advantage of the opportunity,

Your dh ibu and selfish.
I'm a sahm, the dc have approx 15 weeks holiday per year. Dh gets 4. Of course I go on holiday without him, sometimes with family.

You should go for the full TWO weeks you were offered and your knobhead DH should grow up.
This is time with your mother you can never get back and it is also celebrating a big occasion for your sister.
Just as important: your DD shouldn't be prevented by her self-centered dad from having a decent holiday.

YANBU! I regularly go away with my kids and leave DH at home. Actually I've just taken my DSD as well my DC and left DH at home as he had to work. Think he appreciates the peace....I know I would....fairly sure he gets the better deal!

Go for it.

of course you and your dd should go. why on earth should your sick mother have to wait around indefinitely and spend thousands more for him to grace you all with his presence. how bloody selfish.

He's a grown man he can cope on hos own ffs and doesn't need his little wifey at home waiting war geeky for him to finish work and expect dinner on the table maybe??

any normal dh would be packing your bags for you and taking a day off so you can go shopping for it without dd.

don't you dare not go!!!

waiting all eager - excuse typos

I go away a couple of times a year without DH, he loves it.

He doesn't have to waste his annual leave with my parents, and he gets child free fifa time.

Think your DH is being unfair.

There's the Aesop fable of "the dog in the manger". Dog doesn't eat grass, but he gets in the manger because if he can't have it, why should horse?

I used to tell this to 5 year olds ... maybe your DH needs a trip to the kids library.

Selfish arse. It's his own fault of he doesn't get on with your family, he can deal with it himself ... why should you and lo lose out?