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AIBU?

To think this is really uncalled for

61 replies

GraysAnalogy · 04/02/2015 11:24

I recently ran a training session with some colleagues, people invited to attend included professionals of the field, students, and clients. At the end of each session we give out feedback sheets, people fill them in and we read them to see how we can improve. We get a lot of positive feedback, some minor niggles but that's all in the name of the game.

However I've read through the last ones and one comment has really got my back up: 'I'm not sure why the woman speaker had makeup and heels on'. The person who wrote this was a woman too (feedback is anon but there's check boxes for gender, age etc for funding purposes)

I just don't see how this is relevant. I wore small heels (think office) and light makeup because I don't like it much anyway. It's sort of upset me really because instead of feeding back about the learning opportunity, they decided to pick on my appearance.

AIBU here, or is it something you yourself see as an issue?

OP posts:

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SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 04/02/2015 11:58

on the bright side!

BathtimeFunkster · 04/02/2015 12:03

I think moaning about the quality of biscuits is fair enough. They are a crucial part of any training day.

squoosh · 04/02/2015 12:06

Biscuit feedback is crucial. Nothing more upsetting than expecting a nice chocolate biscuit and being offered a plain Rich Tea.

Kachan · 04/02/2015 12:09

What a seemingly pointless observation. Still not clear what the training was - if it was orthotics perhaps that might at least indicate the root of her thinking but all the same it still isn't really justified. The comment on make up utterly irrelevant.

GraysAnalogy · 04/02/2015 12:13

peter we all dress professionally, and so does everyone in attendance usually. Men in shirts and ties, I'm the only woman so can't compare what other women wear though.

I thought that maybe its like a real life version of trolling... She rated us well on everything else however

We did get commended on our selection of sandwiches which is always good.

OP posts:

GraysAnalogy · 04/02/2015 12:14

To exand on the ortho thing, it was about revised hip replacements

OP posts:

thehumanjam · 04/02/2015 12:15

Can you not go back to her and ask her why it impacted on the training?

I received negative feedback once with no constructive advice on how to improve so I went back to the delegate and asked for more info.

TheFecklessFairy · 04/02/2015 12:16

Perhaps she was all for the equality women seek - if men don't wear heels and make up........then why would a woman? (and vice versa,to make things equal )

MaidOfStars · 04/02/2015 12:18

There's a woman in my department (consultant in obs and gynae) who wears cocktail dresses/similar when she give a seminar. Cleavage, legs, full face, etc. Once, she wore a strapless dress I wonder if she's ever received feedback on it...

You were dressed appropriately. Don't give it another thought.

MustBeDueSomeBetterFeet · 04/02/2015 12:19

I would read it as her own insecurities about appearance and workwear, rather than anything to do with you!

Stormingateacup · 04/02/2015 12:21

Does wearing heels have any impact on hips?

Wouldn't explain the make up bit though.

bloodygorgeous · 04/02/2015 12:23

Oh some people are just grumbly twits, OP, don't pay it any mind.

mammuzzamia · 04/02/2015 12:28

A bit weird thing to mention, the make up and heels. Hardly relevant unless you were caked in the stuff (you said not) and it was a distraction.

GraysAnalogy · 04/02/2015 12:29

I wish had some means of contacting her, the forms are anon.

OP posts:

GraysAnalogy · 04/02/2015 12:34

Heels can cause damage to ankles, hips, back, toes. but we're talking like an inch heel and I don't think it was meant it that manner, because of the makeup being mentioned.

You've all cheered me up about it anyway I'm just going to have to accept that some people sometimes have nothing nice to say.

LOLing at the woman complaining about not being home in time to cook tea

OP posts:

bettyboop1970 · 04/02/2015 12:36

Green eyed monster perhaps?

ourglass · 04/02/2015 12:40

I bet you're beautiful and she was jealous.

flora717 · 04/02/2015 12:46

Seriously odd thing to say. I don't like makeup but I also never find myself thinking someone in makeup in a work setting is unusal/ remarkable? Remarking on clothing/ dress/ hair choices only has a place if they are impractical for the task in hand. Even then, it's perhaps for a colleague to suggest to ask !
It's as sexist (to consider it somehow ok) as my previous (female as it happened) manager who once said 'she's so bright and such a great speaker, if she just made more effort with makeup, maybe a bit of lipstick, she'd be amazing'. (About a bright new member of the wider team). Fortunately I wasn't alone in telling her how ridiculous that was!

GnomeDePlume · 04/02/2015 12:48

People write all sorts of crap on feedback sheets. I have seen comments about not liking the biscuits provided, plus that the event didn't give someone time to get home and make their husband's dinner hmm (it was shorter than the normal working day too). Ignore it

this x100!

You do sometimes wonder what people's priorities are!

This is why these feedback sheets are so often called 'happy sheets'. IME they tell you remarkably little about how good or bad the presentation.

GraysAnalogy · 04/02/2015 12:50

I wish I was beautiful. I'm okay but nothing to write home about, short and overweight too She might have been worried about my knees perhaps

I agree flora. I just don't think it was relevant. A lot of planning went into these training days and if my appearance would have had any impact on anything I would have realised!

OP posts:

Waitingonasunnyday · 04/02/2015 12:51

I filter out feedback sheets that contain utter shite like this. I only want proper feedback not moronic drivel.

BitOutOfPractice · 04/02/2015 12:56

OP was this you?

To think this is really uncalled for

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GraysAnalogy · 04/02/2015 12:58

It was a bit more like this really

To think this is really uncalled for

OP posts:

Stinkle · 04/02/2015 12:59

Some people put all sorts of weird stuff on feedback forms.

I help out with some training, I've been doing something for quite a few years, so when there are training courses for new/prospective people, I get asked along to talk about my personal experiences, give examples and anecdotes about how we've coped with various issues and stuff like that

One person thought I used too many examples of my personal experiences, another complained about the sun coming through the window into their eyes, we've had a complaint about the way the tables had been set up and drew us a diagram on how they felt they should have been set up (we have one big table and we all sit together as a group, they felt the tables should be set up as single desks like at school)

GraysAnalogy · 04/02/2015 13:01

I wish there was a twitter that posted the ridiculous answers, it'd be hilarious.

I like the diagram one! Least they tried to make it constructive I suppose

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