To not understand how other people manage whilst renting?

[mrscostello000]

We have rented for years, never could save enough whilst renting for any form of deposit.
Have had to move 9 times in the 11 years of renting due to rent going up / landlord selling / re letting to friends and family which is hard enough but how do people afford this crazy private rent??
In Surrey where we are, we are paying £1150 for a 2 bedroomed house ( 2 children so share a room and will be for foreseeable future which is not ideal as 1 boy / 1 girl and eldest is approaching 5 )
My husband earns £2300 a month so too much to claim anything and I'm a stay at home parent caring for my baby and pre schooler. How do people do it when bills / food takes up a good £800 a month which leaves us about with £400 a month for everything including petrol for the pre school run 2 miles each way 5 times a week so a good £200 a month goes in the car to get us around and we are then left with hardly anything.
Is everyone in the same boat or am I missing something?

Op what about cycling to nursery? That is an awful lot to maintain a car. Or maybe get a car which is cheaper to insure?

We pay less insurance as new drivers in a rough part of central London.

I'm not sure I would be comfortable cycling, they are very fast roads and I would worry a lot about an accident happening

Cycling is really not an option in a lot of places. We live in a place with 60 mph, windy roads with a lot of lorry traffic. Cycling with two young children is downright dangerous. I'd go without meals rather than cycle on these roads.

Yes they are 50 mph roads on the main road i would have to cycle down for the first mile and then 40mph until the cul de sac where the school is :-(

I do sympathise, it's very hard. But unfortunately, as others have said, your one huge and unsustainable luxury is not working.

You decided to be a SAHM - that's great and a legitimate choice of course. But it means you don't have enough money to live in the area(s) you want to live in and do the things you want to do.

It was short sighted to give your job up - so they didn't let you have flexible hours. Ok you go back on 5 days, you look around for another job that will give you PT hours and you move jobs.

It might have seemed awful to put them into nursery FT for a while - but it wouldn't have had to be forever, just a phase with a longer term plan in mind. You did and do have options.

Also, kids grow up in the blink of an eye believe me. Just read the many, many threads on here by women who gave up work and cannot get back in after years off. That's fine if you're happy with not working and you live comfortably, it's not fine if you are unfulfilled and still watching the pennies years down the line.

I genuinely see no reason why a four and a half year old cannot walk two miles to school. You could be saving, with your provided costs of insurance and fuel (£87.50) plus small amount for tax, mot, service and repairs etc (say, if it's old maybe maybe £20 odd) etc, £100 a week.

£100 a week! My DC did 2.3 miles to school and I either carried on another mile to work or went home, came back to school for nursery and then returned for the pick up, so it is eminently do-able if there are no health issues. £400 a month would even pay for the odd taxi on days you didn't want to do it. I don't want to sound all four Yorkshire men and I know having a car makes life easier, but wouldn't having an extra £100 a week make life easier?

I sympathise with you op. We live in the south east and rent takes 2 thirds of our income every month. The UK has a housing crisis and the politicians don't care.
I don't buy clothes for myself and we sublet a bedroom.
I'm a new driver and got insurance for 79 a month with a black box .. Would this be an option?

But the car can't be got rid of completely anyway as we need it for my husband on days he can't get to work destinations via public transport and to visit his parents etc so whilst it would save the petrol it wouldn't save £400 a month it would save £100 a month at most.
However £100 is still a lot of money so we will walk there later today and see how long it takes and how do able it seems will start doing that now it's not bitterly cold.
Of course I could have returned to work, but the regret of watching money is far less than the regret I would have felt spending no time with my children. That's just me, not saying everyone would feel like that but I know I would. It wasn't like I was in a job earning so much money that it would be the difference between owning our house and not, combining nursery fees etc it would have been the difference between a few days out a month compared to seeing my children all day every day.

The car seems to be costing an awful lot. I agree with a previous poster that you should look into changing it. I have a brand new car it is costs me £350 a month for the repayments, petrol, and insurance; and that is complete repayment not one of these ones where you end up owing money.
Now I'm not suggesting you go and buy a new car but a second hand one might be worth a look. Such an old car isn't going to be fuel efficient.

People save up before kids or get given money
people only have one child or have larger age gaps so that they can afford childcare
Childcare is provided by parents
Salaries are bigger
Live in cheaper areas of the country

We lived with my Pil for a year to save up.

Well we both lived on our own from the age of 18 as our parents downsized to afford their living costs so no hope of staying with either set, no money to give other than a grandparent on my husbands side when she passes providing his parents pass it on and don't spend it all so who knows!
Having a bigger gap doesn't mean more money as in 2 years time both mine will be at school so the chance of finding a job is a lot higher and childcare is a lot lower as our age gap was small.

Is the insurance so high due to a drink drive incident? I just can't see any other reason. You are spending a fortune on this. Wouldn't it be cheaper to get taxis on the occasions where this is no public transport?

mrscostello you're right, everyone feels differently about working or SAHM-ing but please don't say 'I'd never have seen my kids'.

