Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To find my 2.10 year old dd so fucking irritating?!

89 replies

CheeseDreams · 17/02/2015 20:04

First post so please to gentle!

I have a 2.10 dd and 4 month old ds. My DH works away so it's just me and the kids m-f. I'm just finding my dd so irritating, I then get snappy with her so she plays up more I shout and then she cries and I feel terrible.

This evening she refused to eat her dinner so I told her I would go upstairs and run the bath if she wasn't going to eat her dinner, so every time I go out to go she would beg me to stay and then eat one bite then refuse to eat any more. After about the 5th time of this I did go out stairs. Que hysterical sobbing. Take her and baby upstairs and she keeps doing things to irritate me (clearly to get attention) while I am bathing the baby she then gets in the bath and is fine until I take the baby out at which point she screams and sobs so I get her out too and she just cries and cries. All while I am trying to get a very tired and hungry 16 week old ready for bed. I get them both ready for bed and tell her she can come with me to the babies room while I feed him and read her a book. She comes along but then start shouting so snapped at her through gritted teeth to be quite at which point she bursts in to tears again and screams and sobs.

I'm just so fucking fed up. I'm knackered and exclusively breasting feeding a very hungry 16 week old and already feel guilty that she's not getting the attention she was but at the moment she just seems to irritate me so much which means I don't want to spend time with her.

I'm trying so hard to be patient and even took her out just the two of us at the weekend but I just don't feel I am being very nice to her. And I feel awful saying it but I don't feel like I like her.

I know she is playing up in reaction to how I am being with her but how do I stop this cycle?

I know her world has been turned upside down by having her brother arrive, every evening I cry and plan to be really patience and calm and kind the next day and within about 10 minutes that changed and I am snapping again.

Is it normal for her to be like this at this age? It it normal to feel like such a bloody failure?

OP posts:

ithoughtofitfirst · 18/02/2015 20:08

Meanwhile, back in the real world.

DisappointedOne · 18/02/2015 20:17

I was 2.10 when my sister arrived. We hated each other from the word go, and still do 34 years later.

Hence DD is an only child. I wouldn't inflict a sibling on her.

goldvelvet · 18/02/2015 20:19

Ah so disappointed you are giving parenting advice on a situation you have never experienced as parent....

windchime · 18/02/2015 20:20

I remember when I felt so ashamed when I opened the front door to a friend at 2pm, looking like I had just got out of bed. I hadn't eaten, the house was a mess, I was a mess, but the baby was in a perfect state of fullness and cleanliness. OP, you are doing it with two of them. They are still alive. Pat yourself on the back. One day you will be dragging one of them off the xbox, and persuading both of them to do their homework.

parallax80 · 18/02/2015 20:49

Lucky you didn't have twins Disappointed

listsandbudgets · 18/02/2015 21:16

Just remembered some wonderful advice a mumsnetter was once given by her health visitor and posted here.

Her HV told her to relax, accept her standards were too high and to keep repeating under her breath "everybody's fed, nobody's dead". OK its pretty basic but some days I feel like that's all I achieve!

Sootgremlin · 18/02/2015 21:17

Thank you disappointed

Original poster

CheeseDreams · 18/02/2015 21:20

'Every bodies fed, nobodies dead' love that! That's something I can achieve!

OP posts:

Original poster

CheeseDreams · 18/02/2015 21:53

body's nobody's

OP posts:

DixieNormas · 18/02/2015 22:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SolasEile · 19/02/2015 00:59

Projecting much, Disappointed? Just because you were irrevocably traumatized by the arrival of your sibling, it doesn't follow that all first-born children are the wronged party in the horrible upheaval that is the arrival of a sibling.

Good post, Tread - some great tips for handling the dynamics of the new sibling relationship.

Iggly · 19/02/2015 13:31

I was 2.10 when my sister arrived. We hated each other from the word go, and still do 34 years later

My brother arrived 20 months after I was born. I love him more and we had great fun growing up!

ScrumpyBetty · 19/02/2015 14:20

disappointed try having some empathy! you only have one child and obviously can't understand what it is like having two, so maybe you should take your judgey pants elsewhere, as you are clearly not helping.

Plenty of people swear about their children, and it doesn't make them bad parents, sometimes it can be useful for expressing how fed up and utterly in despair you can be in a certain situation!

ClumsyNinja · 19/02/2015 14:59

Disappointed with your lot in life?

Have you considered counselling to help you deal with the trauma of having a sister inflicted upon you?

Flip

1 2 3 4