J'Accuse... I do not believe a sizeable minority on here when they say "I blah blah blah"

[Salmotrutta]

E.g. :-
"I cook from scratch" - I hate "from scratch". We used to say "everything was homemade".

And those of you who state "homemade potato wedges" ? ...yeah, I'm impressed. So that would be some potatoes shoved in the oven then?

Lots of stealthy labour posts have rocked up, how cute

The posters who answer everything with 'no is a complete sentence'
Like we all stroll about saying 'no' and smiling, not being the seething passive aggressive fish wives we know ourselves to be.

Dd had so much intervention from conception to bottle feeding that I was sure she had "made in China" stamped on her arse. I was very much a passenger to the whole thing. Mother Nature and I are not close friends.

I never made a birth plan for any of my three. I just couldn't see the point of trying to plan the unpredictable.

I had two "natural" deliveries and one emergency c-section. I preferred the section.

Horror of horrors, I chose to bottle feed. I began weaning them at three months. They seem to have survived it.

Baby led weaning is bollocks. As if setting food out for baby to play with is anything new!! Mine loved nothing more than pureed fish finger and baked beans. If I put food on the high chair tray for baby to self-wean then baby was far more likely to throw it up the wall or onto the floor than actually eat it.

I gave them all types of shit in a box breakfast cereal and still do.

Packed lunch consists of a sarnie hastily flung together in the morning with a chocolate biscuit of some sort and a packet of crisps, more often than not.

Told you I am a shite mum! When I read some of the sanctimonious claptrap on here I sometimes wonder how I survived my own childhood, and how on earth my children seem to have emerged unscathed from having me as a mother.

Everyone on MN seems to take a whole year of mat leave. There are never those who cannot afford being on SMP and have to go back after 4 months, 6 months, and FT, not PT.

And yy, I chose to give birth at a CLU 2 hours away so I could have an epidural. I was too late for one with DD2 and did not feel empowered or great about it. I felt like I was being disembowled. There was no way I was going through that again.

I feel so at home! Truth be told, I cannot wait to have kids as it gives me an excuse to be the utter slattern I currently am and will stop people asking if I know that my ponytail is crooked - was it a bad morning?

And to the PP - yes about "oh, my DH has never seen porn, we are morally against the blatant exploitation and degredation of women". I say to you this - he's seen it. We watched it together. And then we acted it out together. cue Wednesday Addams- esque psycho smile

I don't, either, Confused.

I never read the What's for Dinner threads.

I don't really care what other people are having for dinner.

...unless of course I'm invited

I don't believe those people who say they're always eating kale

The fish finger angst is fairly baffling. I do remember a thread a while back where the poster said she had given fish fingers and sweetcorn to a friend's child and the friend was miffed at the poor quality food and loads of people piled on saying 'well I wouldn't be happy if I left my child with you for the day and you fed them that rubbish'. And my fingers were hovering there itching to type 'well, bloody take them home and feed them yourself then, you ungrateful fool'. If my child goes to someone else's house and comes home fed, and happy then it is mission accomplished. I'll save my anger for the unlikely event of dd coming home and saying 'oh, Emma's mum didn't feed me, she gave me some white powder to snort and said it would stop me feeling hungry. It was great, I'd love some more...' Now that would be something it would be worth getting worked up over.

' I do remember a thread a while back where the poster said she had given fish fingers and sweetcorn to a friend's child and the friend was miffed at the poor quality food and loads of people piled on saying 'well I wouldn't be happy if I left my child with you for the day and you fed them that rubbish'.'

I remember that thread. Thought it was bollocks. Friend apparently said the lunch was kind of junky. Who the fuck in real life asks in advance what the lunch is going to be and then tells the host, 'That's kind of junky?' As if it were.

I think they post the idea of what they might cook. Earlier if I'd posted on one of those I'd have said 'sweet potato and spinach curry'. I did make that, the dc refused to eat it and had shreddies. Oh well!

'All the people know who have kids over for tea usually have spaghetti, pizza, chicken nuggets or McDonald's.

No one give a shit, just grateful someone else fed them'

Here it's sausage rolls, wee sausages, pieces with ham or jeely, chicken nuggets and plenty of carb. No one blinks an eye.

I hate the " I have changed my diet to a Vegan one and I feel so much better" and then my mum said to me " yes I forgot to tell you, you were allergic to dairy when you were younger". Absolute rubbish, how can you at the age of forty have forgotten something so important.

If dc have friends over it's cheese and tomato pizza with garlic bread or some sort of novelty shaped potato product, I add beans or chopped pepper on the side as a nod to veg. It's failsafe, they tend to eat it, and I don't think their parents hate me for it.

Yeah, 'What do I serve my teetotal vegan friends?' 'Some dust and a platter of paint drying.' You may not live forever, but it's going to feel like it!

Playdate is an extension of labelling every little thing in the child's life. They can't just go for tea oh no, it has to have a purposeful name to justify it on the family wall planner.

'My husband is 5 minutes late from work. I'm fuming and he isn't answeing the calls ive made'

'Maybe he fell asleep on the train because he's got a thyroid problem, get him to the doctor ASAP!'