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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to move 'up north'?

454 replies

onemiddlefinger · 19/02/2015 14:38

That is if South Yorkshire is actually considered 'up north'?
We have always lived in London and now DH might have a job offer near Sheffield and i'm actually surprised that really want to move.
If someone told me 3 years ago that we might be moving nearly 3h away from London i would have been laughing, but now it might be a reality and i'm really hoping it works out.

We would have less money each month, but i would be able to stay home with DC for a few years and we would have much more space, a lovely house, a garden and DH would have more free time to spend with us.
I'm just so sick and tired of squeezing into our tiny flat and worrying about the downstairs neighbours coming to complain again about the noise and the commute on packed tube trains and just generally people everywhere.

AIBU?
Maybe it's just a phase of being fed up and once we actually move i'll be missing London? This is really all i can think about the last few days and in my head i'm already decorating the house and imagining us there - kids happy playing, our family able to come and visit (they live in another country) and actually be able to stay with us comfortably.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 20/02/2015 22:49

The reason bloody museums are top of the list is because they're free - which is just so amazing.

The national trust house near me is 23 quid to visit. The museum nearest me is £5.95.

And yet I can drive to somewhere in North London and go in a dozen places for free.

RandomNPC · 20/02/2015 22:50

I've been to the Yorkshire Sculpture Park too. Lots of sculptures in different fields. What a great day out that wasn't.

LaurieFairyCake · 20/02/2015 22:51

But they're not the bottom of the list if you have Young children - they do tons of activities for them for free.

They were making paper dinosaurs a couple of weeks ago and the kids doing it looked like they were having a great time.

notgivingafuck · 20/02/2015 22:54

Well. I was born and raised in the NW. Nearly 20 years to be exact. I have never found a greater bunch of culturally illiterate gobshites in all my days. The quickness in which they want to 'pull you back into' the sad existence they call their lives is indeed legendary.

Stay in the SE and visit the North on yer hols. Trust me. You'll thank me.

RandomNPC · 20/02/2015 22:59

Let's take Millenium Point in Birmingham for example. They moved all the stuff from the old Science Museum (which was free), put it in a cavernous building, and charge through the nose for it. It has all this push button, interactive stuff that is broken half the time. My kids went there once, and never saw the need to go back there again.

BarbarianMum · 20/02/2015 23:04

Um, what were you expecting? The clue's in the name, you know. We love the Yorkshire Sculpture Park but if you don't enjoy a) sculpture b)woods and parkland then yes, I guess it would be a bit of a let down Hmm

Chilliplantbox · 20/02/2015 23:09

I think the point is that there is more to life, even more to culture, than London's free museums. It's a good feature, but not sure why it's so high up the debate lists.

runlikeagirl · 20/02/2015 23:17

I shouldn't have read this. We are soon to be relocating from Leeds to Cambridge. I'm going to miss Yorkshire. After ten years it really was home and I thought I'd never leave.

BarbarianMum · 20/02/2015 23:34

Cambridge is great. It's just the countryside around it which is a bit - flat.

TheCatAteMyTaxReturn · 21/02/2015 01:37

We are soon to be relocating from Leeds to Cambridge

two thumbs up for Cambridge, here - haven't lived near there for ages but it still feels like home

if you've got to go back down south, I wouldn't go much further than that, unless you are turning west.

Momagain1 · 21/02/2015 02:57

That's the thing. If you live in a scrinchy flat in the city, free things to do with thr kids that are out of the house and prevent creating more gluey mess for you to clean up are crucial. So free museums with childrens activities rate high.

But when you live where you can afford a house, with a garden, and enough room in the kitchen-dining-lounge and bedroom areas for everyone to do their thing with out encroaching on each other, and maybe a garage or conservatory where messier projects can happen, then the need to get out of the flat to do something isnt so dire. Ditto for parks. Sure, you still go to these things, but ot's different.

Momagain1 · 21/02/2015 03:07

I know there are other plenty of other airports but if you live in the South East you have two major hubs, several local ones (smaller and less crowded )

You know. And yet, you still don't see that it negates your argument. As Tartina said, unless you are fairly central in London, it's academic. If you live toward the south and west of the city, or points beyond and need to Gatwick or points north, London's in the way. If you live north and west of London, or beyond , and need Heathrow, London's in the way. The convenience of being IN London dissipates well before you are out of London.

And never fear, vouchers to Paris exist here as well, though the flights will be earlier and later. And some people like day trips to Scandanavia better anyway.

TheWordFactory · 21/02/2015 08:19

I don't agree mom

My DC have a 6 bedroom house with a swimming pool and acres of orchards and we have always make great use if the museums/ exhibitions in London.

The great thing is that there is a rolling program so always something new to access.

They're not only used by those in 'scrinchy' flats Wink.

RedToothBrush · 21/02/2015 08:34

Free things to do with kids?

As a child I did things like make rope swings and bridges over ditches.

I could not do this in London. Walking in the countryside is free.

Why is it about gluey things and museums? DH can't stand them anyway either. (I love though) The Maritime Museum, MOSI, Imperial War Museum North, Royal Armouries amongst others are in the North and are free.

No there aren't the same number of museums and art galleries. Some of them are not the same standard. But they DO exist in the North and some ARE world class.

