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AIBU?

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Original poster

school nurse letter

495 replies

devonshiredumpling · 14/02/2015 18:42

got a letter this morning rom the schoolnurse service to say that after being weighed my dd has been catergorised as severely overweight. we also got a leaflet saying that her diet could be better (she has at least seven portion of friut and veg) we also need to increase her activity level but since moving to the country we cannot get her out of the garden and off her bike ,she is tall for her age at 122.8 cm and she weighs 29.9kg but you cannot see any fat on her she is five .any help would be good aibu to feel peeved about this (she is five and half)

OP posts:
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6
nocoolnamesleft · 15/02/2015 02:22

Dear OP, I'm afraid that, based on the numbers you've given, it really does sound like your doubtless beautiful dd is significantly overweight. I do think it's getting harder for us to see it. But, assuming those figures to be correct, by starting to work on it now, you can really help her to avoid storing up trouble for the future. Might I suggest keeping a food diary (of everything eaten and drunk) for a few weeks? Most people find there's more on it than they expect. In a lot of areas, the school nurses are the leads for healthy lifestyle stuff in kids. But if you're struggling to spot what to change, then ask your GP for a referral to a paediatric dietician, and take the food diary with you. The most common thing seems to be not so much picking unhealthy foods, as that so many of us (yes, I'm guilty of this one) have a distorted impression of what is a normal/healthy portion size. But take heart. At that age, she doesn't need to actually lose weight. You can just help her to put on weight much more slowly, so that as she grows vertically, she slims out. Good luck.

And Jane, I hate to blow your mind, but paediatricians (especially community paediatricians) often hold clinics physically based in schools.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 15/02/2015 06:25

daryl
devonshire did ask for advice "any help would be good"

TheRealAmandaClarke · 15/02/2015 06:27

Oh, and some ppl need to learn that they dont actually have a right to have the health interventions of their choosing by the hcp of their choosing. GPs are not there to pander to the whims of difficult parents.

PossumPoo · 15/02/2015 07:25

MN at it's best eh. 5 pages of poster's telling one poster she's wrong. Jane doesn't give a shit what you all thought, made it very clear but oh no, you all had to tell her over and over and fucking over how wrong she is.

The UK is such a nanny state I'm not surprised they want to weigh and tell you how to raise your dc. After all, this fabulous NHS can't handle the stress of all these obese dc hence all the lunch box threads.

DD starts school this year and I'm dreading it. How about the government let me worry about raising my dc and they worry about running the country.

OwlinaTree · 15/02/2015 07:29

possum because a child isn't raised in isolation from the society it lives in.

Sirzy · 15/02/2015 07:35

Which is fine for those children who have no struggles but most children need some sort of extra support at some point and schools are great at helping with access to that. (Generally)

There is a lot of truth in the saying it takes a village to raise a child.

PossumPoo · 15/02/2015 07:39

Owlina Confused I know that, but thanks for clarifying and clearly not bothering to read my post.

Pipbin · 15/02/2015 07:42

Just because you have managed to carry a baby to term it doesn't mean you actually know anything about raising a child.
Pushing a person out of your fanjo does not bestow you with magical parenting skills.

And the reason people kept telling Jane that she was wrong was because she factually was. Not opinion, fact.

OwlinaTree · 15/02/2015 07:43

I did read your post. You want to raise you child all on your own, you don't want the state to advise or interfere.

cricketballs · 15/02/2015 07:44

Possum - it's because of a number of abuse cases, children who have medical issues that have been ignored etc that these checks are in place, so in actual fact the government are doing what it should in trying to ensure all are safe and healthy

OwlinaTree · 15/02/2015 07:51

If we have state run health care, I don't think it's unreasonable for the state to put some responsibility on us to look after ourselves and help our children live healthily. Can't say I think much of some of the change for life advice, but I can understand why the government has become involved in this aspect of our lives; we've proved to be crap at being healthy all on our own.

