Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand how other people manage whilst renting?

248 replies

mrscostello000 · 20/02/2015 14:54

We have rented for years, never could save enough whilst renting for any form of deposit.
Have had to move 9 times in the 11 years of renting due to rent going up / landlord selling / re letting to friends and family which is hard enough but how do people afford this crazy private rent??
In Surrey where we are, we are paying £1150 for a 2 bedroomed house ( 2 children so share a room and will be for foreseeable future which is not ideal as 1 boy / 1 girl and eldest is approaching 5 )
My husband earns £2300 a month so too much to claim anything and I'm a stay at home parent caring for my baby and pre schooler. How do people do it when bills / food takes up a good £800 a month which leaves us about with £400 a month for everything including petrol for the pre school run 2 miles each way 5 times a week so a good £200 a month goes in the car to get us around and we are then left with hardly anything.
Is everyone in the same boat or am I missing something?

OP posts:
Feminine · 20/02/2015 15:55

Are you paying off previous debt?
Can you consolidate?
Your food bill us only 50 quid cheaper than ours, 2 adults 1 massive teen boy and two other children.
Admittedly there will be some here, who think l am over spending (400)but l bet you could get that down a bit.
Do you eat meat? :)

MaryWestmacott · 20/02/2015 15:56

If you do the bulk of the driving, can you take your DH off the insurance to lower if? For holidays etc you could add him for a few weeks (my brother added me to his insurance for a week we went away, he just called up the week before).

If you need to commute into London for your DHs work, Surrey isn't the cheapest, can you look at kent or essex, or if he can do North of London like Bedfordshire way? That's frighteningly cheap, but commute times can be hellish and you might have to sacrifice a lot of family time for a 3rd bedroom....

afreshstartplease · 20/02/2015 15:57

Your rent and food costs are both high

My rent is 600 for three bed two bath

Food I spend about 400 a month for me and three dc

SorchaN · 20/02/2015 15:59

I agree that the phones seem expensive; I pay about 35 a month for BT landline and internet (accessed by cheap second-hand laptop from Ebay), and my partner and I pay about 12 each on SIM-only contracts. So a bit cheaper than your situation and we get more for it.

Your car costs are enormous! I understand why the insurance is high after an accident, and that you want your husband to drive the car too... But you run a smaller car that costs less to insure, and less to run? Or drive your child to nursery and then walk him home? I used to walk my daughter home from nursery when she was 4, about a mile and a half, so not as far, but she could easily walk two miles at that age. When I was a kid we didn't have a car, and it was a two mile walk to nursery and school; my mother walked us there and back every day. Probably the biggest difference you could make is to give up the car, get the groceries delivered, and walk or use public transport.

Original poster
mrscostello000 · 20/02/2015 16:00

Ilovesooty
It was all a scam!! She pretended she was single, to get the council place.
Her prison officer husband moved into his mothers house for 3 months whilst she did the hostel and then got her 2 bedroomed council place 2 roads away from me and has now moved back in.
She was very proud of this fact and believe me did not seem upset at all by the hostel experience, just happy she had scammed the system and now they are paying well under half of the rent we are with a much higher income!
The costs of the car petrol is terrible it's a 1.4 deisal and as I said very old so nothing special but the school is not near the town either to do anything with my youngest ( 20 months ) swimming / soft play which again are so expensive!!!! So all adds up.
We see his family once a month, his parents are old and not in good health however mine come up once a week and get a cab from the station so doesn't cost me.
Will have to start seeing them once a month instead of twice I think and cutting down the contracts in December 100%.

OP posts:
MrMacadoo · 20/02/2015 16:02

£35 each on phones seems a lot to me, I pay £8 per month on virgin. I don't have a fancy phone but it's a smartphone and has internet. probably a stupid suggestion but do you and your DH both have to drive? we are a 1 car 1 driver family. It's a bit of a pain for me as the only driver though!

MrsKoala · 20/02/2015 16:04

How much is your dh's commute?

MrsTawdry · 20/02/2015 16:06

MrMacado I know...I pay a tenner with Tesco...smartphone here too. My neighbour pays almost 50 quid and can't afford sky!

googoodolly · 20/02/2015 16:06

Could you sell the car and buy something more economical? You'd save on insurance and petrol costs pretty quickly by the sounds of things.

Redheartsandflowers · 20/02/2015 16:07

I have nothing to offer but sympathy OP.

I saw an advert for a house on our street, very similar to ours. The rent is more then £300 higher then what we pay in mortgage repayments. It's a bad situation and should be challenged.

SoonToBeSix · 20/02/2015 16:11

You could cut £200 of your food bill, your dc are still young. Don't both with Tescos and have a couple of cheap meals a week eg jackets with beans and salad, something on toast, pasta with a basic tomato sauce.

