AIBU to say out loud that pregnancy mostly SUCKS?!

[swanseacat]

There, I've said it. It feels like such a taboo to say it, and for so many understandable reasons. Let me elaborate...

This is my second pregnancy, our first took us 2 years, and we'd just started investigations when I fell pregnant. Actually I carted my poor hungover DH round the Fertility Show and forced him to give a sample, all the while unaware I was several weeks pregnant. So we thought our second one might take a while, and after about 6 months of trying (already aged 36) we started down the investigative road again. Thanks to the joy of the NHS it took about 18 months to rule our chances of conceiving naturally very low, and then to send us privately as we don't qualify for any free cycles having a DD already. The first cycle cost £6k and failed. We embarked on our second and last, extremely pessimistic, and gearing up to get a pet instead. Much to our surprise, it worked.

I say all this so no one thinks I have taken the fact of getting and staying pregnant lightly. It's taken 2 years and £12k to get to this point. I know all too well what it is like to sit on the outside of the pregnancy club looking wistfully in, and therefore it seems so deeply insensitive to moan about how dreadful I have felt, every day since week 5. And yet that is the reality. Hideous constant nausea, never actually culminating in being sick but forcing me to seek out food every 15 minutes, hating most of what I am eating and its impact on my body, but unable to ignore the vile feelings in my stomach and mouth. Crushing tiredness, so that after a 2 hour nap of the dead in the afternoons I wake up still exhausted. And now, at 19 weeks, I've added agonising back pain. And the response of just about every single medical profession / care giver? SUCK IT UP, B, YOU'RE PREGNANT!!!!!!

Yes, I know it's a great thing, but should that make my daily experience of mostly misery any less real? Does it help when people say 'Oh, morning sickness, that's good, it must be a strong pregnancy'? Does it b***s. Every so often I encounter other mums who tell me gleefully "I threw up 4 times a day throughout my entire pregnancy" like it's some kind of badge of honour, which of course only serves to make me feel like a wuss for even thinking of complaining. So, mostly, I don't, and it's just my poor DH who gets it in the neck ever so often when I can't bottle it up anymore.

AIBU to wish it was appropriate to be more honest?

YANBU

30 weeks here

Morning sickness 3 times a day minimum since 6 weeks

Heartburn

Knackered

My vagina hurts

Mikado if your experience is anything to go by then number 2 is going to come from the RSPCA

28 weeks here with DD2 - and suffering! Why is it so hard the second time around? Devastating tiredness and insomnia (I actually slept under a quiet desk at work once - till my own snoring woke me up), discharge, stabby lady bits, aches and pains and a bump that looks 9 months rather than 6-something. I'm both pregnant and massively fat - like a human toad with no discernible chin - and can't find anything nice to wear. God only knows what this poor baby is growing from as I'm eating rubbish as I feel so sorry for myself! I really ought to be taking more care of myself but - meh...
To cap it all off, I've had a cold and at the weekend I sneezed so hard I wet myself. That was a golden moment (for all the wrong reasons).

I've just read that back and I sound just like the moany git I'm afraid I'm becoming! I am looking forward to her arrival - honest! Just sooner rather than later...

RSPCA? Don't get it ohfourfoxache?

Each pregnancy is different. With my first I had hideous morning sickness (ie. losing weight and being sick four times a day) and my second pregnancy I had no morning sickness. However I had SPD which is just as bad.

I hate pregnancy. I am wierd in that I quite like childbirth because it was the end of being pregnant. With my second child the labour pains were no where near as bad as the SPD.

Yanbu, 33 weeks here, vomited repeatedly every day up to 17 weeks, got slightly better for a couple of weeks, started eating non beige food, then back ache landed, I got really tired from not sleeping and the vomming came back
Now while I vom I think about how hungry I am, and cannot wait for this baby to come out so that my organs can move back where they should be and I can eat more than 3 mouthfuls before being full!
And the pelvic pain. Oh dear God, pgp is actually torture :(
Very jealous of anyone who has sailed through with no issues, compared to some people's lists mine are pretty minor, but this baby's gonna have to be pretty damn near magical to make me think about doing all this again!

Another one here who hates being pregnant.

