Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to stay at the same hotel as family on our wedding night?

59 replies

Sugarfreeriot · 03/02/2015 14:35

Mil asked us where we were staying on the weekend of our wedding, me and dp are staying together the night before as aren't doing things the traditional way. Planned to get ready together and stroll down the he registry office and meet family there.
I assumed that she asked because she didn't want to book the same place, it was the opposite she wants to stay with us at the same hotel so she and her dh can get ready with us and have breakfast etc together.
She knew our plans, we told her but she's booked the same hotel thus going against our plans entirely.
Hotel is non refundable.
Not much I can do now but aibu to be a bit miffed.

OP posts:
Nolim · 03/02/2015 14:40

As long as they are not staying in the same room as you an your stbh yabu.
What are your concerns?

PercyGherkin · 03/02/2015 14:41

You don't want to have breakfast with her? Room service.

Original poster
Sugarfreeriot · 03/02/2015 14:42

That they have no limits and will be in our room whilst we are trying to get ready and won't leave. That I'll end up having breakfast with my in laws the morning after our wedding.
We have a 2 year old dd and told everyone we wanted a small ceremony and to get ready together and spend some quality time alone after the wedding.

OP posts:
OllyBJolly · 03/02/2015 14:43

YANBU!

But if it's booked guess it's a grin and bear it situation...

Congratulations on your wedding.

indecisiveithink · 03/02/2015 14:43

So you don't answer the door to them.

Justmuddlingalong · 03/02/2015 14:44

There will be other guests staying at the hotel too. Just treat M and FIL the same as any other guest. Don't freak about it or let it spoil things.

Original poster
Sugarfreeriot · 03/02/2015 14:45

It's more that she's going to be there for pretty much every minute. If she just booked the hotel because she wouldn't like it fair enough but booking it because she wants to get ready with us etc is just a bit much on our wedding day

OP posts:
PercyGherkin · 03/02/2015 14:45

"Right, time for us to get ready. We'll see you at the registry office."

(If you can bear sounding a bit precious, then "I want everyone to gasp when I walk into the register office, so I don't want to see you beforehand" should also work.)

BIWI · 03/02/2015 14:45

Stay in your room and lock the door. Have room service. Tell reception that no-one is to be allowed to know what room you're in.

Sorted!

They can only have no limits if you let them.

Justmuddlingalong · 03/02/2015 14:46

Can you afford to change hotels?

Original poster
Sugarfreeriot · 03/02/2015 14:46

There's not other guests staying there. That would actually make it less irritating but it's not the case

OP posts:
BIWI · 03/02/2015 14:46

I'd also be getting your DP to have a word with her about how inappropriate it is, and how it's going against your plans.

Original poster
Sugarfreeriot · 03/02/2015 14:46

We could do but they are so expensive and it was expensive too. And our favourite.

OP posts:
TTTatty · 03/02/2015 14:47

It is your only wedding day I hope so I would go all out to have it the way you want it - I would get in now and say you will not be all getting ready together as you want that time alone, and then don't answer the door!

Justmuddlingalong · 03/02/2015 14:47

I don't mean other wedding guests, just other random people staying at the hotel.

Nolim · 03/02/2015 14:48

I am sorry but i am not sure i understand. When you say that you want to get ready together you mean dp and you or everyone? (Your post can be read both ways) regarding breakfast, as percy says get room service.

canyou · 03/02/2015 14:50

tell the hotel that you do not want your room number given to anyone esp not mrs xxxx. ask them to make a notein your booking,
Thanks Have a lovely day

Original poster
Sugarfreeriot · 03/02/2015 14:51

Other wedding guests won't be in our room at 6am trying to get ready with us.
Me and dp just wanted some time to ourselves to get ready together as we rarely get time alone as have dd of 2. And mil has booked the same hotel so "dp can get ready with his father and have time with him before the wedding".
We told them of our plans but they I think want us to do it traditionally.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 03/02/2015 14:51

What does your DHTB think, could he have a word with her?

Original poster
Sugarfreeriot · 03/02/2015 14:52

He isn't happy at all but it's a bit late now she's booked and payed

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 03/02/2015 14:52

Do all the other guests have rooms booked elsewhere? If so, would one of them be prepared to swap?

Alternatively, if there are guest who have not yet booked a room, get them to book somewhere else you like and swap with them.

Original poster
Sugarfreeriot · 03/02/2015 14:53

They do, I guess that's an option. Don't know any other guests who would be booking the equivalent room elsewhere though. We've got the honeymoon suite.
I'll probably just have to get on with it, I just find it an odd thing to do.

OP posts:
BIWI · 03/02/2015 14:54

Stop being a doormat! There's nothing to stop you doing what you want. Who says they get to come into your room? If you don't want them to, you simply tell them that. Or if you're not brave enough, just don't let them know what room you're in (check in at a different time from them). AND DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR TO THEM, EVEN IF THEY DO FIND OUT WHAT ROOM YOU'RE IN!

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 03/02/2015 14:54

They will only know your room number if you tell them. The Hotel are not permitted to give room numbers out.

Justmuddlingalong · 03/02/2015 14:54

Could you explain the problem to the hotel, see if they would refund your room rate, and book somewhere secret else. Or see if the hotel would give you a credit note for you to have a night there at a later date.