To be 'disappointed' with DD2s attitude about achieving 7 or 8 A* at GCSE.

[smokepole]

DD2 yr11 has been told by numerous teachers including her form tutor, that she is capable of getting between 7-9 A in her GCSEs. DDs attitude is I only need 3 A 'its to difficult to get 7 or 8' 'I want a life'. DD told this to me as well as her form teacher, who told her that she is capable of going to any University she likes!. Her response was I am not going to just sit in for the next 2 and half years studying and not having a life.

She has quite randomly decided she wants to do English @ 'Lancaster University' all the way from Folkestone !

I am a caught between being disappointed and being very proud , because this is a girl who her 'Grammar' school who would rather that she left in year 7 due to difficulties with Dyspraxia.

I guess this is a thread for other Mums to show disappointment, pride or a bit of both ....

They all get 10A*'s now, what's the big deal?

I needed 2 C's at A level to get into my choice course at the Uni I wanted to go to. I didn't even try for one of my A levels after I had decided what I was doing as I didn't need it. I got 2 B's and a D. My mum asked me what went wrong with my D subject. She wasn't impressed when I said as I didn't need it I spent my time concentrating on my other subjects, but she (and my dad) were always a bit too pushy with me.

There is more to life then high grades. As long as she does enough work to get where she wants to be then there is no problem. Even if she doesn't do as well as she would like then there are still choices and its not the end of the world. Though it sounds as though she will get the GCSE's she needs to continue on with her education path she has chosen for herself.

Lancaster isn't a random choice for English. It's pretty good! They are running a big creative writing competition for school children at thr moment. Is that related?

Don't read too much into Lancaster - when I was doing my UCCA (yes I am that old!) applications I decided to apply to Aberdeen because I was pissed with my parents and it was about as far away as I could get from Cornwall!

I calmed down and went to (relatively close) Oxford in the end!!

Thinking back to your numerous other threads where you constantly fixate on how badly you did at school, the statistical performances of schools and your Dsis's failure to pay for a private education for your children, I'd say your DD is teaching you a lesson.

I suggest you learn it now before she purposely fucks up to teach you an even bigger lesson.

Reminds me of the "anything more than a 2:1 is a waste (of your time spent at uni)"

Am sympathetic to both your points of view. As a student I held the former, now as a mother I would prefer them to always do their best!

She needs to visit some unis (including Lancaster) - my DCs decided quite quickly after visits where they wanted to study. You get a feel for a place.

Check out when the open days are.

By her choice of University and attitude towards the A* grades goes, I would imagine that your DD is looking to assert her independence. I did a similar thing when I was young (and, ahem, went to Lancaster to study English Lit, also from Kent!) - I just wanted to do something different from what everybody 'expected' of me.

Wipe away all your expectations and just be with her. You only have two more years where that will be possible. Let her tell you about her hopes, her dreams, what she thinks life will be like when she goes to University, even take her to Lancaster for a little visit or Open Day. She needs to realise that you will support her no matter what, and I agree that she might be feeling pressure - but perhaps not consciously, and is just doing what she can to alleviate the stress.

Relax... just be her mum. You'll both be fine.

Op, take a deep breath and repeat after me 'nobody cares how many A* GSCEs you get because it really doesn't matter in the long run'.

I've known several of my DCs friends who passed everything with A or A* grades but they really struggled out in the real world because social skills and work experience were lacking. Other friends 'only' managed B or C grades but are far more successful in their careers (including my DCs!).

Let your DD have a life away from her studies.

I was wondering if this is what she's actually thinking, or if she's trying to forestall being pressured on it, and having you or her teacher be disappointed in her if she doesn't get 7 or 8.

Or could it be that her identity is too bound up in being smart? There's something that often goes on with smart people, where they don't want to go all-out toward achieving a goal that they might not be able to achieve. You see, if you don't put in as much effort as you could have, and you don't do well, you can tell yourself that you could have done better if you had really wanted to. But if you really go truly all-out, and fail, then you might have to think about the possibility that you're really not all that smart. That's devastating to some people.

Terry Eagleton is a Professor in the English dept at Lancaster - it does have a very good (if slightly under the radar) department.

Just to correct one misapprehension above, GCSEs are really important for getting into uni, not just A levels. We make offers based on overall past performance since a levels aren't usually in hand. You often need more than just to have the right productions.

However otherwise I agree that she's probably rebelling. No reason you can't ask what kind of life she wants and enable that around studying. Suspect it's ganging out with mates and going shopping if she's like me at her age... ;)

Just a point folkstone is the furthest uk uni from folkstone, i wonder how much that has to do with the choice?

we all want them to achieve their best

It is sometimes good for us to consider why.

Avoid Lancaster, or any out of town campus university like the plague. If she wants a life, a uni in town is the way to go.

Should say I'm not saying Lancaster is no good academically.

I know 3 people who went to Lancaster (at different times - they don't know each other) and all had a good time and liked the campus life. It's down to individual preference I'd have thought.

what is she planning to do in Sept ? why is she looking at Uni's now?

DS1 is predicted to get a couple of U's, a couple of E's and some F's. He is really hoping he can pull a miracle out of the bag and qualify to do a level 2 diploma at college. He has SEN and it's such a worry. Who'd have thought that kids GCSE's could turn parents grey before their time!

Your DD sounds quite sensible. Mine should easily get Bs. She could get As or A*s if she puts in the work. I have pointed this out but want to give her the space to work out what work / other stuff balance she wants as ultimately it is her decision.

I think nearly any reasonably intelligent person could get all a* (or nearly all) with hard work .But there is the rub!!
There seems to be quite a change around between the ones who did well at GCSE and the ones who do well at a level.

I was about to ask what sort of 'life' she thinks she needs anyway at 15/16? Plenty of time to study AND do other things at that age too. I had quite a hectic life with work, hobbies etc but I still managed to get straight As and never felt like I missed out on anything.

Im not sure why people are so surprised that a Yr11 pupil is looking at degree courses. If you think you know what you might want to do at University, then it's a very good idea to look at courses now, so you make the right choices of A-level that you are likely to need to be able to apply.

Ghosty. A levels in September : Planning to take English Lit ,History, Chemistry and Politics Will probably drop Chemistry or Politics for year 13. The school says they will take AS Levels in year 12 as previous years.

'I am confused by this' because obviously the AS results will mean bugger all and not count for the newly created A levels ?.

DD1 also knew she wanted to do Forensic Science @ Leicester by year 11 so its good to have an idea of what and where by 16 !..