J'Accuse... I do not believe a sizeable minority on here when they say "I blah blah blah"

[Salmotrutta]

E.g. :-
"I cook from scratch" - I hate "from scratch". We used to say "everything was homemade".

And those of you who state "homemade potato wedges" ? ...yeah, I'm impressed. So that would be some potatoes shoved in the oven then?

Salmotrutta - I have no idea what just happened to your name

It's a sliced meat with pepper and spices in it. I think the meat itself is pork, but it might not be. It is lush and I am going to start buying it regularly now - much nicer than plain ham.

Think that will cost me syns on slimming world!!!

Psst - I regularly eat out of date stuff and have been known to feed it to guests.

P.s. - we actually don't have "guests".

We just refer to them as "visitors"

I'll actually happily eat meat that is a day or two over date - I figure that if I did what Jamie Oliver and the like tell me to and buy loads of reduced stuff and freeze it, when I take it out of the freezer to defrost it that makes it a day out of date anyway, if you see what I mean.

This stuff wasn't vacuum packed though - it was just a little bag with a sticker on it off the deli. And anyway, I am a greedy bastard.

I always feed the out of date stuff to my children & visitors, that way, they die rather than me.

(None yet, but you didn't see me touching those prawns on Boxing Day).

Those who insist that their child does not need or use a buggy after 18 months. I have not met one mum in RL that has actually done this!

My children could all unicycle after 12 months.

Hound isn't it lovely when they can unicycle so young? I assume he/she could juggle whilst on it?

NO Treacle, they could not juggle, that would be impossible with my tit in their mouth.

I imagine yours were only taking a break from their 50" smart TVs.

I read a post once where it was declared there was no need to buy baked beans as it was so easy to make your own.

I thought then 'these aren't my people'.

I made sure there was a child gate between dd and me at night. I even let her sleep curled up on the floor, arms stretched through, begging to be allowed in to my room. Cos the one time I let her in, would she sleep? Would she bugger. But she pretty quickly nodded off on the floor in the hallway. If it was really cold I thought about putting a blanket over her.

Oh and I do make soup. Because I optimistically buy fresh veg, then DH takes DD to macdonalds and the veg gets old. So I make soup from it.

Love this thread.

My family love healthy food. Their favourite is chocolate. Milk chocolate. Chocolate is made from a bean, so is one of your five a day, don't you know it!? The milk in it gives calcium etc. and sugar is also a natural substance grown in fields.

Only natural ingredients in this house you know.

I love sanctimonious threads too as they are just sooo entertaining to read when you need a good laugh.

I formula fed my babies. Natural formula from natural cows. Made from scratch by me boiling the kettle and adding the powder myself, up to 24 hours in advance and kept in the fridge.

Am feeding DS.
Breast feeding.

Ummmm...... haslet.

Make your own baked beans! That's it I have heard it all now. But I make my own fish fingers with salmon. 8 times the price and 10 times the hassle. I am a bit torn as to who my people are. Anyone else not really fussed about froot shoots but makes their own fish fingers and has a strange set of priorities and standards who tries not to care when they are judged and tries not to judge others?

I am always impressed by cooking from scratch. Dh cooks all ours, and I couldn't imagine being able to do things like that without jars or pre made stuff.

Oh and shock, triple standard twist....

I buy paxo ready made breadcrumbs for my so called homemade fish fingers.

The whole TV thing urgh. Educational programmes featuring David Attenborough only will be viewed because otherwise your children will become corrupt and delinquents as teens as a result of too much CBeebies.

DH has been putting DD in front of Peppa Pig since she was 4 months old. She uses an ipad better than me now. We've taught her life skills at a very young age and I'm just waiting for her to descend into a life of crime at ten months old as a result.

salmontrutta I hope the cardinal sin of feeding your children juice does not keep you awake at night too much

Ah yes 'screen time' and the evils of iPads.

My 8 year old uses iPads in school a lot. They make audio visual presentations on them, illustrated with pie charts and venn diagrams and everything. And they start using them from the day they start school at age 4. When I see parents say that their little snowflake has never been allowed to touch a tablet because 'in our house we don't do screens' it blows my mind. You can bet the same parents would be judging a child of that age who didn't know to turn the pages of a book, but if they don't know how to swipe their finger across a screen it's a badge of honour.

Does anybody here follow the Baby led weaning group on facebook?

You will have a laugh at some posts on there.

Some are obsessed with every single grain of sugar and salt, think cows milk is the devil and obsess over which oat/rice/coconut milk to use. Or just 'nurse nurse nurse' forever and ever! The list is endless.

They all 'cook from scratch' and tear one another apart if it becomes apparent someone has used..... A jarred sauce :-O :-O do you know the sugar/salt/sodium content?!?!?!

Somebody once shared a photo of her kid trying an oreo and the backlash was unreal! An oreo! It's not cocaine fgs!

I would unfollow it if it didn't make me laugh so much!

DD stopped using a buggy at 18 months cause she was a massively stubborn bellend. She was breastfed for 14 months until she self weaned because I'm a massively lazy and tight bellend...she shared my bed from birth because I couldn't be arsed to get out of bed to feed her so let her do the work of latching on herself because I'm a massively lazy bellend.

She eats McDonald's cause I love quarter pounder with cheese meals, she eats Nutella cause she's fucking human and only mutations of nature don't like nutella.

I'm a terrible mother by MN standards but I'm cool with that cause MN standards are insane (is that un PC?)

I'm so glad I've read this thread and realised MN is actually populated with hilarious, awesome, normal parents. I posted in the juice thread and felt like the worst parent on earth for admitting we love Ribena and Robinsons juice. Water is just fucking boring after the first sip.

Also, for tea last night the children had salad cream and crisp sandwiches. If that doesn't have people phoning our health visitor to alert her to the neglect I don't know what will.

Laughing so hard at Hellbound's admission that she's a lazy bellend. You sound brilliant.