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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

False eyelashes during the day - is this a 'thing' now

88 replies

Yorkville · 07/02/2015 11:40

For the second weekend in a row I've been to what I've thought were casual family catch ups at home during the day and the women my age were wearing false eyelashes (early 30s), AIBU to think this is bizarre? And can someone please tell me what is the point anyway, I have to say they were caked in mascara and looked like they were putting a lot of strain on the eyelids! It makes me ranty as the mother of dds that they are constantly exposed to women who feel the need to 'enhance' their face.

OP posts:

LonelyLassie · 07/02/2015 12:48

This is a stupid question, but is the eyelash glue safe? How tricky is it to not get it in your eye?

I have awful eyelashes and sometimes want to try with false ones but am scared I will end up needing a trip to A and E to get glue washed out of my eye.

MightyMightyToros · 07/02/2015 12:48

False eyelashes in themselves may not be a problem but it's when you add them to the make up, the nails, the hair, the fake tan, the removal of body hair, the uncomfortable shoes...all things men don't have to worry about

Choice? Pah. Great fucking choice isn't it choosing to spend our time and money on all this stuff. Men don't.

But it is a choice.

Some of my friends will wear barely any makeup and go out in flats for a night out. Some will spend hours on their makeup and wear killer heels.

Each look great. Each had that choice.

I think it's a little narrow minded to think that men don't have to do anything. I think some would feel very self-conscious about back and chest hair.

Some men get spray tans and some wear makeup. MAC have their own range for men, they wouldn't do that if there was no demand in the market.

squizita · 07/02/2015 12:49

BTW my dad had a slightly mansplainy grasp of feminism and banned me from using ANY cosmetics or hair products once I started gcses as this - he hoped - would have the same result as what you desire for your dd's.
It didn't. I resented his illogical attitude that some women (celebs) "could" be pretty and it was ok to hate them and be snobby about them. Some women (clever, good ones) had to wear unisex type clothes and be asexual.
It struck me as very similar to the attitude of the Victorians and earlier- not feminist or forward looking.

InfelicityYearsTooLong · 07/02/2015 12:50

I have a friend who has lost most of her hair through illness. So when someone asks her why she wears eyelashes her answer would probably be 'because it makes me prettier '

Not illness but I've lost mine and that is exactly the reason. Didn't realise it makes me an inappropriate role model.

As for nail varnish , it's been a while since we've had a " my son loves his Disney Princess dress " thread. Usually boys who want to use nail varnish are lauded on here.

Sallystyle · 07/02/2015 12:50

Great fucking choice isn't it choosing to spend our time and money on all this stuff. Men don't.

Many men moisturise and take care of their skin, spend time on their hair, work out so they have a nice body type, spend time finding clothes that suit them and so on.

Maybe not to the extent that most woman do but they certainly do spend time making the best of what they have.

And for me it is a great choice. I like spending money on products.

dontaskforthe99 · 07/02/2015 12:50

Thanks MrsBungle. I'll take a look after I've finished apologising to my daughter for leading her astray. Not sure fake eyelashes, fashionable in the sixties, now popular again, will change society much. Now if it was tattoos....(runs away before it all kicks off)

InfelicityYearsTooLong · 07/02/2015 12:52

Some men do dye/ extend eyelashes. The new slimmed down, made over Ricky Wilson looks as if he has. Why not?

squizita · 07/02/2015 12:53

I don't dress to be "pretty" btw.
I dress, dye my hair and wear make up to express my joy in a certain subculture (vintage/rock) and to look fierce (in the fashion sense not like a dinosaur! Whole other thread! ), put - together and striking ...but not pretty.
I don't really do pretty.

Sparklingbrook · 07/02/2015 12:53

Perhaps it looks better for the TV Infelicity?

Sparklingbrook · 07/02/2015 12:54

What happens to false eyelashes of you get caught in a downpour? Do they drop off?

GlitzAndGigglesx · 07/02/2015 12:55

I used to work in the beauty industry where there were male make up artists who were caked in the stuff. Right from foundation to mascara. So yes men do have that choice. Look up Nickel Spa for men...

squizita · 07/02/2015 12:57

...and fwiw I feel very natural make up to make you look young/tanned-but-white etc is more "you're not good enough: too grey/pale/wrinkled..." than out there ott make up that shrieks "I FUCKING LOVE BLUE SO I'VE GOT BLUE HAIR AND NAILS. YAY BLUE!".

MightyMightyToros · 07/02/2015 12:57

What happens to false eyelashes of you get caught in a downpour? Do they drop off?

