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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want a cleaner even though I only work part time?

104 replies

fuddleduck · 21/02/2015 16:19

I work three days a week (leave at 7am get home about 5pm) and DH works full time Mon-Fri (he leaves at 7am and gets home between 7pm and 8pm usually) but also regularly brings work home on weekends. I also occasionally have to bring work home on weekends but not as often as DH. While my job is great in terms of hours and I love it, it is emotionally draining and has a reputation for being a stressful field to work in. Lately I am starting to feel quite overwhelmed by the competing demands of work, looking after a toddler, and trying to keep the house in some kind of order.

I am becoming increasingly stressed out and annoyed with myself about my failure to keep on top of the housework. I am finding it impossible to clean the house properly on my days off with a DD. She will entertain herself for just about long enough to load the dishwasher, do a load of laundry, have a quick tidy round the living room etc but that's about it. She's only 15 months so not enough that I can just stick her in front of a DVD and crack on with cleaning the house.

Consequently, a lot of things get left until the weekend when one of us can look after DD while the other gets on with the cleaning. I am starting to resent this as the weekends are the only time we have together as a family due to DH's working hours and most of it gets taken up with jobs like cleaning, ironing, admin, DIY, batch cooking for the week etc. I also feel guilty because whenever DH suggests going out and doing something nice at the weekend my initial response is "I can't, I need to clean the house!". I dread people dropping round unexpectedly and if we have guests coming over we're both running round like headless chickens trying to sort the house out and it sort of takes the enjoyment out of it for me to be honest. DH is always trying to get me to take time for myself and I do crave a bit of alone time these days but I can't relax and enjoy it as there is always something that needs doing. DH is great, very willing to help out around the house but he doesn't have a lot of time and also he doesn't seem to notice the mess as much as me so he'll say "it's fine" when in my mind the place looks like a tip.

I am so tempted to throw money at the problem (even though we're not exactly wealthy) and get a cleaner. I keep thinking about how much it would reduce my stress and although it might be expensive I think I'd rather cut back on other things and not have to worry about the housework while DD is little. Even just a fortnightly clean would take the pressure off. I've thought about all the things in my life that are causing me stress at the moment and come to the conclusion that this is the only thing that I can outsource iyswim.

Would I be ridiculously lazy, entitled etc. to consider this even though i'm at home two days a week? I do realise there are probably lots of people on here who have 3+ small children, work full time, cook everything from scratch and manage to keep a clean house without help so I am prepared to be told IABU and to just get on with it!

OP posts:
TwoOddSocks · 21/02/2015 18:15

If I could afford it I'd have a cleaner come everyday, even if I didn't work. I hate cleaning and I'm rubbish at it, as long as you pay the cleaner a fair salary where's the problem?

AnnieMorel · 21/02/2015 18:20

Get a cleaner, you're obviously house proud and it will make a huge difference to your stress levels.

My friend doesn't work at all and has a cleaner/ironer for 2 full days a week!

SpringTimeIsComing · 21/02/2015 18:20

I don't work, have no young children and I have a cleaner 3 times a week. Life's too short for cleaning!

Trills · 21/02/2015 18:24

It's not unreasonable to WANT a cleaner even if you don't work at all.

There is no moral value in doing your own cleaning rather than paying someone else to do it.

ChocolateCherry · 21/02/2015 18:26

I work pt, but even before when I was a sahm for years (and the dc were all in school) I've had a lady do our ironing. I wouldn't mind a cleaner too come to think of it. We have a gardener as well. If it works for you and your family do it.

I don't feel guilt one bit. I don't even get into discussions about it though either because there's no need to justify anything to anyone.

EternalBeauPlate · 21/02/2015 18:29

Don't think of the cost per hour you are paying the cleaner think of the value of having a few hours at the park at the weekends when your husband is home. It's totally worth it! DO IT!DO IT!

