To attempt taking DS on holiday without trying to contact absent father

[GreenGrassStains]

DS is 8, has my surname, and hasn't had contact with his father since 3 and a half years old, when supervised contact was stopped due to DS receiving injuries, after continuous emotional abuse (shouting and swearing at, name calling, embarrassing him).
Police and social services did reports of the injuries and said there was to be no contact unless court ordered as a safeguarding issue.

He is on the birth certificate so has PR, though I do not have any contact details, don't know where he lives, or have any form of contact for anyone who knows him.

Also, even if I did, I would be terrified of contacting him incase it caused him to reappear and begin threatening me again.

If I take DS on holiday, we have the same surname so are we likely to be questioned? And if they do ask if his dad is aware and we tell them that we do not know who his dad is will that be the end of it or will they have a way of finding out he technically has PR?

Never been asked with my DD. They do not have my surname. I carry my marriage certificate showing my previous surname. Just in case.

From these answers it seems that there are issues with the USA, Canada and Mexico, so if you want to travel to those countries it would probably be wise to get some supporting documentation. I doubt you'd have a problem if you are planning on travelling within Europe.

i have been asked, but only because weve got different surnames.
One passport control suggested I get a note from his father in future :|
I told her that I wasnt going to get a note from anyone to take my own son on holiday, and surely they could see on the passport database that it was my son. She let me through anyway

Squinquies and Popular, do you have the same surname as your kids?

Where are you planning on going, OP?

Technicallly they should ask, in practise I have never been asked including going to the US. We do have the same surname though

Returning to the UK with 3 DC (none have my surname) recently. They asked if we were a family - yes. Am I the mother -yes. Is the father aware of the trip - no. Is the father in contact with DCs - no. Where is the father - I dont know, no contact. Passport control probably has a better idea of what country he's in, he likes to travel.

I then was asked to roll down the window to show DC. Passport guy asks to them, Who's driving - mummy. Does she look after you all the time - yes. Do you have anyone else in your family - No.

Blu, both dh and I have been stopped when travelling alone with the dc. I have a different surname and he has the same. Sil has also been stopped when travelling with her ds. They have the same surname. Border control are not just checking to see if you are the parent. They are checking to see if the other parent knows and agrees with the travel plans.
I think the op should go on her trip with her ds. She should take any evidence (birth certificate, relevent court documents, perhaps a letter from the school) in the event that she is questioned. I doubt anyone will stop her travelling. But to tell her that she will be fine and no one will ask and that she is just a mum with her dc and it will be fine- i am sorry but that is poor advice. but as her ds is 8 i am sure he can back up his mum's verson if events for her!

I agree with popular, there is increased scrutiny as passport/border controls with general heightened security so I would take any supporting documents that you have. I have never been questioned (kids have my surname) but my exW has been stopped on several occasions as her passport is in her maiden name. She has been advised to carry supporting documents. Technically she needs my permission to take the children overseas but has never asked (and if for a holiday I would never refuse).

You don't need his permission for less than 30 days.

If you're questioned, which you won't be, this is all you need to say.

I take the kids to visit my Mum in Spain 3 times a year. Not once have I ever been asked about where their father is (at home - doesn't like staying at my Mum's house). We do have same surname though so I can see it might be an issue if you had different names but as you have you should be fine.

If there is a Residence or Child Arrangement order in place then the 28 day rule applies. If there is not, as in my case, you just need to be more careful.

I have been asked when returning to the UK from France by ferry. I have a different surname to my DDs. The customs officer tried to engage both DDs in chat, but had no luck as DD1 is very shy and DD2 is severely disabled and has no speech, and he did seem a little suspicious, but still let us through. Taking my marriage cert with my old name on tying up to the dd's name seems a good idea for next time. We do have a court order re contact arrangements but it's pretty old.

I've travelled dozens of times with my kids, and with other peoples kids and I've enevr once been asked.

I'm not saying that means they don't ask - just luck / chance I expect.

It is rather angst-making though isn't it?

I've travelled alone numerous times with my DD's before DH and I married, they had his surname, and have never been challenged. I did take birth certs just in case though.

YANBU he has no contact rights due to physically and emotionally abusing ds, so take him where ever you want. Fine imho.

Babybarrister - are you sure?

"(4)A person does not commit an offence under this section by taking or sending a child out of the United Kingdom without obtaining the appropriate consent if—

(a)he is a person in whose favour there is a residence order in force with respect to the child, and

(b)he takes or sends him out of the United Kingdom for a period of less than one month."

No baby barrister it's not illegal.

But she's not going for more than a month.

I also do not have an order (I am very amicable with ex and we have sorted it ourselves) - are you saying I cannot legally take my kids on holiday without a written agreement from my ex?

So even though I have co-parented my kids with their dad very happily and amicably for 7 years (and we have both taken them abroad several times in that time), you are saying I have to go to court to get an order so that I can legally take them on holiday? Madness!

Or maybe, given your screen name you have a vested interest babybarrister?