As a society we are quickly realising that being overweight has no quick fix. I'm not sure what the answer is, but leaving us to it had resulted in a largely overweight and obese nation. It is right that the government tries to do something to prevent the next generation having the same issues.

pippitysqueakity · 15/02/2015 08:16

Eeeek. I can kind of see Jane's point. I think she is wrong, but I can see some people do not like their children being taken away from their learning for an activity normally associated with another profession.
Having been involved with the flu sniffy thing this year, I cannot imagine any other way it could be done so thoroughly and efficiently. Maybe 10/15 mins out of class, and learning to line, wait for turn, listen to instructions none of these things is a wasted educational experience, wherever it is done.
I feel people who proclaim 'schools are for education' really have no idea of the breadth or purpose of education.
And I hope OP is ok, and will maybe start another thread where she can address the issues she brought up.

NerrSnerr · 15/02/2015 08:17

It's not just overweight children they look for, the 'nanny state' are also looking for underweight children so they can rule out neglect.

OwlinaTree · 15/02/2015 08:18

Good point nerr

Icimoi · 15/02/2015 08:20

Possumpoo, Jane: does it occur to you that, possibly, a height and weight check may pick up a medical problem (such as diabetes or anorexia) which the best parent in the world may miss? Or indeed that such checks do in fact regularly pick up malnourished children?

Out of interest: am I right in thinking that the very fact that a parent refuses such checks may raise red flags about what they are trying to hide?

TheRealAmandaClarke · 15/02/2015 08:27

Yes icimoi that is a possibility. But the checks are not compulsory so in the absence of any other recognised problems (eg. history, school attendance etc) it would be a non-issue.

Rowgtfc72 · 15/02/2015 08:46

Dd is seven,eight in three weeks. We had the letter in reception from school to say she was obese. I'm obese so do know the difference between a healthy weight and an unhealthy weight. She didn't look overweight to me so I made a further appointment with the school nurse. She laughed at me. Dd is solid ,on the 98 the centile for height and muscular. She had no concerns.
Go see your school nurse.
Dd is now 139cm and 5st 6. Still measuring as obese but the school nurse still has no concerns.
If you're not sure or at least questioning it, the school nurse will tell you to your face how it is.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 15/02/2015 09:07

I don't understand how on these threads people's children are always 'solid' or even 'muscular'?
It just isn't possible and seems like another phrase like 'puppy fat' to make parents feel better about their children being overweight

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 15/02/2015 09:10

Yes sorry. Any child I see at swimming who is "solid" looking is overweight. It happens and I never judge. .DD eats loads and could easily become overweight, but denial isn't healthy either.

BMO · 15/02/2015 09:15

Pre-pubescent children who are "solid" are overweight.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 15/02/2015 09:18

Andchildren who are "measuring as obese" are actually overweight.

bumbleymummy · 15/02/2015 09:29

I don't want to sound mean but I have heard parents in DSs class describing their children as 'solid' and 'muscley' and 'same build as their Dad' etc and they all just look overweight. (Some of the Dads do too!) I think people really have lost sight of what a healthy weight looks like. It's scary.

Older · 15/02/2015 09:31

Weight is such a major influence on health. Being overweight as a child is an even bigger influence because you are setting up a child for a lifetime of fighting it.

I want my child to be healthy now and as an adult. I don't like the idea of her being weighed, vaccinated or in any other way given medical care in school (bit like Jane in this respect). However...I recognise that it's the best way to effectively deliver healthcare that will have a big impact on the health of all children. So unlike Jane I support it.

Cantbelievethisishappening · 15/02/2015 09:37

The UK is such a nanny state I'm not surprised they want to weigh and tell you how to raise your dc

Because obese children tend to become obese adults who will inevitably need tax payer funded medical intervention.Hmm

But I'm sure you knew that didn't you.

m0therofdragons · 15/02/2015 09:44

I think this proves the importance of these letters. Parents have no idea what overweight looks like.
Having said that, I have id twins who eat the same and one is half a stone heavier and was heavier at birth. Definitely check the graph in her red book. I'm often amazed at portion sizes other doc eat. Dd 1 is 7 and eats half what her friends eat. Smaller portions with an option for seconds would be better than piling it up.
It may be she's fine but it's better to check with the gp now. Why would you feel peeved would you prefer no one mentioned it?

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