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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be confused about letter from health visitor?

114 replies

Lottie10000 · 09/02/2015 10:27

Hi,
We moved boroughs in September, registered with the doctor and the children's centre ( we have 2 children one 3, one 4 ) straight away.
Both started pre school here in October, all fine.
Called the doctors last week to book in my daughters pre school jabs as we are moving again to a different borough in March so thought it made sense to get them done before we move.
All booked in for next week.
On Friday we got a letter through the post, written to my daughter ( younger ) not myself, saying
Hi, I am your new health visitor and wondered if I could see you at home on Wednesday 25th feb at 10am. If this isn't a good time please call and we can re arrange, take care.
Whilst I think the letter is rather unprofessional, and she is on annual leave as I've called to ask what it's regarding and the receptionist sounded like she was half asleep, I'm confused as to why at 3 1/2 a health visitor would want to visit us at home.
And why just her and not my older daughter of 4 years 7 months?
We have no concerns, pre school have never mentioned any concerns so a little confused!

OP posts:

Moreisnnogedag · 09/02/2015 10:31

It's fairly routine. You can decline. It's just because you've moved to the area and they like to clap eyes on the children in the area. I would guess they'd surmise that the older child will be in school, whereas youngest may not be inn ny formal childcare.

yetanotherchangename · 09/02/2015 10:33

In some areas they just like to visit you when you move in, and the process might take a while. Happened when I moved with my DTs 3.7. Maybe they think your older DC is at school and therefore with the school nurse. Or maybe the protocol is only for under 4s.

Original poster

Lottie10000 · 09/02/2015 10:36

Thanks for your replies.
We've moved boroughs before and never had this so I was a bit taken aback especially as my eldest isn't at school ( September birthday ) until this year so thought they would want to meet both.
Was worried they were concerned about youngest for some reason hence the visit but the visit isn't for nearly 3 weeks so hopefully if they were they wouldn't leave it that long!
Made the error of googling and lots came up about health visitors doing home checks if a concern was raised!

OP posts:

crazylady12 · 09/02/2015 11:33

I say no to any health visitors they annoy me so I just say if I have any problems I Wil contact u there's no need for a 12 month 2 year abd a bloody 3 year check there my bloody children

MrsTawdry · 09/02/2015 11:36

I don't have HVs either OP. I did at first...first month or two but then I declined further visits. I see the GP if I think there's a problem.

Original poster

Lottie10000 · 09/02/2015 12:09

Can you do that??
I also googled that and it came up saying not unless you want social services involvement questioning why you've opted out of health surveillance!
They've already had all the 1/2 year checks they have so no idea what this is for, reading it as " I'm your new health visitor " made me think a welcome visit but still no idea why only 1 child got it!

OP posts:

ANewMein2015 · 09/02/2015 12:13

I think its so you know who they are. Some parents find it a lot easier to later contact a HV in case of need for any advice (be it need for speech therapy/ advice with sleeping/ etc) if they have met a professional first. It's a good thing they are offering - don't worry!!

They will probably let you know what services they offer in the area/ let you know about any toddler groups if you weren't already aware. You probably wont need it but they can also liase with children's centres or help you settle in to a new group.

hoobypickypicky · 09/02/2015 12:14

Of course you can! :)

I did it with my children. If I had a concern I went to my doctor. I'd very much like to think that Social Services have better things to do with their time than question a competent adult on why she doesn't need her child visited by a HV.

MoanCollins · 09/02/2015 12:24

I find it so annoying when people complain about things like this. All you have to say is no. I would much rather a family who didn't need support had to make one phone call to decline than families who did need help slipped through the net because they weren't allowed to have support offered because a few people got uppity about it.

Nicknacky · 09/02/2015 12:28

Just out of interest, did you post this on netmums the other day? It is familiar to a similar post I was reading and the general concenus was it was routine and perfectly normal.

newnamefor15 · 09/02/2015 12:34

You can say no thank you.

But it's very weird to write to the child and not the parent - this has got to be an error, surely?

Szeli · 09/02/2015 12:35

They may have different health visitors? when i moved area I had an appointment arranged before i even moved, arranged by my current hv just to introduce themselves more than anything else

crazylady12 · 09/02/2015 12:38

They did say they would make a referral to social services I said go ahead never heard anything my children are 5 and 14 months

Nicknacky · 09/02/2015 12:39

Some of my mail comes addressed to my children, or "parent or guardian of xxxx"

Bigbadgeorge · 09/02/2015 12:40

Oh I've had the same thing! My health visitor is very persistent though. I don't think they appreciate that it means I have to take time off work and as they don't do late afternoon appointments it means I either take dd out of nursery and then take her back or take half a day off. There have no concerns, we are a happy, healthy family. Seems a waste of everyone's time!

budgiegirl · 09/02/2015 12:43

I dont think its particularly weird for the letter to be addressed to the child. All my childrens dentist appointments letters come addressed to them. We even get an annual postcard from the vet addressed to the dog!

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 09/02/2015 12:46

You may not think there is any concerns because generally people spend a lot of time with their children, however he can pick up what milestones have not be reached yet or pick up on problems.

I hated HV involvement but without them I doubt I would have been the mother I am today.

Bettybodybooboo · 09/02/2015 12:48

Oh ignore it. I never bothered with hvs. Like said before if my child was Unwell we saw the GP.

As a nurse myself I didn't think they were useful to me and it would have wasted their time and mine.

Sure some are great but you don't have to see them or attend any clinic/group/ whatever unless you choose to.

sybilwibble · 09/02/2015 12:50

I stopped seeing the HV with both mine as soon as they hit 1. She told me over and over again how busy she was, how large her case load was, I felt I'd be one less thing for her to worry about. I was quite confident everything was fine with my dcs and their development. Just called the surgery if I had any healthcare concerns.

Just say no thanks.

runnerblade · 09/02/2015 13:01

Another one here who stopped seeing HV. With my last DD, really didn't feel I needed her and would rather she visited families that did. Some HV don't have a problem with this and make it easy to opt out, some don't. Depends on the area I think. I am shocked that SS were threatened crazy when you declined HV. It's not mandatory to see HV and they should not be using this as a threat. I hope you complained.

Immovableobject · 09/02/2015 13:04

I moved counties when my DD was 18 months old, registered everybody with doctors, local hv clinic etc - I then heard nothing until I had a letter addressed to the DD inviting her in for her 27mth check. I phoned them up and pointed out that she was now nearly 4 and in school so...? They apologised and said they were running a bit behind... no shit!

Heels99 · 09/02/2015 13:07

We moved area and had similar letter and health visitor popped round. She was very friendly and quite handy as she had lots of info on stuff for kids locally. I also had a minor child health question that I probably wouldn't have bothered to ask gp about but as she was in my house I asked her and she was able to give me useful info.
It is completely standard and does not mean anyone has concerns about your child.

Heels99 · 09/02/2015 13:08

They. address the letter to the child as they don't always have the parent name. They get child name from gp registrations

KatieKatie1980 · 09/02/2015 13:35

I had exactly the same when I moved and HV wanted to visit. I felt really panicky & uncomfortable and worried that if I declined, they would be suspicious lol! In the end, they fluffed up the dates, turned up on the wrong day, didn't realise I had 2 DC's and DD was asleep. I let her in and she just dumped a load of leaflets on me...looked pretty embarrassed that her office had screwed it all up and left. All routine but I worried about it! Bit invasive imo..I was tempted to say scrap the home visit and I'll visit instead.

ohdearitshappeningtome · 09/02/2015 13:37

Why do you think the letter is unprofessional?

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