Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder if parents evening is just a waste of everyones time

71 replies

redandwhitetoadstool · 12/02/2015 21:33

all the teachers seem to say is every child is wonderful
year 3 btw

no personalised advice at all, just generic handouts

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 12/02/2015 21:39

Did you ask questions to get the information you wanted?

flora717 · 12/02/2015 21:40

That does sound like a waste of time. Did you ask about specifics gor your child?

LindyHemming · 12/02/2015 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Duskydawn · 12/02/2015 22:06

Handouts should be eg to explain the curriculum, but they could easily be emailed, no need to come in.

So did they not actually talk to you one to one about your own child?
Sometimes you need to ask specific targeted questions to get the answers you want about your child.

ReallyBadParty · 12/02/2015 22:10

YANBU. Complete waste of time.

Never, ever again.

LornMowa · 12/02/2015 22:12

Yep I agree. These days teachers don't seem to be able to say anything spontaneous about our children. They just look at their spreadsheet and tell us the result of their last assessment.

Everything seems to based on some snapshot exam done in Y6. No effort seems to have been made to adjust the targets in relation to more recent activity. They might as well just email me.

They now do parents evening in the daytime so I have to use precious annual leave.

edwinbear · 12/02/2015 22:16

Ours aren't like that, ds's is very much tailored to him, what he is good at and what he needs to work on with specific examples, comments on his behaviour and how he interacts with his peers and any concerns we may want to raise.

KindleFancy · 12/02/2015 22:20

I'm quite surprised at a couple of the comments.

Every parents evening we've been to (dc are 7 and 4 and there are two PE a year) has been very personal to our dc.

Yes, I've got the standard 'level' information (We're in Wales and there are 6 levels to hit between Nursery and Year 2) but we've also got a lot of personal information, a general chat, a couple of funny anecdotes of things the dc have done/said.

I do think that may be one of the benefits of being in a smaller Primary tbh...there are 25 in ds1's year and 17 in ds2's.

Anyway, IME it's personal. I love parents evening Smile

LindyHemming · 12/02/2015 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mitzi50 · 12/02/2015 22:23

I try to do Parent's evenings like edwinbear describes. If I had concerns about a child, I wouldn't wait til parents eve to discuss matters so most issues would be fairly minor.

Snapespotions · 12/02/2015 22:29

I've had very good, relevant discussions with dd's teacher at parents' evenings. Don't you get the opportunity to ask any questions?

DD's current teacher asks right at the beginning of the meeting if there is anything we'd like to ask.

LineRunner · 12/02/2015 22:32

Just been to my last ever parents' evening.

Yay.

Same old same old. 'If he applied himself and learned the exam techniques he could get a X grade'.

LineRunner · 12/02/2015 22:33

You get five minutes.

Five bloody minutes.

TheFairyCaravan · 12/02/2015 22:33

I went to my last ever parents' evening yesterday. I've had 2 children go through school to Yr13 and I don't think they are a waste of time. They have always been personal to our DC. I think they are really beneficial, especially in secondary school where the child might have a problem but won't speak up. It's the ideal opportunity.

Last night was probably the last time I shall see DS2's teachers (unless they are there on results day) so it was nice to say thank you and it was lovely to hear them say they will miss DS2.

A couple of the teachers grabbed me, as they had a free space, to ask after DS1 which was unexpected but they were really pleased to hear how he was getting on.

I shall miss parents evening, DS2's teachers (and DS1's) are really lovely.

ANewMein2015 · 12/02/2015 22:36

I like getting a feel for my daughter's teacher, find out what they are currently learning, see the classroom etc. It helps to get a "feel" for how things are for the major part of her day.

All the specific individualised targets make me sad though. (infant school)

Snapespotions · 12/02/2015 22:42

Five bloody minutes

We get ten! Smile

YourDaughterHasaTattoo · 12/02/2015 22:49

As a teacher in a secondary school I have 3 sets of year 11 students to see at parents ev, that's about 60 kids. Fair enough they don't all turn up, but I struggle to give more time to each parent and still leave before 8pm (having started at 5.30!) lornmowa we're not allowed to change the targets. They are set for us based on external exams (normally sats, gcses etc). They are supposed to be "aspirational"; we get little say in moving them (unless it's up of course!).
I still enjoy parents ev though; I love chatting to parents about their children, gives you extra insight into each child as a person. It's a two way method of communication

Vastra · 12/02/2015 23:27

It might feel like a waste of time, but as a child I used to wish my mum would go to parents' evening. The fact that she didn't made me feel like she didn't care about me or my education. I always go to my child's teacher conferences purely to show that I care. Sometimes they are informative, sometimes they are bob useless, but I am showing an interest and that will do for me.

UptheChimney · 13/02/2015 07:36

These days teachers don't seem to be able to say anything spontaneous about our children. They just look at their spreadsheet and tell us the result of their last assessment.

Given the response here when teachers do dare to say anything spontaneous about people's PFBs which doesn't back up the parents' assumption of their FB's P, I'm not surprised.

AnyFucker · 13/02/2015 07:40

I hate parents evening with every fibre of my being

Older · 13/02/2015 07:40

Mostly they are very good. The teachers who don't actually know my child rarely impress but the vast majority know her, know her strengths and weaknesses and give me ideas for helping and encouraging. Mostly it's an opportunity to let DDS know I think they are important and I'm impressed by their work

Flimflammer · 13/02/2015 07:41

What is said is mostly incomprehensible gabble about levels and tmg .....I listen politely then ask if he is behaving himself and working hard enough. That's really all I need to know.

bruffin · 13/02/2015 08:08

Given the response here when teachers do dare to say anything spontaneous about people's PFBs which doesn't back up the parents' assumption of their FB's P, I'm not surprised.

Grin spot on
Dreading ours last night for DD 17 as she had done badly in her mocks, but it was very positive as she knows the subjects, participates well etc and last night was a very much a boost her confidence exercise. It can be all doom and gloom when they get bad exam scores but as a parent it is reassuring to know that your child is very capable and its about tweaking their skills, rather than a complete overhall. Parents evening put everything into perspective and gave her and us some ideas of where to go next.

Mehitabel6 · 13/02/2015 08:09

I have always found them very good but you need to be prepared. Have a list of questions and know what you want to discuss - it is a two way thing and if you expect just to sit and get information I expect that you will be disappointed.

MyVisionsComeFromSoup · 13/02/2015 08:19

in 17 years I've been told something I didn't already know about my DC twice at parents evenings.

Last night's with DD2 though was v useful - she's Y12 and deciding which subjects to carry on to A2, and needed to chat through with the teachers how/if she could get the grades she needs for what she wants to do next.

Lower down the school though, it's more a case of showing the school that I'm an interested parent.