I've only worn semi-permanent ones and would shower daily in them and they stayed there.

Sparklingbrook · 07/02/2015 12:58

That's impressive Mighty, what is the glue made of?

GlitzAndGigglesx · 07/02/2015 13:00

Sparkling they've ended up on my cheek but tbf I was stood in the pissing rain waiting for a bus drunk so couldn't really shelter them

InfelicityYearsTooLong · 07/02/2015 13:00

Perhaps it looks better for the TV Infelicity?

Of course it will and off TV. My eyes look better with false lashes as without I have almost none.

No doubt some one will point out that "looking better" is a false , patriarchal concept and it's the inner me which matters (expect I'm too thick to realise that)

Original poster

Yorkville · 07/02/2015 13:01

Mightymighty I don't think there's any need to question my dds self worth, they asked to wear nail polish as they were bought it for Christmas by the same relatives. Naturally they wanted to use it and believe it or not(!) I let them, I just didn't like the message they were given that it was superior to their own nail colour...

OP posts:

DurhamDurham · 07/02/2015 13:04

My girls are 21 and 17, I have worn makeup almost on a daily basis since they can remember. They have both grown up and chose to wear makeup , the oldest probably wouldn't consider leaving the house without her mascara on but it doesn't matter. They have done just fine, they have a great sense of self worth, they don't criticise other people, I've never heard them criticising their friends who choose to wear or not wear makeup.
The oldest has a good job and is about to go to America for the summer, the youngest is due to start a nursing degree in September. All this while wearing markup on a daily basis.

noddyholder · 07/02/2015 13:04

Lots of people wear them all the time very few people on TV now don't have the semi permanents. I wouldn't think it would be too much but it depends what, your own lashes are like as long dark lashes do open the face up. I like a couple of individual,ones at night I had the semi permanents and never wore make up til they fell off but haven't had again as too bambi. Don't think its an esteem issue its fashion

EternalBeauPlate · 07/02/2015 13:07

But I don't really care what anyone else does. Except the time my friend lost all her false toenails in the soft play ball pit.

I expect all the parents that found them stuck to their kids cared as well.

squizita · 07/02/2015 13:18

Infelicity yes the "inside" stuff is sexist to me too ... a man can be "fit", clever and kind.
The stereotype of a clever/kind woman is she cares not for beauty.
The stereotype of a glam woman is stupid/cruel.

Sadly it's a stereotype some people dress up as feminism and pass on...

Being an object only valued for looks is bad.
Being an image created for men to ogle is bad.
But abstaining from all self adornment (and often linked, behaving asexually) to be "good" is exchanging one externally decided male set of rules for another.
Why do nuns wear habits, why do some countries make women cover up? To show they are "good" morally.
To borrow this attitude from the patriarchy and rebrand it feminist seems simplistic and reductive to me.

MightyMightyToros · 07/02/2015 13:24

Mightymighty I don't think there's any need to question my dds self worth, they asked to wear nail polish as they were bought it for Christmas by the same relatives.

I'm not. I don't know them.

You seem to be saying that because a woman(or women) wore false eyelashes and nail polish that they will think thats the only way they can be considered beautiful.

How do these relatives how so much power and influence?

I think you should be teaching them more about freedom of choice and how not to judge others on their appearance like you so harshly do.

CalleighDoodle · 07/02/2015 13:29

I am also
Upset with women who wear false eyelashes as every time i try to put them on they end up on my nose.

Now, big thick false eyebrows on the other-hand confuse the hell out of me.

squizita · 07/02/2015 13:30

Just to add the hospitalglam thread is interesting on the topic of performing.
Society pressurised those it feels sorry for to perform their weakness.
As such obvious glam can be a weapon against prejudice.

A PP mentioned coloured nail polish as being seen as prettier as problematic.
I have more concerns about french manicures: a hyper real better version of nails. If someone had low self esteem (either gender) that kind of thing would be more likely to be chosen: to make the wearer look perfect but non threateningly average and blend in. Someone with glittery pink acrylics might be hiding their nails ... but is more likely to be using them as adornment and performing their style in a more self confident autonomous way.

Original poster

Yorkville · 07/02/2015 13:30

False eyelashes aside Squizita as this thread has moved on, I agree that we shouldn't 'abstain from self- adornment', I'd prefer that my dds dress as they want and make themselves up as they want because it makes them feel good, and not to be told because it makes them 'pretty/beautiful'. I want them to have fun without being told there is an 'ideal' way to look.

OP posts:

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