I am baffled by the idea that there is nothing free to do in the North. It shows either a lack of imagination or a total ignorance.

That said I was stunned by a friend who was in their mid twenties and said he had never seen a cow up close. We took him to a childrens' farm and he LOVED it. Even being licked by a cow.

I think the thing I love most about where I live, is the fact that its semi-rural and because of its location we've tended to get the best of both worlds as the city was so close and easy to get to without being a major expedition. And London is on a direct route by train. It did make me appreciate days out in London a lot more too I think. It wasn't something I took for granted and if I did go to London, I really made the most of it, in a way that locals potentially might not do.

And the Tower of London is a right bloody rip off!

Southeastdweller · 21/02/2015 09:09

I think that unless you can live fairly centrally in London, it's a bit academic that there are museums and theatres in the centre

Tartina I think that depends on how far you're out and whether you can afford to get by on trains. I used to live in zone four in south east and I was only 13 minutes from London Bridge on the train and 28 minutes from Victoria and Shoreditch. When the trains were running OK I had no problems getting around town.

Eliza22 · 21/02/2015 09:17

I'm in Cheshire. I lived in London, years ago and nothing....NOT ONE THING would make me want to return beyond the occasional visit.

Good luck with the move.

TheWordFactory · 21/02/2015 09:27

Getting into London from
The HCs is very easy ( a lot of folk do it daily if course).

It's very cheap for DC but pricey for adults.

AuntieDee · 21/02/2015 09:34

When people say that children will have incomparable advantages living in London - can they please clarify this? I can only see disadvantages personally. And have the people claiming this ever lived anywhere else? I cannot believe how insular people can be...

Celticlass2 · 21/02/2015 09:37

I would never voluntarily move from London to anywhere up north ( apart from Edinburgh and glasgow)
I hated living in Yorkshire,- found it really insular, and lots of the people I worked with had never lived anywhere else! It was a real eye opener.London is unique. There is absoloutely no way you can compare say Leeds or Sheffield to it!

TheWordFactory · 21/02/2015 09:45

auntie I grew up in the North and visit very regularly ( my family still all live up there ).

I've also lived in other UK cities and in France and the US.

I brought my DC up in the Home Counties with access to London as I felt it was important for them to access to a semi rural life and access to the capital.

Now they're teens we split our time between Central London and HC.

I do think that London provides my ( now teenaged) DC with things they couldn't access elsewhere. And I'm so glad I can give them this advantage ( though it would hardly be a tragedy if I couldn't Grin).

AuntieDee · 21/02/2015 10:00

TheWordFactory - you talk of access to 'things' not available - but what things? This is what I don't understand - people living in London think that they have 'things' and 'advantages' not available elsewhere, but rarely clarify what they are.

The only things I have found that London has, that is less so elsewhere is a lack of manners and a lack of friendly people.

MrsCaptainReynolds · 21/02/2015 10:09

As a Scot who has lived in Shetland (as far north as the UK gets) and currently based in the Highlands, I don't really get the idea that
Yorkshire represents the north. Doesn't really seem that far from London to me. In fact I see that you can get a direct train from Doncaster to London KingsX in under 2 hours. That's less than the time it would take for me to get from Inverness to Glasgow or Edinburgh. Geographically you are practically next door neighbours on these tiny isles. Indeed even if I wanted to take a trip to London to soak up its version of culture, it would be a short cheap direct return flight from my friendly local airport.

I do get that economically and culturally London is pretty far removed from the rest of the UK (as are many capitals) but this north/south divide thing English people go on about just seems bizarre when you actually are living in a different country in the genuinely most Northern part of the UK.

As for folk suggesting you need to stay to hold on to your valuable place on the London property ladder...seriously, what are you living your lives for?

RedToothBrush · 21/02/2015 10:23

found it really insular, and lots of the people I worked with had never lived anywhere else!

This is the thing. There are places in the SE that are like that. And there are places in the North which are the complete opposite. It really depends on where you live and what circles you move in.

Where I live is very much a commuter area. People are more likely to be from outside the area than live here a long time. I am unusual because I grew up here (but have moved away and come back and I'm well travelled). NONE of the people from my school year stayed here. Which considering it was a large school is surprising. My friends from across the years are scattered across the world. The friends we have who live reasonably close (but not in the same place) have moved around a lot and are well travelled. The strange thing is, out of everyone at school, I would have been the one people would have said would move away.

I do know places and people that are incredibly insular and have the same friends they had at school. This was particularly the case at work, but DH's experience has been very different, mainly because of the industry he's in. The funny thing is I know next to no one locally, and have been trying to meet new people recently since becoming pregnant and having DS.

Insular can be a good thing in a way though, as it means there is a certain community. The trouble is that can be difficult to break into and to feel like you belong. There can be a certain amount of reverse snobbery, but I think the same problem can apply to northerners moving south in certain areas too. Where it bothers me is when people don't want to travel an hour outside their normal circle.

RedToothBrush · 21/02/2015 10:27

And the same thing applies to some Londoners.

RedToothBrush · 21/02/2015 10:31

We have a 'friend' (well we are friends with his wife) who refuses to visit us as he thinks its uncivilised up here. He won't go north of Oxford. He's a bit of a tosser.