Elderly uncle not allowed to attend book group anymore

[Pinkrosesarebest]

My elderly uncle recently moved to a bungalow in a village near to me as he has no other family (moving 20 miles from previous home so harder for old friends to pop in). He is still relatively active, and, as an avid reader decided to join a reading group in the village in a bid to meet people. He has been attending a couple of months and enjoys it.

However he just told me that he was politely told by one lady, in an embarrassed, laughy way not to return to the group. It was an all-female older lady group (although that was a coincidence, not advertised as females only) and apparently his prescence meant they could no longer gossip and chat at ease. Apparently he was let down in a "aren't ladies silly" kind of way.

He was a bit sad but is philosophical about it (as is his nature- very gentle soul). However, I, on the other hand, am seething with rage and don't know whether to confront the organiser. Why advertise a group in the village paper if it is not open to all and totally selective?! This is also very discriminatory against men. Just needed to vent! Anyway AIBU to feel so so hurt for him. This is hardly welcoming to an old gent on his own in a new area.

Hmmm, as this is a village, I wonder if a chat with the local minister might bear fruit? They might know of other groups that would welcome your uncle? And might also be able to promote a spirit of inclusiveness (if the women go to church of course!)

What a miserable bunch. I'd go to the next one and tell them just how unkind their behaviour was. The fact it is in a village is all the more reason to be inclusive, surely?

Your poor uncle, but, he is lucky to have you by the sounds of things.

How very mean.

If it was my grandad, who was an absolute gentlemen,I would go along to the book club and ask them as a group at the end why he was excluded.
That woman may have took it on her self to say that.

Sounds like my mum, she told a nice old man he couldn't come to the theatre group she organised because it was 'for able bodied people' - he uses a zimmer frame! He gets out and about plenty himself and I was really appalled by her words/stance - told her that was discrimination etc. Old lasies can be right awful, hope I don't get like that. Your poor uncle. Maybe he could start a group himself? Might find some of the original group actually swap sides.

The little libraries around our local towns run book clubs, as they are very keen to get people to use their facilities, now they are not council run.

They are not discriminatory. They make cake too.

Is there a parish magazine in which he might be able to suggest forming a new group? I live in a small village too, and was politely informed that there was a waiting list for the book club, that the group liked to discuss "serious novels", and I'd have to be 'interviewed' by the group.

I took my homemade cake and sodding English degree to a lovely book club in my old village.

I bet your charming uncle's not the first to have been given the cold handbag by that lot. He might find a fair few takers for a breakaway group.

"But I might ping an email politely saying they might need to advertise it as females only if that is what it is in reality."
Definitely. Although I'd replace the 'might need to' with 'should'. Bloody rude of them to do that to your uncle. And whatever other man who thinks they would like to join a book club .

Oh, that's so sad. Poor fella. I hope it doesn't knock his confidence. Agree with trying other groups or starting his own.

Sounds like he had a lucky escape from that coven of witches. Hope he finds a nicer group to be involved with. Aw I just want to give him a hug.

You mentions that he saw it advertised in a village paper? Then I would write a lovely piece for that paper.

Gossiping fishwives namedand shamed in the local paper is what they deserve and hopefully some lovely friendsly people will come forward with suggestions.

And churches are great at making friends and clubs for seniors!

Can I give your uncle a hug!!

Fucking nobheads :(
My uncle is similar to yours and I would want to rip their hair out for hurting him
Incidentally my uncle goes to choir, model railway club and snooker club. Is their anything like that near you?

Could you tell us vaguely the area? Maybe we could help find more places for him to socialise?

How awful.
Has he looked into local U3A groups? My DMiL goes to a monthly discussion group in a local pub, nice lunch, a chance to set the world to rights, what's not to like?

How mean!

Poor guy! He should be thankful, though. My experience with book clubs with women is that they want to read Twilight and 50 Shades of Gray and books by Nicholas Sparks. Blech. He should form his own book club with cool books he wants to read.

YANBU, maybe he could start his own more inclusive one?

Your poor uncle. What a mean group of women.

steff13, you made me laugh.

I've been to two groups.

The first was basically an excuse for women to have a night out with their female friends. The books were a sideshow. Most of the women had not read a page but went along anyway.

The second was fiercely competitive, worthy and dominated by three people with English degrees from Oxbridge.

Very nasty. Hugs to your uncle.

However can we stop the old whitch, women book clubs only wanting to read twilight bollocks or it becomes as stupid a generalisation and as mean spirited as these mean people.

And I blame midsomer murders.

I thought your book club exclusion was bad enough, but MMs story is horrendous. I'm disabled and love theatre. I guess I should have joined a drana group before I became a disgusting cripple.

If the man had used a frame for any length of time it won't be the first time someone would have treated him this way. Though probably one of the most hurtful. He's braver than I am, even trying to join something, only to be turned away by such a cruel person.

It doesn't matter that it's illegal and cruel, people do believe that disabled people must be kept away at all cost. Probably think it's catching.

Has he tried joining U3A? They have book groups open to all. Libraries often have them open to all. They are being very unfriendly.

Yes mms story is breathtakingly cruel. And surely illegal.

Yanbu. Your poor uncle. What nasty women. I wonder if theres a university if the third age book club near you. If not there might be other things he got it. I recommend u3a to all my patients on their own. Goggle it.

The University of the Third Age (U3A) movement is a unique and exciting organisation which provides, through its U3As, life-enhancing and life-changing opportunities. Retired and semi-retired people come together and learn together, not for qualifications but for its own reward: the sheer joy of discovery!