I thought I was sick with dc 1 but with dc 2 I couldn't stand up for 7 weeks! Every time it lifted my head I fainted or threw up. Had 2 months off work and it drives me crazy when people say "I was sick in pregnancy but I had to go on!" I actually had to crawl along the ground to get from a to b some days.

So I'm going to be really annoying op and say pregnancy is tough but it's a hell of a lot worse second time around when you have a toddler to look after.

I'm actually still traumatised by my second pregnancy and dd is 10 weeks.

Mikado, I think she means she'll adopt a pet instead of doing pregnancy again :)

I'm stopping at 1 dc Mikado - next time I'm getting a cat instead of going through another pregnancy!

X post Cutting

Hated all four of my pregnancies. I'm clearly an idiot hardcore as i put my self through it 4 times. Goes without saying I love the little wotsits and wouldn't be without them for the world.

Oh thanks for explaining-I googled rspca to see if thefe was another one!! God I didn't think mine was that bad..and only sixteen bloody weeks in!! I still recommend the outcome tho!!

Yeay this is the thread for me! 31+3 with dc2 and I feel like crap, baby is in a crap position, and Im so grumpy. I just want everyone except DH, ds1 and my mum to disappear until the baby is here. Glad I'm not the only one hating it! And all those worthy bump pics that people put on Pinterest make me extra stabby.

I just want a glass of wine, a proper glass, not some pregnancy safe 10ml conciliatory measure. A big fucking goblet :D

Yanbu - it's 7 years since I was last pg and I still regularly feel grateful that I'm not now. The nausea was horrendous - became quite depressing after 5 months of it with dc2. I also didn't like being that physically big. I piled on 4 stone second time round and felt like I was taking up a lot of space. I know that sounds weird.

I also went off so much food I think I was down to a diet of toasted teacakes for most of it. Which, come to think of it, have always been dc2's favourite food

Hated all 3 pregnancies, especially the 3rd. Love my kids and they were worth it but thank goodness it's all over. Labours were great though with only g&a but I'm guessing that's because I knew there was light at the end of the tunnel and my horrible pregnancy was nearly over.

Yanbu - it's 7 years since I was last pg and I still regularly feel grateful that I'm not now. The nausea was horrendous - became quite depressing after 5 months of it with dc2. I also didn't like being that physically big. I piled on 4 stone second time round and felt like I was taking up a lot of space. I know that sounds weird.

I also went off so much food I think I was down to a diet of toasted teacakes for most of it. Which, come to think of it, have always been dc2's favourite food

Bloody ipad - sorry for double post

Too many funny and more importantly honest posts to thank each of you personally, but THANK YOU for cheering me up no end and good luck to everyone still in the throes.

Totally with you.

24 weeks and pretty miserable. If one more person says I'm looking great!

I'm really not, got pale pasty skin with spots galore!! Plus the back ache, eesh!

This sprog better be perfect!!

YANBU. Haven't even had hyperemesis this time round but it's still MISERY!

Yanbu. I loathe pregnancy and throughout my first I regularly whined about the "conspiracy of silence" around how crap it is. I have subsequently decided that most women genuinely don't seem to hate it as much and the rest just lie.

Even when I am feeling "well" I hate it. It's icky and disgusting and tiring and comes with a million random symptoms. And yy to the posters commenting in how it doesn't matter what you say your symptoms are, "my left leg writhes with what looks like
Snakes under the skin while the pain is in line with being burnt alive" and the response is, "it's pregnancy. Suck it up. At least the baby is ok". Drives me absolutely demented. Especially considering that care in pregnancy largely comes from women. Even the consultants I have seen have been mostly female. And yet...

Argh. Stand up and shout it out. That's what I say.

I tried to console myself with chocolate icecream and call the midwife.

I now feel like I swallowed a baked potato whole.

YANBU. It is just awful sometimes. I had awful sickness the whole way through - drugs helped control the vomiting but didn't do much for the nausea, which was every waking moment until the day after DD was born and totally debilitating. It was the hardest bloody thing I have ever gone through, I felt so isolated and miserable and midwives were no help at all for most of it.

On the plus side, hideous pregnancy made looking after a newborn after c-section easy as pie in comparison. I was just so happy not to be sick any more!

Oh mrscog, you just made me remember how much I miss wine. Lovely cold white wine, how I have missed you!
Sadly, because I have insane pregnancy sense of smell, you also make me want to vom, but soon I'll make it up to you!