I work FT and see loads of my kids! Night feeds and waking, 2/3 hours in the morning, 2/3 hours in the evening, weekends and annual leave, I have been to all school assemblies and plays (I know not everyone can achieve that). I don't feel any less bonded with my dcs. And we have no money worries.

I said it would have been a temporary situation working FT as I appreciate it wasn't what you wanted long term - you could have gone back but looked for a job with flexible hours. You still can.

You don't want to work though - ok, fine, but you can't have it all ways unfortunately. Hope the walking thing works out for you, good luck with it all. It's tough.

How far out of London are you OP?

IMO (and based on my working out average rents, commute times and monthly rail card fees) you need to move far enough away from London to make the move worth it. The monthly rail fees are more but the rents are often reduced enough to make it work financially.

I looked on the National Rail website and listed monthly rail fares and journey times...next Right move and listed the average price for a 2 bed house. A pattern definitely emerges and you start to see where you can best afford to live.

You also get pockets of less desirable places to live, they are actually quite nice places but the rents are cheaper. Funnily enough one village on my list (South east) has a supermarket, good schools and cheap rents...the commute is a bit longer but the cost is not so high that it makes it unworkable.

After you have done that you need to look out for a long let, 'nice' properties are often peoples homes and the property is being let for one or 2 years while the family are relocated for a while. Look out for magnolia walls, dull brown carpets and basic fittings, these are often professional long let landlords. The houses are basic but you can put in enough of your own removable stuff to make it look nice and homely. I always ask about the LL.

Pm'd you op.

The obvious answer is you don't earn enough to live in such an expensive rental and spend so much on food and bills.

There's not really a simply fix...

Also I drive 40 miles a day for work and only put £120 a month in the car.

My guess is drink-drive incident, too. That's honestly the only time I have heard of insurance being that high excepting under 25 males.

Oh my word it was not a drink drive incident!
He but a cyclist coming around a short bend, he wasn't driving too fast, he insists he mirror checked so whether he did or didn't doesn't matter as he was liable.
He was late 20s when he first got insurance, zero no claims and car is 1.6 litre ( hand me down from his father )
That was £90 a month and then to add me bumped it up.
What people are missing I feel is that every move costs us at least £500 in referencing fees and a van and that's before anything else the new house might need such as insurance ( this one had to have that and that's another £11 a month ) and it's all well and good moving closer to the school to save those costs and taking me off the insurance, paying a higher rent to save on the car costs and then come a years time we are forced to move again, which could be an even longer commute from the school
Before this place the maximum let we had ever had in our 10 years of renting was 2, we will have been here 5 come July and even though the rent has gone up per year ( £15-£20 a year ) it's pretty stable.
We were planning to move when it comes to secondary age closer to that school but with our daughter only 2 1/2 that's a long way off!

House needs insurance? Are you paying for buildings or contents insurance? As a tenant buildings insurance is not your responsibility.

Car insurance will he that high if neither of you have much experience and them adding a claim in too.

Have you checked though comparison sites etc to make sure you are paying the least possible? Not only for insurances but also for utilities?

Hi, no not buildings insurance, for some reason we had to get contents insurance and provide them with the reference number when we signed up to this house. Although i did wonder what would actually happen / how would they know if I cancelled this.
Yes have done that with utilities, thanks :)

When we lived in Surrey we needed 2 incomes - it seemed impossible otherwise. I became a child minder after DC 1 was born which allowed us to pasythe bills as well as giving my pfb built in playmates and motivating me to do lots every day. Worked well and I enjoyed it apart from the extra cleaning... You don't need a big house.

Then when DC2 was on the way we moved abroad

I wasn't being rude when I said about not seeing the kids but I literally wouldn't, I would have been dropping them off at 7.30am and collecting them at 6.30pm so I would have approximately 2 1/2 hours a day of them awake, most of that getting the ready to leave / for bed.
I had a pretty middle class upbringing, we saw our mum on the weekends and our dad even less.
We had everything, my mum owned her home in Wimbledon ( until my dad left her and she didn't fight for anything hence the 1 bed council flat ) we went on expensive holidays she tried her best but the connection to me and my brother at least was lacking, so no, the £250 I would have earnt or even £2000 wouldn't have made me take that option.
So you're right, this was my choice and I'll live with that.
I just still think the private rents are extortionate and worse, unstable.

I think you have been really honest about your financial situation.
I am sure most of us have 'things' on our statements that shouldn't be there.
Even us broke ones...
I agree you'd never see your children. I guess that is the trade off you made.
I left a very lucrative career, l wanted to get with my children. I didn't want the stress of international travel. So l quit.
Many people will think that was stupid, maybe? But l know l did what made me happy when my little ones were very small.
Our eldest is 16 now. The years wizz by.
I doubt, you will ever be upset by the fact you made your bed the way you have.
Good luck for the future. :)