Blondiemama · 21/02/2015 18:29

YANBU. OP, I could have written this post myself!! I suspect that you and I work in a similar field and I am finding myself in a similar position to you but with a 9MO.

Go ahead and get your cleaner and enjoy your time with your DD. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 21/02/2015 19:10

I am a cleaner.

I want a cleaner.

I may take on extra clients to pay for one Grin

dixiechick1975 · 21/02/2015 19:14

I work 25 hours and have a cleaner 2 hours/£20 a week.

She does bathrooms/kitchen and hoovers.

Makes life easier. Go for it. Book them for your last working day eg thurs if you work TWT then you can enjoy the nice clean house whilst you are off.

Viviennemary · 21/02/2015 19:18

You are entitled to have a cleaner however few hours you work. Even if you don't work outside the home. Don't feel guilty. Why should you spend your two days off cleaning if you don't have to. In any case you're providing employment and extra money for someone so doing a good thing. IMHO.

bluelamp · 21/02/2015 19:19

Get a cleaner, it will make such a difference to your life. Although I now want a housekeeper because even with a cleaner I spend too much time cleaning and doing wifework.

LokiBear · 21/02/2015 19:26

Do it. If you can afford it, just go for it. I would if I could!

SoleSource · 21/02/2015 19:29

Just do it! Hmm

rollmeover · 21/02/2015 19:32

I'm a SAHM and I have a cleaner. I'd get rid of DH before I'd get rid of the cleaner........
I am a neat/clean freak and not being able to do it all totally was getting on top of me. I cannot explain the feeling of calm that I get when I walk in the house and its spotless, smells amazing and everything is tidy. (Lasts about five minutes!)

icklekid · 21/02/2015 19:32

I would also feel guilty but in similar situation with ds who can't entertain himself (7 months ) at present I clean when he naps but that's only if we are in. I would love a cleaner. ..

fluffymouse · 21/02/2015 19:33

As long as you can afford it then go for it.

I had a cleaner while on maternity leave, she was great!

GColdtimer · 21/02/2015 19:34

Fuddleduck why is this money spent on yourself? Surely a cleaner will benefit you and your partner and is therefore a household expense. Why is the cleaning your job?

Pico2 · 21/02/2015 19:44

I'm on maternity leave. I have no desire to live in squalor - therefore the cleaner stays.

As for your FB friend - has her toddler had as good a morning as yours?

FirstAidKitten · 21/02/2015 19:49

Op I struggle too.

I worked from home 4 days a week and had a cleaner. My DH does the dishwasher, the rubbish and we share the washing/folding/putting away and I still struggle.

Don't worry about it. If you think friends/family will judge you, don't tell them.

Do it and enjoy that weekly day when the house is spotless!

Ragwort · 21/02/2015 19:50

Just do it. The best present I was given when I had my first and only baby was two months of a cleaning lady service - it was so good I carried on paying her myself.

Why feel guilty, people spend money on whatever they like - I am shocked at some of the sums people spend on hair cuts but wouldn't think twice if someone said they spent money on a cleaner.

I no longer have a cleaner but I do have a gardener twice a year to do a thorough 'clear up' job and pay to have my oven cleaned - but would never pay for a hair cut or buy clothes apart from charity shop stuff. Grin.

samsam123 · 21/02/2015 21:20

you might all be able to afford cleaners and gardeners window cleaners but I think its just laziness to get someone else to do it

CoupdeFoudre · 21/02/2015 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MummyLuce · 21/02/2015 21:42

I have a cleaner and I'm a SAHM. I LITERALLY don't know anyone who doesn't have a cleaner!

AmateurSeamstress · 21/02/2015 21:45

MummyLuce that might just be you!

whodrankmycoffee · 21/02/2015 21:57

We got a cleaner years ago. Best thing we ever did. Cleaning is just a task like any other, do it yourself or pay some one else if you can afford it who cares.
Doing your own cleaning and being knackered doesn't make you a better person if you have a workable alternative. But I am lazy Wink and shamelessly messy...

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