Another wedding one!

[Lolipoplady]

Am I being unreasonable to feel and at a wedding that consists of the following (groom is old uni friend of DP):

-Location is a popular far-east holiday destination, in a year's time
-Will require two flights to get there
-Guests are expected to pay for 5 nights accommodation in multi-bedroomed villas which totals £350 pp B&B (so £700 for me and DP)
-We have to pay a deposit NOW as the venue is apparently asking for half the cost upfront
-It has been made clear that the wedding is going to cost £13,000 but in actual fact the intention is that this will be covered by guests
-We have to pay £32.50 pp to cover the cost of the reception, and this doesn't include drinks

I am also peed off that DP has told his friend that he will go but doesn't know yet whether I will be going too (although DP hasn't paid the deposit yet - not sure if he will actually go now we are getting more information about what it is going to actually cost!!)... but that is a different story.

Don't go. In fact everyone who receives a bonkers invite costing you hundreds/thousands/making you take a week off work etc.. just say not going.

And maybe then we can get back to weddings that are lovely but not costing everyone a stupid amount and begrudging it before they arrive to celebrate 1 day

And then we will conquer the bonkers hen parties that take a year to organise, involve expensive pressies for the bride to be, last longer than a weekend and always involve expensive accommodation.

Oh yes, there was a fab wedding thread here a while ago that had a link to a wedding forum. The bride on that thread didn't want children at her wedding because she didn't want 'cute kids taking the attention off me' , it was epic!

It's simple, either go or don't go. (sorry that sounds sarky - it not meant to) Your DH said he would go but that was before he found out the costs so there is no problem if you now decide not to go.

I don't think what the B&G are doing is that bad in that they are telling people what the score is beforehand. It's honest and upfront and much better than some couples who suprise their guests with added costs. Iyswim

I wouldn't have a problem with it-just thank them for the invitation but decline-simple!

Could be worse OP. You could be not invited to the charade like me :o (I have an active AIBU wedding thread at the mo).

What is it with these people?!

Am I the only person that thinks a five day holiday in a Far East location for £700 for two people is dirt cheap and I would bite their hand off!!! They must be subsidising the holiday cost for guests, surely!

"We have to pay £32.50 pp to cover the cost of the reception, and this doesn't include drinks"
That is a new low in B&G grabbiness.

I think that's just accommodation, flights are extra as are meals,
I wouldn't be going

It still completely baffles me as to how people think it's okay to charge people to attend their wedding!!

Hell to the no.
Fuck that shit.

www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/bulk-buy-flips-flops-for-reception/409899.html

Someone please explain this to me?!

Why do they need flip flops?!

I definitely wouldn't go and I'd be quite narked if my Dh decided he was going on their terms.
Have a nice drink withy them, when ifthey get back.

Flip flop are for the poor ladies with sore feet in the evening from sky scraper heels. I also saw pashminas for chilly guests too!

Phew well I'm glad that I'm not the only one who feels it's outrageous! DP didn't seem to think it was that bad so I wondered if it was just me, but clearly not

It just seems to have go worse and worse - first of all we were told that they were getting married in the far east (yep, Thailand), then there was the whole sharing villas thing, then we were told that we needed to pay a deposit NOW as the wedding is oh-so-expensive and has to be booked in advance, then the icing on the (wedding) cake was an itinerary and breakdown of costs - which is how I know that they are expecting us to pay for reception as well as everything else. I think we are also expected to travel out on the same flights because the itinerary listed a date for the flight.

It'll cost around £4000 I reckon, for the two of us. We don't have that money to throw around - nowhere near. We have been together 2 1/2 years and have lived apart up until now (which has worked well for us) but we are looking to start a family soon, and my work contract is up at the end of the month, so the plan is that I will relocate as soon as I find work and we will move in together. Who KNOWS what our situation will be next February. I might even be pregnant by then. Have also noted what a couple of posters have said about the costs potentially going up as people drop out, or the possibility of the wedding being cancelled altogether. I feel we'd be daft to commit to this now.

I wouldn't mind if we could choose where we stayed, how long we were there for (and weren't bullied into paying for the reception!!) - I would probably be quite up for it then as it could be our holiday. We certainly wouldn't book it now though, we'd wait to see what the situation is a few months down the line. As it is I feel bullied, and just generally peed off. If DP does actually decide to go I will be really upset, actually.

Getting addicted to the wedding site!

One woman is having a piper leading their wedding procession on foot from the church to the reception and is wondering if it might look a bit ostentatious!

£4,000 , fucking hell and your dp is happy to spend daft money on someone else's wedding.

Madness, I tell you.

Ask your DP how he would feel spending a week in Thailand on his own because they cancelled the wedding when most people declined the invite. That might make him think!

Bogey there's someone on there wanting help for her hens 'nicknames' for her hen do.

What's that all about then?

Probably to put on the t-shirts that she is having specially printed

Oh bless them. My sister was just like this, she was a complete nightmare, not helped by the the fact that BIL was too. She has the good grace to be embarrassed by it now, but it was a very trying time!

Also I understand those of you who are saying that at least they're being upfront about the cost - that is true, and it is better than unexpected charges later on - but the cynical part of me can't help but think that it's only because they need us to pay upfront!

Am wondering if it would be possible to go to the wedding, but stay somewhere else. But that still leaves us with having to pay for the reception.

Patience I saw your thread, I'm glad to know I'm not alone

Don't go!!!!!

Weddings are getting so exteavagsnt and out of hand these days.

Ha ha Bogey!
I'm imagining the Pied Piper skipping along at a too quick for comfort pace with loads of rats and bedraggled guests trying to keep up

They can ask all they want but I wouldn't go. It's too expensive. Also, what happens to deposits, etc. if it gets called off for any reason? It does happen.

I would be really mean and tell them that they could chose, either we come as guests but they won't get a present or we won't come and they can have £2,000 as a wedding gift and see which one they choose. If they chose the money, I would say, nah, that was just a test to see if you really wanted us there and you failed

I would send them £50 in a wedding card and wish them a lovely day and a lifetime of happiness together. Then book a holiday with my dh to somewhere warm but reasonably priced and longer than 5 days.

I actually would have left my dh (then dp) if he had thought it was ok for him to do that, spend all that money on someone else's wedding and me stay at home.