To not understand how other people manage whilst renting?

[mrscostello000]

We have rented for years, never could save enough whilst renting for any form of deposit.
Have had to move 9 times in the 11 years of renting due to rent going up / landlord selling / re letting to friends and family which is hard enough but how do people afford this crazy private rent??
In Surrey where we are, we are paying £1150 for a 2 bedroomed house ( 2 children so share a room and will be for foreseeable future which is not ideal as 1 boy / 1 girl and eldest is approaching 5 )
My husband earns £2300 a month so too much to claim anything and I'm a stay at home parent caring for my baby and pre schooler. How do people do it when bills / food takes up a good £800 a month which leaves us about with £400 a month for everything including petrol for the pre school run 2 miles each way 5 times a week so a good £200 a month goes in the car to get us around and we are then left with hardly anything.
Is everyone in the same boat or am I missing something?

Haven't read the whole thread but we are in a similar position (but we both work full-time - most of my salary goes on childcare and trains).

Has anyone suggested cycling the two kids? Brilliant way to get exercise too.

We rent in central London. 1 bed flat = £1750 a month. We are saving for deposit.

But we both work. Really in your situation you would be better off working full time also. Your eldest gets 15hrs free, so full time nursery for both still less than full time wage matching your dhs.

£2300 x2 = £4600 monthly. 1200 rent plus 2000 childcare would leave you £1400 a month which is more than now. The £2000 childcare is guess so could be less, and will be far less in September once eldest only needs morning and afternoon care.

Perhaps op can't realistically bring in £2300 though? I work full time in a professional career and still could only bring in a max of about £1800 a month.

Could you do childminding? Realise that 3 children would be hard work but....if you are a SAHM at least it would fit in with your current situation/hours.
Obviously you'd need to check out the situation re getting enough car seats in your car, amongst others.

You don't know that some random woman in the park was actually telling the truth. Instead of focussing on what others have, try taking a step back and value what you have; which is an awful lot. There are families up and down the country who don't have te luxury of a car, and a swimming lesson ona weekly basis is something they could only dream of, money is that short. My mum used to walk 2 miles drop us at school, then walk with the big (coach built) pram 3 miles to the nearest town to do the weekly shop, and be back to collect te youngest at 12.30, go home, then walk back to pick us up at 3.40.
She knew when she had kids that for the first few years they would have no money, and she would have to be running around all day. We didn't have swimming lessons or soft play. Being a SAHM, she used her time to save money by cooking meals, pies, cakes and biscuits instead of buying them.

It wouldn't be 200 pcm though, it would have been a bit higher (the gain if you worked) because you have counted in that your commute, if you drop the dcs on your way then you save whatever you spend now to commute to preschool?
You would also saved the softplay money. Lunches for dcs.
And heating ad you will all be out of the house all day.

In the end of the day all the suggestions are harsh but unfortunetely for those of us whp don't earn high we have to make harsh decisions.

something like a second hand Christania bike for the kids to get to nursery/town - get a cover,keep them dry and warm, wrap yourself up well
needs no insurance, cuts your petrol and parking fees and you can put your shopping in it too, much better than a pram
older kid can graduate to their own bike when big enough & weather good

I'm sorry OP you are getting a hard time but you asked for opinions. I think you need to stop with the soft play and swimming lessons for a start. What about if you walked twice a week and drove the other 3?

The phones sound ridiculous. Where in your budget did you think £70 would come from?

i think you can make changes and make some savings but you don't want to.

Moving 9 times in 11 years is a lot.
Totally understand the OP's frustration. She is in a precarious housing situation, when home should be a place of refuge, somewhere you feel safe. It's trying to keep your head above water, never knowing if you're going to make it. I really empathise.
Not the same thing but reminds me of this article
www.huffingtonpost.com/linda-tirado/why-poor-peoples-bad-decisions-make-perfect-sense_b_4326233.html

Was about to say the same chaya-why not cycle? You can pick up a bike plus child seat+/- tag along second hand for less than your monthly fuel bills. The huge expense that can be reduced is your car/fuel bills. I drive a gas guzzling 15 yr old 4x4 and do a 6 mile school run at least once a day and put far less fuel in than you do! My insurance is less than £200 a year with my husband as a named driver with penalty points (but admittedly not an accident). I really think you need to look into reducing these costs if you can't alter anything else-as people have suggested already-have you tried insuring the car with you as the policy holder and DH as named driver?

Possumpoo
I actually worked for the phone network we are with so they were both free up until I left the company and then it was an option of keeping the phones and signing up for a 4 year contract on both ( finishes December ) or giving them back so we opted for that. Realistically should have given them back but didn't have the outlay to buy 2 new ones and probably wouldn't get them on credit as I have debts although this was our mistake I admit.
The bike I also thought about but my husband keeps telling me how dangerous they are and it only takes one careless driver to go into the carriage where the kids are.
I wonder if he would miss much leaving pre school now although this will start again by September although a big pram isn't going to work for longer than reception year if I can find a cheap one is it. Although could then probably trust him to cycle there maybe with me pushing the pram beside him

I already am the driver and he is the named as that did reduce it a little.
Maybe it's the fact it's a bigger litre but we don't have money to buy another and this wouldn't be worth anymore than a few hundred quid so that's not going to work anyway
I think not driving to pre school and school come September is the thing i can work on, the scooter atatchment thing we tried was horrendous it made him lean towards me the whole time and he kept getting off so the pram / bike may be the best bet

You pay 35 quid a month on a 4 year contract? And chose to do that because you couldn't afford to buy a phone at the time? despite the fact 4 years ago there were plenty of 35 quid iPhone 18 months contracts available, or you could've just bought a cheap smart phone for less than a months petrol.

