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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That awkward moment when...

57 replies

QueenLego · 07/02/2015 19:15

Your friends text asking why you're not at the wedding yet and it dawns on you that you have an evening invite and they are all invited to the day. AIBU to feel hurt?

Would you still go?

OP posts:
ssd · 07/02/2015 19:16

yes, but it would hurt....

CrystalHaze · 07/02/2015 19:17

Not going seems a bit petty.

You were happy enough to be going to the evening do before you found out someone else you know was at the day event. Why is it different now?

WD41 · 07/02/2015 19:17

Yanbu to feel hurt. I'd still go though.

mywholelifeisaheadache · 07/02/2015 19:17

No. I'd be honest and say I hadn't had a day time invite and have made other plans

BigRedBall · 07/02/2015 19:18

That's crap. Yanbu to feel hurt but id still go.

Hassled · 07/02/2015 19:18

You should still go. Texting friends will judge the couple who didn't invite you, rather than you.

NickiFury · 07/02/2015 19:19

No I wouldn't bother. It's not petty, it's just not worth the effort.

Original poster
QueenLego · 07/02/2015 19:19

Suppose I'm just struggling to understand why I'm the only one out of our friendship group not to be invited to the whole day. Just feel awkward walking in now Blush

OP posts:
Gasosaurus · 07/02/2015 19:20

I assume you've said "YES" to the evening invite. And you didn't know other friends were going for the whole thing, so I think you should go and get on with it and find out why you weren't invited for the whole thing.

CrystalHaze · 07/02/2015 19:21

Those saying that they wouldn't go, why is that? If you were happy to go to the evening only in the first place, why does it matter if someone tose is at the daytime stuff?

There could be any number of reasons why other friends were invited to the day do and you weren't.

mywholelifeisaheadache · 07/02/2015 19:23

I wouldn't have accepted an evening invite. I hate segregated weddings.

McSqueezy · 07/02/2015 19:23

No, I wouldn't go. But I can be quite a petty person. I would feel upset and a bit annoyed.

TwitterWooooo · 07/02/2015 19:24

I would be hurt, but ask myself honestly why I had evening only invite. Do they work together, been school/uni together ect, all things being equal, I would probably not bother either, I'd be too "poorly". Some may its childish but I am very insecure and would just feel out of favour.

YoullLikeItNotaLot · 07/02/2015 19:24

We'd accepted an evening invite then declined when we realised (a few weeks before) that we were the only people out if our group of friends not invited to the daytime. We felt a little slighted but also thought it'd feel weird walking in and seeing all of our other friends who'd been there all day. What was particularly annoying was the couple had stayed with us many times and I thought we were pretty close. I know a lot of people would think we were touch and BU but we just decided to save ourselves the not inconsiderable expense and stay home.

Spadequeen · 07/02/2015 19:24

Yanbu to feel hurt but I would still go.

Original poster
QueenLego · 07/02/2015 19:26

I've forced myself to go but really don't want to. Dreading walking in and seeing the pitying faces. I feel like my friends will have been discussing it all day. Bet they wish they hadn't sent the text messages!

OP posts:
AFingerofFudge · 07/02/2015 19:30

I would just front it out with your friends, even if you're feeling hurt and say to them "gosh I wonder why I wasn't invited to the whole day like you were, I feel a bit hurt" and then put it to one side and get on with the drinking and the dancing....

Spadequeen · 07/02/2015 19:30

I would go in with my head held high but to be honest, it would change the friendship for me.

I've had something happen recently to me re a party with a group of what I thought was close friends, except it was re a childrens party.

RainbowFlutterby · 07/02/2015 19:35

Are you sure you weren't invited to the whole day? I've misread an invitation before now Blush

Remember that the bride and groom probably won't notice if you don't go.

BoffinMum · 07/02/2015 19:36

I am not sure what I would do. Text back probably and say I was not invited to the day bit, only the evening. Then get the hump and not go. Not saying that's very gracious, but it's how I would feel.

SantanaLopez · 07/02/2015 19:39

I would go in with my head held high but to be honest, it would change the friendship for me.

This. Good luck OP Flowers

Sallygoroundthemoon · 07/02/2015 19:41

I'd be hurt too but just smile, go and ride it out.

ChippingInGluggingOn · 07/02/2015 19:42

I don't know. It depends on a lot of things.

However, given your friends have sent you several texts to see where you are indicates that they haven't been discussing it as a group (prior to you replying) and that there's not a clear reason why you wouldn't have been invited.

Definitely re check the invitation.

It would change my friendship with the bride though if we were one 'group' of friends and I'd want to know why.

Tulipblank · 07/02/2015 19:44

I went to a wedding once when the couple supposed to be sat next to us on the table didn't turn up. Thought it was a bit rude until they came to the evening do saying they only had an evening invite. Turns out the bride and groom had sent them an evening only invite by accident!

AimlesslyPurposeful · 07/02/2015 19:46

No, I don't think I would go. I'd feel hurt if I was the only one in our friendship group not to have been invited to the whole day. I wouldn't enjoy myself and having to say hello and congrats to the Bride and Groom would feel awkward having just found out they think less of me than the rest of the group.

When you're in a friendship group then generally, when it comes to big occasions such as weddings or birthday, the whole group is treated equally. To invite everyone in the OPs group, bar the OP, is sending a message.

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