To think this is really uncalled for

[GraysAnalogy]

I recently ran a training session with some colleagues, people invited to attend included professionals of the field, students, and clients. At the end of each session we give out feedback sheets, people fill them in and we read them to see how we can improve. We get a lot of positive feedback, some minor niggles but that's all in the name of the game.

However I've read through the last ones and one comment has really got my back up: 'I'm not sure why the woman speaker had makeup and heels on'. The person who wrote this was a woman too (feedback is anon but there's check boxes for gender, age etc for funding purposes)

I just don't see how this is relevant. I wore small heels (think office) and light makeup because I don't like it much anyway. It's sort of upset me really because instead of feeding back about the learning opportunity, they decided to pick on my appearance.

AIBU here, or is it something you yourself see as an issue?

[Chippednailvarnish]

Wonder if she would comment about a man's lack of make up and type of shoes.

People are unfortunately inherently stupid.

[borisgudanov]

Depends on the course.

DIY - maybe fair point.
IT of some kind - irrelevant.
Equality and dignity at work type stuff - use your magic to bring down a plague of boils and warts upon her, and make sure you order the kind that itch like fuck.

[GnomeDePlume]

It's not about you

This was an excellent piece of advice given to me by a fellow trainer with far more experience than I had after a particularly difficult session.

[thobblywighs]

I once read over someone's shoulder, "Too cold. More thought needs to be put into the venue." It was an outdoor learning course!

[laughingmyarseoff]

Lol, we once had feedback with 'nice biscuits, cafe latte (sp?) would be preferable to filer in future'.

YANBU OP some people are just odd.

[GraysAnalogy]

I'm so glad I don't need to do these often growing it's not my cup of tea at all! But got roped in with other colleagues because the NHS is obsessed with these sorts of things.

I'll be happy when I don't have to read another feedback sheet

That's really interesting sorca. I don't understand people, unless someone's appearance was seriously impacting my learning experience I wouldn't even think of mentioning it.

How dare she take umbridge with my bare minerals and tesco shoes....

[BathtimeFunkster]

Eurgh. She sounds like one of the tedious bores from FWR

Not really. Feminists are very unlikely to single the only woman out for a comment on her appearance.

That's more the type of behaviour you expect from desperate man pleasers who like to get digs in at other women to make themselves feel more pleasing to men.

[growinggoldwithcustard]

OP I was a personal development trainer for over 30 years. I was told very early on in my career that the sort of feedback you received says much more about the person giving it than about you. Training is a strange profession in that you are "assessed" at the end of every event. No-one comes up to other workers at the end of the day and hands them a completed feedback form on the work they have done that day! I stand to be corrected on this

Take the constructive feedback and try to forget the rest.

[SaucyJack]

Eurgh. She sounds like one of the tedious bores from FWR who bang on about fanny hair all the time.

[SorchaN]

I'm sure I remember reading an article not long ago about university students and feedback - they'll comment on the physical appearance of female teachers but not male teachers.

In my view anonymous feedback is not really something to be taken too seriously - it gives people an opportunity to write whatever's on their mind without being held to account for their views, and trollers will troll (and feel satisfied with themselves, and keep the rest of their unwarranted criticisms to themselves). If we want serious feedback, it needs to have names on it!

[LoisWilkersonsLastNerve]

Oh dear I wear heels and makeup at work, another thing for I'm doing wrong in life! How kind of the woman to point that out to you op! Hope you binned it.

[GraysAnalogy]

I wish there was a twitter that posted the ridiculous answers, it'd be hilarious.

I like the diagram one! Least they tried to make it constructive I suppose

[Stinkle]

Some people put all sorts of weird stuff on feedback forms.

I help out with some training, I've been doing something for quite a few years, so when there are training courses for new/prospective people, I get asked along to talk about my personal experiences, give examples and anecdotes about how we've coped with various issues and stuff like that

One person thought I used too many examples of my personal experiences, another complained about the sun coming through the window into their eyes, we've had a complaint about the way the tables had been set up and drew us a diagram on how they felt they should have been set up (we have one big table and we all sit together as a group, they felt the tables should be set up as single desks like at school)

[GraysAnalogy]

It was a bit more like this really

[BitOutOfPractice]

OP was this you?

[Waitingonasunnyday]

I filter out feedback sheets that contain utter shite like this. I only want proper feedback not moronic drivel.

[GraysAnalogy]

I wish I was beautiful. I'm okay but nothing to write home about, short and overweight too She might have been worried about my knees perhaps

I agree flora. I just don't think it was relevant. A lot of planning went into these training days and if my appearance would have had any impact on anything I would have realised!

[GnomeDePlume]

People write all sorts of crap on feedback sheets. I have seen comments about not liking the biscuits provided, plus that the event didn't give someone time to get home and make their husband's dinner hmm (it was shorter than the normal working day too). Ignore it

this x100!

You do sometimes wonder what people's priorities are!

This is why these feedback sheets are so often called 'happy sheets'. IME they tell you remarkably little about how good or bad the presentation.

[flora717]

Seriously odd thing to say. I don't like makeup but I also never find myself thinking someone in makeup in a work setting is unusal/ remarkable? Remarking on clothing/ dress/ hair choices only has a place if they are impractical for the task in hand. Even then, it's perhaps for a colleague to suggest to ask !
It's as sexist (to consider it somehow ok) as my previous (female as it happened) manager who once said 'she's so bright and such a great speaker, if she just made more effort with makeup, maybe a bit of lipstick, she'd be amazing'. (About a bright new member of the wider team). Fortunately I wasn't alone in telling her how ridiculous that was!

[ourglass]

I bet you're beautiful and she was jealous.

[bettyboop1970]

Green eyed monster perhaps?

[GraysAnalogy]

Heels can cause damage to ankles, hips, back, toes. but we're talking like an inch heel and I don't think it was meant it that manner, because of the makeup being mentioned.

You've all cheered me up about it anyway I'm just going to have to accept that some people sometimes have nothing nice to say.

LOLing at the woman complaining about not being home in time to cook tea

[GraysAnalogy]

I wish had some means of contacting her, the forms are anon.

[mammuzzamia]

A bit weird thing to mention, the make up and heels. Hardly relevant unless you were caked in the stuff (you said not) and it was a distraction.

[bloodygorgeous]

Oh some people are just grumbly twits, OP, don't pay it any mind.