to wonder if parents evening is just a waste of everyones time

[redandwhitetoadstool]

all the teachers seem to say is every child is wonderful
year 3 btw

no personalised advice at all, just generic handouts

I find ours useful, but we get to look through all their books beforehand which is interesting in itself, and always come out knowing what their maths and english targets are which helps us to help them at home.

The being told your child is wonderful is lovely'n'all, I can spare 5 mins from my life to be told that even if it's said to everyone. It's no bad thing to focus on what your child does well for 5 mins, twice a year! But ours isn't just that.

Also I do think it gives the teacher an insight into the child. For example in y2 DD's teacher thought DD was struggling with place value whereas we could tell her she was solid on it conceptually but was very inclined to mirror writing.

Our PE are great and very personal. I agree about showing an interest.

how do you know thats what they are saying to every child.

are you the teacher? are you handing out crap>

I know ours dont, because we are told where dd needs help, and what she is good at. I have also heard parents in dismay at dc issues talking about it after in class room,

My DC has SN and yep ours it pretty pointless. We get to look through DC's books which is always illuminating (!). Then we get a 5 minute (she uses an egg timer) chat with the teacher. There is absolutely no time to get into anything really. Every time they say "DC's doing well considering!" As part of the referral procedure to get a firm diagnosis and treatment plan we also had to get a copy of the school reports, and when I requested them the HT said "oh, they won't tell them anything at all!". I agree they don't.

If there are any actual concerns about your kid you will probably find yourself invited to hours-long case reviews OP, so the 5 uninformative minutes on parents evening (in the day - who is teaching the class!?) is probably deemed ample and you can assume no news/fluff news is good news.

I stopped going to the primary school parents evening three years ago, after waiting for 45 minutes beyond my appointment time to be told DD is working hard, getting good results but needs to work on her handwriting as it is too small and being talked through the report we'd had in the post that week. All the appointments are in the school hall so it's incredibly noisy and to be honest, if there was a problem I'd expect the school to be in touch by phone rather than find out in a crowded room. DD hasn't been disadvantaged by my refusal to go, we are very much pro-education as a family and support homework, extra curricular activities and fêtes.

On the other hand, PEs at the secondary school are much more productive and informative, I always take the time to attend for DS and will do the same for DD when she goes there.

It is a huge mistake not to attend- you go down as the parent who doesn't care.

Ours are generally good. The first I went to in reception was a bit odd but since they have bbeen useful. Y 1 teacher we have is really really good so that helps.

We get 10 mins but it never feels long enough.

I used to teach RS (which was an ace subject in our school as it was philosophy based). I taught 90 students in yr8, 90 students in yr 9, 60 in yr 10, 40 in yr 12 and 40 in yr 13.

I loved meeting the parents but in reply to a poster above OBVIOUSLY I had to ask who you were there to see! I taught 320 students and unlike primary have absolutely no idea who the parents were. Parents turn up early/late etc.

As for how they're doing - I absolutely had to look at their grade sheet. I can remember the child and what they're "like" but without looking at the grade sheet, unless they're extremely bright or extremely behind then I wouldn't know exactly what their scores were off the top of my head, and yes I'd assume if an assessment wasn't showing up then I'd assume they were away. I don't store exactly how many days off each of 320 students have had!!

A levels and GCSE I absolutely knew where they were at, but a child I see once a fortnight I've no idea. It was lovely to show the work to the parents and discuss the course (especially as our philosophy course was different to the "religious instruction" many of them had received) and feedback. On the other hand trying to fit 90 parents into one night was pretty impossible.

I'll certainly go at secondary and really appreciate it at primary where there's a closer relationship.

ANEW what is the point of parent's evening for you then?
You can't tell me anything about my child because you only know what they scored in an assessment...which you have already told me in a report - so it is all a bit pointless - no?
And the point about the appointment sheet - she called me in - ticked DD's name off the list on the door where it said what subject too - and then when I sat down asked me for DD's name again and subject before referring to her spreadsheets...which she couldn't even do effectively...I didn't expect her to know when DD had attended - but I do expect her to be able to see DDs name on a list...sorry no excuses for that. And no matter how many children you teach you (she) could only see an absolute max of 30 parents that night ...personally I would take out 20-30 mins of my life to whip through my appt list and have some idea of who I was going to talk about - see if I had their test results or not etc the rest of the teachers were in a similar (if not worse - eg maths and English teachers) position and managed -they had lists of grades/marks too...to jog their memory.
Really was a waste of both our time...

I like them. I've had questions prepared beforehand and it's nice to have a chance to chat to their Teacher and see what I make of them. We get 10 minutes and if I ever want to speak to them at any other time I do.

I would never not go. My Teachers were not as approachable as my dc's are. My Mum only heard 'oh MrsIts works well but if she just apply herself a little more then her grades would be so much better'

Like what I was doing was never good enough.

I have always thought parents' evenings are a complete waste of time. I am certain the Yr 9 teachers have absolutely no idea who my son actually is. Those conversations were definitely generic and utterly bollocks. I had to cancel my appointment for the Yr 4 evening this week, for DD, due to work commitments. I am certain I didn't miss anything. If I have any concerns, I raise them with the teacher on the day, or the following day, in the playground. I wouldn't brood over them and wait six months until parents' evening.

There are bound to be elements of "nothing new" at a parents' evening, there should be no surprises because there is, or ought to be, regular communication between school and home.

I can't speak for primary, but I never fail to be pissed off by the number of parents who don't look at their child's books during the year, never see the detailed feedback I give and bounce up to PE's wanting to know the lot. Without fail their child will be underachieving.

But echt I find in juniors that it's very difficult to see their books. Homework is done on separate sheets, and we are not encouraged to come in and loiter about at the end of the day. In infants we could have the odd rifle through their books at drop off.

Amateur that's why I didn't comment on them, though there is nothing stop any parent insisting on seeing the books.

As a teacher, I always find them very interesting as I like seeing how the parent views the child and their own attitudes to learning - it's often a very good insight into who the child is in the classroom and why!!

Not every teacher enjoys it, though, or uses it correctly, which sounds like what you've just experienced!! It's supposed to give the parents idea of their own child's strengths and weaknesses, what they could do to give them a bit of a boost at home, and obviously for the odd few, a chance to discuss behaviour or additional need issues.

I'd count yourself lucky you get reports of wonderful and do the smug parent thing.

Echt fair enough, though it would be "damned if you do, damned if you don't" if you have to risk pissing off the teacher to see the books, but if you don't, the teacher is pissed off for your lack of interest!

Thanks for your perspective though. I was at boarding school so my parents never saw my books at secondary, and it would never have occurred to me as a thing.

. . . and a teacher can learn a lot about a child, just by meeting the parents.

When my son was at a US school, they had a day off school for parent teacher conferences, which were leisurely and interesting.

I have never found out anything at parents' evening in the UK. I have enjoyed a lot of undeserved praise though.

Knapp - no matter how 'pro' education you think you are, you are in very simple terms, to your child, saying that their education is not of interest to you whereas their sibling's education is. I personally think that 45mins per year spent at school is worth while time spent, just so that your dd thinks her education is important to you.