to be utterly furious with the GP for putting my DSD on sedatives?

[goldenteapot]

She is 16 and finding her GCSEs very stressful - but she is fine the rest of the time, and happy with her hobbies etc.

She sees her mother every other weekend (with whom she has a difficult relationship) and her mother has taken her to the GP about the stress, to see if he could advise about taking exams in a separate room etc. or refer her to CBT.

He has put her on sedatives, twice a day (beta blockers) with no end in sight.

She now thinks she is 'mentally ill' and needs daily sedation. I just want to cry. I hate being a step mother and having no control over this sort of thing. She is so young and vulnerable and I feel that this could be the start of her unravelling. She is spaced out - with no offer of counselling.

AIBU to be furious? What can I do?

I do largely think she won't take it and we certainly won't nag her to do so

Would you feel the same if she were taking BB (as I have to) for a cardiac problem?

I don't want her to take her prescribed meds if she doesn't want to do so or feel that she needs them.

That doesn't make me a "fucking idiot". Unless anyone that agrees with the NHS Constitution is a "fucking idiot". We all have a right to take meds or not take them.

So?
That was your experience. Why are you layering that into her?
Medication helps a lot of people. Mindfulness helps. cBT helps.
Why don't you help her by supporting her trying the options made available to her rather than deciding in advance what she needs?

She doesn't have a cardiac problem. She doesn't want to enter an exam hall.

It's somewhat different.

It's still an illness.

Well that's where we disagree gobby. I don't think it's "an illness" that she hates exams. I don't think it's "an illness" that my own DD is terrified of lifts and has panic attacks in them. It's just LIFE.

I take lots of medication mainly for pain. It's the only way I can get through the day and get a few hours of broken sleep at night.

I don't understand why people have this weird attitude around medication for anxiety and mental health conditions. It's an illness in the same way that something physical is an illness and both need treating. You'd take a tablet if you had an infection or a pain, you'd have an operation if you needed it, so why not treat mental illness?

Panic attacks are not LIFE. You really have no clue, do you?

[sigh]

Honestly?
Whatever your intention, you are not neutral in this.
Your attitudes and options scream from every line you write and your disapproval for these mess cannot possibly be unknown to her.
Could you not, as you seem to love her, put your attitudes and prejudices to one side and just support her trying a medication which has been recommended by a Doctor.
It's fine that you want her to try CBT. Make arrangements for that,it will take time to arrange. But face it - you are making your negative attitude to a medication which many use to good effect a huge issue.

You should think about why you are placing your personal experiences and prejudices above her current peace of mind. Whatever your intent your current attitude is harming her right now.

Meds not mess. Although it is a mess tbh.

So you'd rather she got so stressed over the exams that she didn't do her best than take a non-addictive pill for 6 months?

You could potentially cause her to mess up her whole life wrt college choices, going to uni and job prospects just by digging your heels in over this. It's completely mad and irrational imo.

Well I have panic attacks about needles - they make me faint, anyway. I don't think that's an ILLNESS either.

We just have to be compassionate and accept that we all deal with things differently. I don't make my DD take lifts. I walk the stairs with her. My DH takes the children for anything involving needles. It's fine, isn't it?

Exams are one small part of her life. I'm not 'digging my heels in' - she can do what she likes and make her own decisions.

I'm not surprised she is distressed and anxious with all this crap going on around her, as well as having to cope with GCSEs. Who wouldn't be.

By the way, are you sure about that prescription? Twice a day for 6 months? to young person who is taking the medication for the first time?

If you are an involved service user/mhp with an interest in this area then you will know yourself that is not usual practice.

Panic attacks are 'just life'? Jesus :(

So do you essentially not believe in mental illness, then?

Fainting when you have blood drawn is not the same as a panic attack or anxiety disorder.

"Medication has MASSIVE side effects for some people and once you are on that treadmill it can escalate. That happens to lots of people."

I am seriously concerned about your views on medication given that you claim to professional experience. I sure hope you aren't a front line practitioner dealing with vulnerable people.

Yes I believe in mental illness - believe me, I've worked in the sector.

Sorry but anxiety about things that can be avoided/are very very temporary - is not, in my mind, 'Mental illness'.

Yes, it is 'just life' and we are all responsible for helping each other through those things. We are not 'ill' and needing of 'getting well'. We all have our own boundaries regarding what we can cope with. That doesn't make us all 'ill'.

I can actually see where you're coming from op. If that was her first appointment with a Dr about her anxiety, it does seem a bit odd to prescribe a drug which can have significant side effects as a first line treatment.
Did the Dr talk to her properly, preferably on her own, without her mother there to actually find out exactly what is making her anxious? Were any talking therapies discussed? Are there any mental health issues in her family?
The problem with diagnosing children/young people is that they're frequently misdiagnosed which can cause all kinds of problems further down the line, especially if the drugs prescribed are inappropriate.
There is definitely a place for drug therapies, but they should be used with great care especially in the young.

Feel free to message me if you think I'm wildly unprofessional or don't work in the area - I've spent 15 years in it.

Exams are not a small part of life, they have a huge bearing and influence over what you can do in the future. If she wants to do A levels she will need a certain number of Bs.

Good for you that you take your DD up the stairs instead of using the lift, your DSD can't decide to take a different route and not do the exams.

Honestly I despair, you don't get this at all. I feel so sorry for your DSD.

You sound extremely over the top.

Are you always this dramatic? Because between all this and what you have said about her mother exams are the least of this poor girls problems.

She CAN chose to do a different route - and take exams in a smaller room, for example, or do coursework. There are ALWAYS options.

" Mixtape Fri 20-Feb-15 21:42:24
Fainting when you have blood drawn is not the same as a panic attack or anxiety disorder."

Exactly

Come on op. In exactly what context do you write and place in the public domain your views upon these issues.
You have oh so coyly hinted about having views somewhat loftier than those of us who are mere hoi poloi. What is it then? Is it properly shameful? Is that why you won't say.

You have a lousy attitude towards mental health. You're miles away from current thinking. I have no idea what job you're doing but I am quite shocked at your views.

Yes there are, medication is one of them.

That is what she has chosen.