Original poster
mrscostello000 · 20/02/2015 16:11

Hi again,
Just a few points in reply.
My husband is self employed so generally works 6 days a week every week, sometimes 7 hence the problem to do any kind of regular work so evenings are the only thing I can do at the moment which I can't find!
Can't live with family to save, his parents live in a retirement home and my parents in a 1 bedroom flat social housing.
It was south west London, Wimbledon and surrounding we were living in , not south east.
The car costs are that much to insure but it needs both of us on it as if my husband gets a job he can't get to by public transport that day he takes the car ( no problem as son isn't at school yet so generally we do something else when that happens instead of pre school )
The walk is exactly 2.3 miles with the cut through and took me 1 hour 10 mins pushing the pram on a trial run I did last year when we moved here and 3.1 miles the other way on the main road which was then nearly an hour 45 mins.
It's not just to the pre school as then it's another mile or 2 into the town for things to do with my daughter then back however I will look at parking the car closer to the school and walking into town now instead of driving, didn't think of that before actually.
Debts are £50 a month ( mine not his ) so I pay those as took a long time for them all to agree to £10 a month.
Our council tax is £145 a month.
We don't eat much meat, maybe twice a week an again frozen only.
We've been out for dinner three times in the last 4 years with the kids and believe me have nothing fancy in the house as it's not ours!!

OP posts:
MrsKoala · 20/02/2015 16:12

Redheart, i always find these threads weird as everywhere i have lived the rent is less than the mortgage would be. If we rented our house it would be £200 less a month than our mortgage and we've had to spend ££££ on roof/boiler/repairs etc in the last 6 months.

Where in London does your DH have to commute into op?

Feminine · 20/02/2015 16:13

So, no nearer schools?
Although l am sure you have considered that?
Also, (here) if you are a certain distance from the nearest school, the LA" has to provide transport.

Feminine · 20/02/2015 16:16

I can see your mess, it is hard.
For us, it was a case of rural living making things work. I can see why you have placed yourselves where you did... However, can you go further out?
It gets cheaper... As long as he can get in to London. Can he work in any other city?

Original poster
mrscostello000 · 20/02/2015 16:23

Scaffolder so wouldn't be guaranteed work anywhere other then central London. Even in Wimbledon the work ran out but he's had this contract for 5 years now and just renewed for another 5 however does have to take on any work that comes up hence the need to drive as has had a few jobs in very rural spots also.
This is nearest school and council provide transport if over 3.5 miles which is isn't!

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 20/02/2015 16:23

OK, but that rent has to cover the mortgage, buildings insurance, maybe contents insurance, legal insurance, gas safety checks, PACT testing, furnishings, servicing for the heating, repairs, cleaning b/w tennants, agents fees etc

There is some profit to be made in renting but it is not as great as people imagine (unless you are a shyster). Equally paying a mortgage is cheaper but then you also have to pay for a load of other stuff.

Original poster
mrscostello000 · 20/02/2015 16:25

I've just been looking through my bank statements the swimming lessons for older child soft plays cinema trips with the kids trains to other local places £8 here £12 there to try and save on petrol as parking it's clear to see the extra money.
I still think it's awful my husband eorks as hard as he does for the standard of living we can actually afford which is pretty shit if we can't even take the kids out somehere nice a few times a week!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 20/02/2015 16:27

It was a mistake to jack in your job, from the sound of it. Your rent is high, but it's an expensive place to live. I love how people all say, 'Can you move up North?' as if no one has a job they need to earn a living. The reason why a lot of places in other areas are cheaper is because employment and wages generally aren't as plentiful and high.

Your best bet is to find some work, OP.

MrsKoala · 20/02/2015 16:38

How much do/can your dh pay to commute? From Tonbridge i kent it's about £400 and the rent is about £900 for a 2/3 bed house. in New Bradwell (8 min walk from wolverton station - just outside MK) the commuting costs a little more but rents are less (about £750 for a 2 bed house).

SoonToBeSix · 20/02/2015 16:40

Your LEA is harsh mine is free transport over two miles primary three miles secondary.

SoonToBeSix · 20/02/2015 16:41

Actually are you sure the 3.5 miles isn't secondary and different for primary?

FireflySerenity · 20/02/2015 16:42

People do manage to rent and save a deposit, they just make different choices. It's easier to save for a deposit before having children.

You are spending on many luxuries, you chose to have one parent out of work, have two children, spend a lot on food, expensive phone contracts and am sure there are schools a lot closer otherwose transport would be funded. Pre school is not compulsory either. Others may chose to do without all those things to gain their footing on the property ladder.

babygiraffe86 · 20/02/2015 16:43

Self employed scaffolders or runs a scaffolding company? I only ask as agency work for scaffolders is well paid, or even offshore opportunities may help save on commuting costs - and will increase his income :-)

Sazzle41 · 20/02/2015 16:43

You phones seem expensive, i've just got Tesco mobile, brand new phone for 10 quid
a month with internet and all the toys etc. Could you put the car insurance in your name? Does anyone at nursery live near you and be into a car share? Food shop online is prob cheaper than petrol too. I'd probably look at long term getting rid of the car and moving nearer schools. What you save in petrol and car maintenance will pay more rent.