To not want to stay at the same hotel as family on our wedding night?

[Sugarfreeriot]

Mil asked us where we were staying on the weekend of our wedding, me and dp are staying together the night before as aren't doing things the traditional way. Planned to get ready together and stroll down the he registry office and meet family there.
I assumed that she asked because she didn't want to book the same place, it was the opposite she wants to stay with us at the same hotel so she and her dh can get ready with us and have breakfast etc together.
She knew our plans, we told her but she's booked the same hotel thus going against our plans entirely.
Hotel is non refundable.
Not much I can do now but aibu to be a bit miffed.

I am starting to think eloping would have been a good idea.

I can understand why people don't have weddings at all.

I know it's easy for us to sit here and tell you to say something and much harder to do in real life but you've got to think of the future. If you let them carry on dictating to you, there will be no end to it and your marriage will suffer as well.

She knew. We told them to avoid this. It's not personal but we just want space alone together for once. She knew it but it's done now so will just have to have the whole conversation with her again

So she knew, therefore she knows it isn't what you want. and did it anyway

Have the conversation. again and again and again. Until they get the message. They need to cancel their booking.

Or elope (I'd elope)

Tell them that you've had a problem with the hotel and you've cancelled your booking and have booked somewhere else.

Are you seeing them the day/night before the wedding?

Please do not disturb on the door?

It doesn't sound like the OPs PILs would take any notice of that, French.

"Hi MIL, this is Sugarfree.

I know you would like FIL and DP to spend some time together on the morning of our wedding but we have other plans for that morning that we have been fantasising about since we first decided to marry. I won't go into details because I have no idea if you and FIL are into that sort of thing and I really don't want to embarrass you.

Suffice to say it would save your blushes if you allow us to get ready on our own and meet us at the registry office. We will put the Do Not Disturb sign up to remind you."

That should keep her out of the way

I think your dh to be needs to tell his parents to cancel their booking. If they lose money it's their own fault for deliberately ignoring what you asked for.

My own ils were a complete pita at my wedding - fil refusing to fetch his aunt (as agreed) and so dh had to do it the day before, mil had a strop and was shouty because she insisted on having a reception at her house but doesn't cope well under pressure. If you let them hijack your wedding you will feel resentful always and that's not good for ypur future relationship with them. My relationship with mil is still strained by the damage done due to her lack of respect for my personal space when I first got married/had dc and I've been married donkeys years now!

That was my long winded way of saying start as you mean to go on.