AIBU to think that my husband to come downstairs to partake in daughters birthday

[Bravenewworld1]

Today is my daughters 8th birthday. she has never had a birthday party in the traditional sense, usually we just go out for lunch. this year I wanted to give her a proper party. I invited 14 of her school friends to the house. I made a pass the parcel., party bags little prizes for the kids and so on. a friend offered to help ouT- she was brilliant and I dont think i could have done it without her. they arrived at 1 left at 2. my husband works for himself so can decide when he takes time off. usually he works weekends. he did take the day off but spend the most of his time in his room. he helped me clean the house in the morning and took my daughter to the shops which are a 5 min walk away to buy her present- all this took about 20 mins. During the party he popped down twice for about 2 mins. he wasn't even there when she was blowing out her candles. as well as this he didn't lift a finger to clear up the mess after I FEEL REALLY DISAPPOINTED- especially as he is going away for a couple of days tomorrow. I told him how upset I was- he responded by saying that he took the day off , he doesn't do parties ant that he's a 48 year man and doesn't have to help out if he doesn't want too. he has stayed in his room most of the eveining.

I have to be honest he is usually a very good father we have 2 kids and he is a fun and loving father.He drives kids to school every morning as I cant as I have too leave for work at 7.oo and I don't drive. my problems are not usually related to his ability to be a good father. However, he is selfish. I have tonnes of paper work in the evening- I am a teacher but will do it downstairs so I am still with the kids. H stays in his room to do his paperwork. he will often to some fun spontaneous activity like taking them both to the cinema on a Sunday morning but most weekends he works. We hardly ever go out anywhere but he manages to go out with his friends about once a week. I know that isn't much but I hardly ever go out without kids and he is not al all interested in making arrangement's for us to go out. He is a man who never admits to being wrong. when I raise any concerns he totally dismisses what I have to say- I tend to raise my voice due to sheer frustration he tells me i am shouting ( when I am not) and then he tells me i am abusive and a nasty person. then he will ignore me for afew days. what should I do I am not happy- went to doctor today and am back on anti depressents - citropram.

If you keep thinking you can hear something - thats your self esteem and confidence leaking out.

Oh OP you poor thing. Is relationship counselling a possibility? Your H needs to be aware that part of being a good dad is being a good husband. My dh doesn't tend to organise (or feel all that bothered about) time as a couple which I find hurtful :-( but it is partly that he does love being with the dcs too.

Seeing your Dr was a good step. I don't think you sound abusive but he does - like he's setting you up to fail according to his bizarre standards. Without having read your other threads, you don't seem happ, but the unhappiness you list seems to relate to him. Give your meds time to work (at least the 6 weeks) while you think through what you want. Personally, I couldn't be with someone like that.

Op anti d's won't work lovely your still living with the issue for which you are taking them. If I were you ide start some driving lessons and quietly make your future plans, maybe without him in them.

Just to say that he is not a loving father if he can't be arsed to show up for his own dd's birthday party.

And he is the one who sounds abusive.