I think the real answer is people manage because they are simply better with money than you, your financial decisions are not good ones. And I think the real answer is finding some way to get more financial education, and simply make better decisions.

Have you looked into buying a new car, I bought a new car on finance. My outgoings including finance are about £150 per month with a minimal part ex. My petrol costs are minimal and my insurance is £200 per year despite a bad time 3 years ago when I made 3 claims(2 non fault) in 12 months.

I bought a corsa and with the changes in model you may pick up a bargain.

I'm in the same boat. Rent tiny two bed flat for £1200 per month. Nothing left over at end of month. No nights out (one in four years!!), no fast food (well, I don't want it anyway..), no sky etc etc. Kids share the smallest room ever - my son is too big for a toddler bed but single bed won't fit. Just finished looking at an advert for a local 2 bed flat at £1500 nearby. I would LOVE to rent a house. I'm zone 5 London BTW. Obviously. The rents here seem to increase literally by the day...one way to save a bit - we have two giffgaff sims and cheap smart phones, pay £12 a month each with unlimited data, large cap on calls and texts.

Really interesting thread. The thing that strikes me most is the odd decisions that the OP has made. Choosing to give up work was probably the worst. What did you expect to have happen. The ?E is expensive to live in, the mobile contracts are complete nonsense. The car insurance you are paying is what I have just been quoted for my 17 year old DS who had just passed his test. He will be using my car though. I just don't understand why the costs are SO high....

I fear that the insurance costs might be so high due a serious traffic violation. I cannot think of any other reason.

I think if you're a Londoner, there's a certain zone around London that lulls you into thinking that life will be cheaper, but actually it's not. It might be worth considering taking a deep breath and going a bit further.
A 2 bedroomed house in Ashford (Kent) will cost you something like £700 a month. The fast train to London for your family visits will be £36.50 (off peak) and takes 37 mins. Of course your Dh's travel costs will go up, but if he's self employed or runs the company then he has flexibility. (My own DH moved his business and instantly saved £14,000 a year in rent and an astonishing £500 a month in rates). That might be something to consider in the longer term.
If family don't often come out to see you, then something like this is a viable option.

He's a scaffolder?!?
Come down here, they've just granted permission for yet another 10,000 homes to be built a few miles away...and more to follow!

Four year mobile phone contracts? They must be jolly good smartphones if they have lasted you four years...which make/ model are they? I'll get one if it will last that long.

Working for 'only' £200 PCM for the short period of time until they get the free hours/go to school is fine!

Loads of women work for zero extra during those couple of years. I once worked out I was £3pcm better off than on benefits for working ft, putting DC into nursery 8-6 but I still did it as any woman with good long term financial sense will do.

You could have kept working but wanted the lifestyle of a sahm in the most expensive area of the UK with a DP who doesn't earn a very high salary for the hours he works.

You can't have it all (neither can your DP whom I'm not absolving of blame here).

We are in the same boat OP, we just manage and keep going. The cost of living is out of control for even decent earners. IMO it is storing up a huge time bomb in the economy.

I don't get why the OP is getting a hard time here. It's rent and sky-high living costs that are the problem, not the phone contracts. Mine is also about 35 a month, I use it constantly and need it for email for work, all sorts of things. I need to use so much data as part of my working life that the only practical option was an unlimited data contract. For what I do with it it's bloody cheap!

What isn't cheap is the huge rent we pay - easily 50 percent household income. I just do not get the mentality of castigating the OP for a phone contract when it's clear that the costs of housing, food and bills are the problem here, and not incidentals. It's just like when you get people saying you could afford a (massive) deposit on a house if you just stopped frittering money away on cappuccinos. They're not the problem!!!
As for giving up work - childcare us so expensive in the SE you wouldn't even be breaking even a lot of the time.

Also lots of the 'advice' here is totally impractical - even second hand Christiania bikes are nearly 2k so if you don't have the odd couple of thousand hanging about in an account somewhere it's no use! And not everyone can or wants to rude a bike - I am not a confident cyclist and would not take my DC on a bike seat to nursery because it would be too dangerous. Even a decent bike and helmets for everyone would set you backs several hundred pounds - and the OP's whole point is that she doesn't have extra chunks of cash to spare!

Christiana bike probably is an impractical suggestion in the UK , ours was cheap second hand in DK, and the cycling network was much better and safer, even for someone lacking in cycling confidence like me

but the idea still stands - sometimes you have to spend more up front to save longterm (eg invest in a tool that recoups its outlay, take a slightly more expensive flat that saves on travel costs)